Raindrops keep falling on my head.

Sooooooooooo God was so pissed off in the days of Noah, that He thought the only thing that could fix it would be to flood the whole damn world and start over.

That's right, every innocent baby, DEAD. Every little cute animal, DEAD. Every living frickin' thing, DEAD! Well except for Noah and His family ... OH, and a couple million pairs of animals including the kangaroo from Australia, and the polar bear from the north pole.

Anyway, that sounds like a lot of water. In fact, so much water that I thought it took some looking into. So the bible says that God flooded the earth for 40 days and 40 nights, and that the water was 15 cubits above the highest mountain.

Now let's see, the highest mountain is Mt. Everest, and 15 cubits is around 20 feet. So I'm supposed to believe that God created enough water in 40 days to flood the 29,000 foot Mt. Everest? Now that's what I call a downpour.

To have this happen, it would have to rain 6 inches each minute. That's 360 inches of rain in one hour, or 8640 inches in one day ... for 40 days straight! Now I may not be the smartest apple on the tree, but the thought of it raining 720 feet in one day ... everyday .. for 40 days is probably one of the biggest bullshit stories I've ever heard. Not to mention just how in the hell did Noah know that He was 20 feet above the highest mountain?? Did He have sonar back then?

It's all fine and dandy to have these stories to tell. But it's just damn scary when people actually believe them and base their morals and values of their lives on them. And yet I get into arguments with people all the time about how the Bible is 100% perfect, and has never been proven wrong in 1000's of years! REALLY???

One can only conclude that there are 2 types of people in the world. One deals with facts, logic, and reason ... and the other .. uhmmm .. well ... MAGIC!

S.O.L. Flood Update

URGENT UPDATE:


The 'Main Lane' is under attack from a ferocious LOL2 unexpected rise. Due to warm weather and continued snow melt, we are now within INCHES of loosing the main lane. We brought out the big guns today ... that is a 6 HP, 15,000 Gallon Per Hour water pump to help the situation. It's been running steady all day, but with the extreme flooding situation on the entire property, we eventually ran into the problem of where to pump it?? We will continue to do our best to keep the Main Lane from going under, as it is a highly valued road and will be needed for the Arbor Day tourists that will be coming soon.

We will be monitoring the situation along with all the flooding at SOL through the night. We've also set up and emergency phone line where you can get up-to-the-minute updates on the flooding conditions 24-7. Please call 1-888-SOL-WATR for additional information.

On a similar note, "Project Ark" will begin soon. Thank you.

S.O.L. Road Report and Cancellations

Due to extreme weather and equipment failure, the S.O.L. has the following announcements.





MAIN LANE - drifted over, hazardous driving conditions

THE LOOP - CLOSED - drifted and flooded

QUONSET AVE - 7 foot drifts and flooded

HOUSE STREET - Major drifts, hazardous driving conditions

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Other announcements:

- The S.O.L. bingo will not be held this week.

- Senior citizen 'bowling in Depends undergarments' will be rescheduled for April 11th.

- The annual 'Moose Roast' has been postponed indefinitely.

- The tractor repair classes are canceled until weather permits.

- The snow blower reassembly team will not be meeting due to road conditions.

- "The Clearing a Path to the Quonset" book reading club is canceled.

- The A.B.R.O.C.T. (Altar Boys Raped On Church Time) recovery meeting has been postponed until April 3rd.

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A special thank you to all who donated their time in helping with the sandbagging efforts at the S.O.L. With your help, we WILL keep the sloughs at bay!

A special thank you goes out to Reverend Todd for your prayers for better weather. Looks like it didn't work however.

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Please stay tuned to S.O.L. for any changes. Or you can tune in to any of our sister stations on the net at :

www.northdakotasucks.com

www.whydoilivehere.com

www.hellhasfrozenover.com

www.wheresmycaptainmorgan.com

Still going

The cleanup from the spring blizzard is continuing as you read this. In fact, right now I'm probably out helping snow blow about 20 homes in town, then I gotta come home and clean out my place and get some vehicles running. Could this be the 'End Times?'

I just can't wait until all this passes and I can sit down and read a good Nancy Drew mystery and soak my genitalia in mineral oil the way God intended! AMEN!

And, YES .. all these photos are from around the area, and YES, they are all taken just a day or two ago.

Oh yeah ... WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!






Todays RBV: Revelation 17:1 And there came one of the seven angels which had the seven vials, and talked with me, saying unto me, Come hither; I will shew unto thee the judgment of the great whore that sitteth upon many waters:



I KNEW IT ... WE'RE F-ED!!!!!!