No shit! That's the new martial law in the SOL.
With the massive snow melt and the incredible saturation in the ground, our septic tank cannot release fluid to the drain field. We have cut out water drainage to almost nothing until conditions improve.
We have made some drastic changes in the past day or two:
1. No peeing in the house! A great law that would cut our waste water down by as much as 30%. I have been diligently following this procedure LONG before the flood hit. Now, just try to get a woman to follow this! To compensate for the unlawful women in the SOL, I have encouraged the dog to drink out of the toilet, therefore, balancing out the two.
2. Washing dishes in large containers. Yup .. it's soapy water in one container, rinse water in the other. Then when we're done, we dump the water outside. I'm also thinking about replacing every dish with paper or plastic to eliminate washing dishes and instead just burning them when I'm done. You see!! Looking out for the environment! Not wasting valuable water!
3. Clothes washing. We have a 100 foot drainage hose running from the washer outlet all the way out to the trees. Don't worry, we are hardly using any laundry soap, and it's environmentally friendly too.
4. No showering! For Me, this is not a problem at all. I've been preparing Myself for EXACTLY this type of situation, so for Me to go 5-7 days without showering ... NO PROBLEM! As for the women ... go find a friend with a shower!
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Flood Update -
LOL1 has seemed to stop rising, still short of reaching the quonset.
LOL2 has risen another 2.25 inches in the past 24 hours and still is an immediate threat to flooding out the "Main Lane".
There is still some snow to melt off before we can say that the lakes have peeked. We should know more in the next day or two. Don't forget, for continuous up-to-date coverage and updates, please call 1-888-SOL-WATR. Thank you.
The only thing I would ask with all this water in our state is that My public road would overflow and stop any traffic from going by. WHY CAN'T I HAVE THAT?? That would be great .. not ONE car going by for days! No one comes in .. no one goes out. Hey, kinda like the David Koresh Branch Davidian Compound!! If the public road would only flood .. I could truly start to have complete peace.
And one last thing. If you notice ... I didn't need the national guard, I didn't call Red Cross, I didn't ask for a bailout, I didn't even get on my knees and pray to a mythical God for help! I just sucked it up and dealt with it all by Myself. In fact .. it's been kinda fun!! Trying to save your land and property. Sure beats going to work!! Which is the moral of the story, don't be such pussys America!! Get out and fix your own damn problems! Stop relying on everyone else to solve your dilemmas, be it your water problems, your money problems, or any other problems! Quit being the lazy, spoiled, yuppy, bastards you've become and start doing something for yourself!! AMEN!!
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Todays RBV:
Revelation 21:1 And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea.
No more sea!!!!! Oh GOD that would be great right about now ... NO water!!
