Raindrops keep falling on my head.

Sooooooooooo God was so pissed off in the days of Noah, that He thought the only thing that could fix it would be to flood the whole damn world and start over.

That's right, every innocent baby, DEAD. Every little cute animal, DEAD. Every living frickin' thing, DEAD! Well except for Noah and His family ... OH, and a couple million pairs of animals including the kangaroo from Australia, and the polar bear from the north pole.

Anyway, that sounds like a lot of water. In fact, so much water that I thought it took some looking into. So the bible says that God flooded the earth for 40 days and 40 nights, and that the water was 15 cubits above the highest mountain.

Now let's see, the highest mountain is Mt. Everest, and 15 cubits is around 20 feet. So I'm supposed to believe that God created enough water in 40 days to flood the 29,000 foot Mt. Everest? Now that's what I call a downpour.

To have this happen, it would have to rain 6 inches each minute. That's 360 inches of rain in one hour, or 8640 inches in one day ... for 40 days straight! Now I may not be the smartest apple on the tree, but the thought of it raining 720 feet in one day ... everyday .. for 40 days is probably one of the biggest bullshit stories I've ever heard. Not to mention just how in the hell did Noah know that He was 20 feet above the highest mountain?? Did He have sonar back then?

It's all fine and dandy to have these stories to tell. But it's just damn scary when people actually believe them and base their morals and values of their lives on them. And yet I get into arguments with people all the time about how the Bible is 100% perfect, and has never been proven wrong in 1000's of years! REALLY???

One can only conclude that there are 2 types of people in the world. One deals with facts, logic, and reason ... and the other .. uhmmm .. well ... MAGIC!

Noah's Ark part 2 (God got pissed!)

Well we left off yesterday with the absurdities of the fact that people actually think the "Noah's Ark" story is true. In fact in a recent poll, 60% of U.S. citizens believe the story of Noah's Ark is literally true. You know what this tells me? 60% of U.S. citizens are F-ING STUPID. Stupid, lazy, people who are too dumb to explore the facts on a story that is possibly going to help explain the meaning of life.

So what the hell is with this ark story? People say they found a boat shaped object buried in the mountain in Mt. Ararat. Others say it's just a natural mud formation like other similar shapes in that area. And there are countless stories of this famous tale. Well with a little more rational thinking, it seems a bit more logical that there was, at one time a big flood. A big LOCAL flood that is. It's been studied that some king rode a ship with food and supplies down the flooded Euphrates river until He landed on dry land somewhere down in the Persian Gulf. Then He celebrated surviving the flood in a hilltop temple. And there is geological studies done to back this up. At any rate, it would seem this is a much more rational approach on this fable.

I think the whole "story" of Noah's Ark is a tale of destructing all evil things, and starting over anew. It seems to make a lot more sense as a fable, than to actually try to take it apart and describe exactly how it could have been done, as many Christians are doing today. All you Christians are doing is making yourself look like a total ass, and nothing else. There are so many holes in this story, you'd be better just leaving it alone and just say "God works in mysterious ways."

I truly believe that we could come up with almost anything to tell people, and no matter how insane the story is, your gonna get people stupid enough to believe it. Hitler himself said, "It is easier to get people to believe a big lie than a small lie." Well, I gotta give Him credit there, He sure fooled a lot of people into one massive stupid lie. And in the end He shot Himself, in an underground bunker. And this is one case where I actually wish there was a hell, because He deserves to be rotting in it for a long time. But again, my rational, logical sense tells me that even Hitler is not rotting is some magical fiery pit, but just being eaten by the worms like the rest of the people.

I guess most of you people can look at a rainbow and see "God's promise" to never flood the world again. Meanwhile I'll look up at the sky and see a beautiful example of the spectrum of light, diverted to my eyes by water droplets.

I really don't know how much logic it takes for people to "wake up", but I'm pretty sure there won't be enough of it in my lifetime to see a huge change in peoples stupidity. I think people have just formed themselves into this mold of how to live, and God forbid they break that mold and think outside the box. And all the wars, and fighting will just continue like always as people keep claiming that their God has a bigger penis than your God. Maybe the only thing that can save the world from the wacko's out there is a worldwide flood where only the sane, rational people will board a boat and the rest will perish in the flood. Ahhhh, who am I kidding, that'll never happen!


Todays RBV:

Genesis 6:5 And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart. And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.

I don't know the population of earth back in Noah's days, but even it was only 1000 people, isn't it a little strange to assume that 992 out of the 1000 were so wicked and evil that they needed to be murdered by a loving God? Now do that same math with 100,000 or a million people. Yeah ... it's absurd alright

Noah's Ark part 1

Ahhh, what a great story. God told Noah to put 2 of every animal on a boat and get ready for a forty day rain that will flood the world. Like I said .. this is a great STORY! To actually analyze this, would be like trying to explain how Santa Claus visits every house in the world in one night however. The two stories are very similar you see. Both of them are very entertaining, but to statistically take it apart borders on absurdity. In fact, there are people who won't even debate the issue because it's so absurd to talk about as a "real event", that it borders on embarrassing!!

But for the sake of argument, let's take this story apart a bit.

God told Noah to build a boat that was to be 450 feet long, 75 feet wide, and 45 feet tall. Now imagine this. 45o feet long ....... wow. That's a BIG FRICKIN' BOAT!! That's about 1,500,000 square feet. I encourage every one of you out there to measure this out and see just how long that really is. And if you do measure this, make sure you do it in a street or something because it's longer than any of your "backyards"!

450 feet long ... just how long is that? Well it's quite a bit longer than a football field. Yeah, a football field, made of wood, back around 4,500 year ago. Yup, uh huh, sure it was. And let's see, it was taller than a 3 story building. Remember this fact the next time you head downtown and compare. The deck size alone would be the equivalent of 36 tennis courts for Christ sakes!! All all this was nicely sealed up with some pine resin .... yeah I can see how that would handle a world wide devastating flood. Oh yeah, did I happen to mention this was built by just 8 people?


These are just a FEW examples of some problems with the story of Noah's Ark.

- The fact that they don't make wooden vessels much past 300 feet since wood is not capable of handling the waves and the boat breaks apart. That still holds true today ... uhmmm .. 4,500 year later.

- There is no way in hell that every animal lived within a reasonable distance of where Noah lived. They were scattered across the world in fact, good luck with them swimming across some oceans to get on the Ark. And if your dumb enough to say that all the animals lived on the same land mass "pre-flood", then please explain how they all got to where they are "post-flood".

- All the animals with special diets that only eat specific things would have died.

- A lot of the animals would have eaten each other

- There is NO geographical record of there EVER being a worldwide flood.

- 2 of each DINOSAUR would be on board as Christians say we live with them. This is just too funny to even go into detail about.

- Most of the fish would have died because of the rapid change of salinity in the water (like the oceans, which are salt water). Not to mention the PH change also.

- Where did all the water go?

- How could a "loving, caring God" kill ALL the innocents animals on earth?? Surely SOME of them didn't do anything wrong. It seems slightly harsh to execute every single living creature on earth doesn't it? Think about it, every little animal baby, how about every little HUMAN baby. Oh yeah ...... I keep forgetting ... BUT HE LOVES YOU!

- And the fact that fitting millions of species of animals on this boat is totally absurd. That's right, not a chance in hell, even if they were stacked neatly one on top of the other!! But I bring this point up because there are Christian people DUMB enough to say that there were not nearly as many species back in the day of Noah so all the animals would have fit. Now this is just a plain stupid comment to say from a Christian since what they are suggesting is that those animals EVOLVED over the years to form new species into what we have today. Well I hate to break the news to you CHRISTIAN WACKO'S .... but you don't believe in evolution you stupid chimpanzee, SUV, bottled water drinking MORONS!! Case closed!!

- How about the climate on board the Ark. I'm not sure how the polar bears and penguins held out in that fine climate controlled wooden vessel that Noah built.

- What did all the carnivores eat when they got off the Ark when the waters subsided and they were set free???


Ahhhhh yes, the story of Noah's Ark. Such a big topic, it needs to be continued into tomorrows blog. See ya then!


Todays RBV:

Genesis 6:19 And from every living thing of all flesh, two of all to come into the coffer, to keep alive with you; male and female they will be, from the flying creature after their kind, and from the cattle after their kind, from every creeping thing of the earth after its kind, two from all will come to you to keep alive.

Occasionally, I don't even need to put a stupid comment about the bible verse. It does just fine on it's own. This would be one of those verses.