Money saving tip #7

Car repairs: They're outrageously expensive!! I have a plan to save you tons of money on car repairs!

When I first started to drive .. many, many years ago, I can recall the repair shops charging around 35 bucks and hour. Now today, they charge 76 bucks an hour. $76.35 an hour!!! How the hell do you justify that much money per hour?? I would guess that the owner pays his mechanics not more than 20 bucks an hour, leaving a nice healthy profit of 55 dollars an hour. Now considering you have 5 mechanics at your shop, times the 8 hours they work, makes 40 hours each day. And take the 40 hours each day times the $55.00 from each mechanic fee, and you get about $2,200.00 profit ... FOR ONE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!! And assuming your open 5 days a week, times 4 weeks is a nice little nest egg of $44,000.00 per month! That's $44,000.00 per month to pay yourself (the boss), the secretary, heat, lights, land tax, and stuff. Seems to Me you should be able to SQUEAK BY at the end of the year!!!! PRICKS!!!!

Anyway .... back to saving money. I figure in another 10 years, repairs will be around $125.00/hour!!! So to save money, go get everything fixed RIGHT NOW!!! Take your car in and fix everything possible today! Even if you just bought a brand new car, take it in and have them change all the fluids, the timing belt, new transmission, brakes, headlights .... EVERYTHING!!! **WARNING** - When you take your car in for this, the mechanics will NOT want to do this for you. They may even try to talk you out of it, or that your nuts. Don't listen to them, they're just trying to pad their wallets for down the road!!

You'll probably have a couple thousand dollars in repairs, but if you did it 10 years from now, it would probably cost you twice this much!! Save money now by spending it now!! You may think the bill hurts when your done, but trust Me, you'll be thanking Me down the road!
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Sometimes I think I'm just an 'Average Joe', but then days come where I have these brilliant revelations and I realize that I am special and unique and definitely have some purpose on educating the world. Thank you.

ConfusLes

ConfucLes say:

If one seeks happiness at work .. one may never find happiness.

More damning evidence

So the 'bible thumpers' out there think the world is 6000 years old, and that about 4000 years ago God flooded the world and Noah and family were the only human survivors.

Well now there are plenty of reasons to show that this story is complete bullshit, but I'll just dwell on one of them.

How about DNA and the gene pool? You see, science can look at different generations of people today and actually measure the changes in the gene pool from people. For instance, they can measure a Great Great Grandpa, a Great Grandpa, a Grandpa, a Father, and a Son .. and actually see the extremely small changes in the DNA with each passing generation. This is what's called evolution! Small changes in things over time!

NOW ... if you take all the diverse population of people on the earth today from all walks of life and from all four corners of the earth, you have a huge gene pool to deal with. And to 'bottleneck' all that into ONE FAMILY just 4000 years ago leads you to one conclusion. IMPOSSIBLE!!!

IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO HAVE THE VASTNESS OF THE GENE POOL THAT WE HAVE TODAY IF IT WAS SHRUNK TO 1 FAMILY ONLY 4000 YEARS AGO!!!!!!!!!!

Did you get that creationist???? Does is sink in your head yet???? This is a testable, plausible, demonstrable, provable scientific process that not only CAN be done .. but HAS been done!! Nothing could survive that much extreme change in the DNA sequence in that short of period of time!!! I just does NOT work! End of story. AMEN!!!

She says "JUMP" .. He says "How high .. Dear?"

I'd rather plunge a knife into My throat, than to be married to this artificial bitch! Have a nice day.

Can-O-Heat

The other day I took a coffee can and made one of these. It's a little wood stove and it worked great!



Such a simple device, and yet it does the job with next to no wood at all. All you have to do is load it with some tinder (dry leaves, grass, navel lint), and then slowly add some twigs and you have yourself a roaring stove top to cook some food. I can't believe we spend 400, 500, 600 bucks on an stove, when all you need to do is find a metal can and get the same results!

I put a few cups of water in a pan and in a short time, I had a nice rolling boil going. Next I made some soup, then I cooked some sausages on it. Hell the day after Thanksgiving, I cooked some turkey and biscuits on it. And for the fun of it, I took water, got it to simmer, then added some grass and leaves and some small twigs and made tea. And here's the weird part .. it smelled like TEA!! Exactly like you fancy Earl Grey tea in fact. I actually regretted not tasting it.

So everyone out there has a stove that not only cost money to buy, but also cost money every time you turn it on. And as usual, there is a free alternative that NO ONE uses! STUPID!! Excuse Me for a moment as I pray.

"Dear sweet Jesus who I love and adore. Please turn My life back around to the day I was born. Let My parents decide they don't want to raise Me and have them drop Me off at some remote location on the globe where there are NO people so I would have to be raise up by a pack of wolves. Let Me live off the land and not have the marvels of modern technology (But somehow let Me know OF those marvels so I can use My knowledge to create a lifestyle to off the land). Let Me build fires for heat and cooking, build a hut out of tree branches, and build weapons out of honed rocks. Let the meaning of "get a job" be non-existing from My mind. Let My right hand be My source of sexual desires. Let My forms of entertainment be to lay on a big rock and take in the suns rays, or to stare at the vast universe at night. I guess what I'm asking dear Jesus .. is that I have a life like on the movie 'Castaway', ... minus the massive plane explosion! I ask you this Jesus, in your name, for My eternal happiness. Amen."

"Oh yeah, one last thing dear Lord. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, can you magically make a used coffee can appear next to Me. Thank you. Amen again."

1/2 price living

Well November 2009 is in the books, and I gotta say .. I'm quite impressed!

We are a family of 4, living on 15 acres out in the country with a house, quonset, 2 vehicles, a couple roosters, and a dog ... and in November 2009, We did it on $1550.00! I find this pretty damn good.

Now I will have to say, We didn't take a vacation, no major bills were due (taxes, car insurance), and We didn't have anything major go wrong. So I guess it was one of the better months for expenditures.

However!! With that $1550.00, We had people over for a huge Thanksgiving meal, took the kids skating at the local indoor arena, bought the kids some mascot clothes from a school fundraiser (total gimmick), rented movies, went to a downtown Holiday festival, and took the kids swimming, and went out to eat once or twice. Not to mention the 'basic' things that just about everyone does ... pays for the mortgage, heat, electricity, satellite TV, internet, gas, and all the things that go with daily living.

Now I'm sure the government would say that We are living in poverty by only spending this much. I bet the government statistics would say that We need to earn closer to $3000.00 to be considered normal, and that We should be getting food stamps and heating assistance and such. Well you know what? The government can 'Eat My Ass'! I think We live pretty damn good. I may not have a brand new car, a small mansion, 3 cell phones, 6 credit cards, or the latest and greatest gadgets .. but I also don't have a lot of stress in My life of how to pay for all that shit, and I'm not running like a chicken with his head cut off trying to constantly entertain Myself and My kids by involving them in every activity known to man.

So what's the point of trying to live off of less? THE JOB!! It's the job stupid! Not only do I have less stress by living a 'simpler' life, but I'm not pinned down to a job requiring 40, 50 hours a week, and all the stress and responsibility to go with it. Yes .. I am working (I'm sorry), but just barely working!! I work a few days a week, and only 6 hours a day on top of it. But to top it off, I have NO responsibilities to anyone, I just show up, take My time doing stuff to keep Me busy, and leave. And their happy with that because most people these days don't even show up half the time. And apparently they're going to throw a few hundred bucks into My checking account now and then. Good enough. And to top it off, I could quit tomorrow and We'd still be just fine.

So half price living has it's advantages. It's cheaper (duh!), it's simpler, it's a lot less stress, and it really keeps the family tightly together because you rely on each other, instead of the rest of the world to entertain You. Yeah .. I might not have My kids in advanced karate, or ballet .. but We do pull out the 'marble board' and the 'Sorry' game quite a bit, or I have time to personally help them with their homework ... and I think in the long run, that will pay for itself over and over, and I ain't talking about money either!

So everyone out there who lives a more 'sophisticated' lifestyle than Me, have a nice life. You can have the stress of paying a lot of bills that you don't need, and worrying that your next raise will cover the the balance increase on your credit cards. I, on the other hand, think there is nothing much better than NOT having to say "I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go."

In the news (Scary Version)

Two million Muslims are headed to Muzdalifa, Saudi Arabia, to cast stones at the devil in the most dangerous part of the annual hajj pilgrimage, Reuters reported.

Once the Muslim pilgrims get there, they will collect pebbles to throw at walls of the Jamarat Bridge to symbolize the rejection of the devil's temptations.

Aisha Mennan, 63, came from Morocco with her family to take part in the hajj pilgrimage.

"Now I can die in peace," she told Reuters. "My two sons and three daughters have been saving for years to send me here and when the money was ready I had to wait another three years before I got picked by a ballot. I'm very lucky to be here."

According to Reuters, the bridge has been the scene of a number of deadly stampedes, including the incident in 2006 when 362 were crushed to death.

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Yes ladies and gentlemen .. the world is a very scary place! Can you imagine people doing this?? Can you imagine people believing this shit?? I'm having a very hard time thinking I'm living in the 20th century!! You know .. the 20th century that tells us why we have diseases, and germs, and why it rains, and thunders, and lightnings. Why we have floods, and droughts. And guess what people? IT AIN'T BECAUSE GOD IS MAD AT US!!

So throwing rocks at concrete gets rid of some magical devil that haunts you! Really people? REALLY!!!??!!

Holy shit people!! I can't believe in today's age, I can read current headline news and feel like I'm living in the Bronze Age! The current year is almost 2010 .. but to many people out there, it might as well be 1010. Praise Allah .. Amen.