Stupidity Alert

As I type this, we are in a major winter storm that started out with freezing rain, then turned into snow and should dump 8-12 inches before it's said and done.

It's times like these that I wish I was God .. or at least a bird or something! Something that could float above the roads and watch morons attempt to drive down a highway with continuous 1 foot drifts across it. I just witnessed a moron in a little passenger car hit the ditch not 100 yards down the road from My house. Soon, more morons were coming down the road and stopping to see what's going on. I drove this road last night .. it's NOT GOOD at all. But I knew that the road conditions sucked the minute I turned onto it, these morons with their little cars knew it too, but they still pressed on and ended up in the ditch.

Now one would think that I, living so close by, would have gotten all bundled up and ran out to see if I could help. But you'd be wrong. I sat on My couch with a nice cup of java in My hands and watched out the window during the whole thing. You also might think that I was hoping that no one got hurt, but you'd be wrong again. My only wish was that they didn't start walking down My driveway looking for help. I know .. I know, I'm a heartless prick. But not really.

You see .. I have a hell of a hard time rewarding human stupidity. This storm was predicted a week ago, but yet there will always be SOMEBODY out there who is stupid enough to think they have to get to the mall, or go out and get some milk. I just can't see logic in this, therefore I cannot assist you in your stupidity quest. Helping stupid people is something that everyone does, so we all expect it. Hell, it's even what the government does! The government is a classic example of helping out poor, stupid, lazy people. But I have to 'stick to My guns' and say it's just not right. Maybe a little bit of misery will help you learn your lesson. Don't come knocking on My door because you were stupid enough to go out in this weather, I'm playing 'Hot Wheels' with the kids, drinking a nice cup of coffee, and I have 2 forms of dead animal cooking on the skillet making the house smell awesome!! But at the same time, thank you for the entertainment.

So this moron's day is ruined. That gallon of milk He needed so badly will end up costing Him around 100 bucks or more with the towing costs. And when the weather people and science say "Stay at home" or "No travel advised" ... do Me a favor ... stay the fuck home!!!!!!!!!!

S.O.L. Flood Update

URGENT UPDATE:


The 'Main Lane' is under attack from a ferocious LOL2 unexpected rise. Due to warm weather and continued snow melt, we are now within INCHES of loosing the main lane. We brought out the big guns today ... that is a 6 HP, 15,000 Gallon Per Hour water pump to help the situation. It's been running steady all day, but with the extreme flooding situation on the entire property, we eventually ran into the problem of where to pump it?? We will continue to do our best to keep the Main Lane from going under, as it is a highly valued road and will be needed for the Arbor Day tourists that will be coming soon.

We will be monitoring the situation along with all the flooding at SOL through the night. We've also set up and emergency phone line where you can get up-to-the-minute updates on the flooding conditions 24-7. Please call 1-888-SOL-WATR for additional information.

On a similar note, "Project Ark" will begin soon. Thank you.

S.O.L. Flood Report

Road Conditions:

Main Lane - Open. We do not expect Lake of Les 2 to crest over the road unless we get a heavy rain or snow in the immediate future.

The Loop - Drifted and flooded. We do not expect the loop to thaw until around April 13th, then additional waiting will apply for the road to dry to allow any traffic.

Quonset Ave - Drifted and flooded. This road remains underwater and there is substantial snow melt yet to come. Please use alternate route to quonset until further advice. Earliest estimates are at least a couple weeks out before the road is open.

House Street - Open. All roadways in this area are in good spring driving conditions.

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**** Pink areas on the map indicate mass snow yet to melt and run off.
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Lake of Les #1 - We are currently experiencing extreme rising in LOL1, as much as 10 inches in one day with much snow left to melt and run off. On top of the rising waters, we are pumping the areas around the front of the quonset into LOL1, further adding to the rising waters. Expect flooding conditions in the area east and north of the quonset in the next week. Latest estimates have determined that the water WILL reach the quonset, and beyond. Due to the extreme swelling of LOL1, farming operations in that area may be pushed into early June.

Lake of Les #2 - We feel that LOL2 has just about crested, with around 2 feet to go before reaching flood stage and taking out the 'Main Lane'.



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A special thank you to the 'Young Lesbian Association' for all your help with the dyking.


All reports are deemed accurate as of April 11th 2009, considering the forecast of no new accumulations of moisture in the next 10 days.