Ahhh, what a great story. God told Noah to put 2 of every animal on a boat and get ready for a forty day rain that will flood the world. Like I said .. this is a great STORY! To actually analyze this, would be like trying to explain how Santa Claus visits every house in the world in one night however. The two stories are very similar you see. Both of them are very entertaining, but to statistically take it apart borders on absurdity. In fact, there are people who won't even debate the issue because it's so absurd to talk about as a "real event", that it borders on embarrassing!!
But for the sake of argument, let's take this story apart a bit.
God told Noah to build a boat that was to be 450 feet long, 75 feet wide, and 45 feet tall. Now imagine this. 45o feet long ....... wow. That's a BIG FRICKIN' BOAT!! That's about 1,500,000 square feet. I encourage every one of you out there to measure this out and see just how long that really is. And if you do measure this, make sure you do it in a street or something because it's longer than any of your "backyards"!
450 feet long ... just how long is that? Well it's quite a bit longer than a football field. Yeah, a football field, made of wood, back around 4,500 year ago. Yup, uh huh, sure it was. And let's see, it was taller than a 3 story building. Remember this fact the next time you head downtown and compare. The deck size alone would be the equivalent of 36 tennis courts for Christ sakes!! All all this was nicely sealed up with some pine resin .... yeah I can see how that would handle a world wide devastating flood. Oh yeah, did I happen to mention this was built by just 8 people?
These are just a FEW examples of some problems with the story of Noah's Ark.
- The fact that they don't make wooden vessels much past 300 feet since wood is not capable of handling the waves and the boat breaks apart. That still holds true today ... uhmmm .. 4,500 year later.
- There is no way in hell that every animal lived within a reasonable distance of where Noah lived. They were scattered across the world in fact, good luck with them swimming across some oceans to get on the Ark. And if your dumb enough to say that all the animals lived on the same land mass "pre-flood", then please explain how they all got to where they are "post-flood".
- All the animals with special diets that only eat specific things would have died.
- A lot of the animals would have eaten each other
- There is NO geographical record of there EVER being a worldwide flood.
- 2 of each DINOSAUR would be on board as Christians say we live with them. This is just too funny to even go into detail about.
- Most of the fish would have died because of the rapid change of salinity in the water (like the oceans, which are salt water). Not to mention the PH change also.
- Where did all the water go?
- How could a "loving, caring God" kill ALL the innocents animals on earth?? Surely SOME of them didn't do anything wrong. It seems slightly harsh to execute every single living creature on earth doesn't it? Think about it, every little animal baby, how about every little HUMAN baby. Oh yeah ...... I keep forgetting ... BUT HE LOVES YOU!
- And the fact that fitting millions of species of animals on this boat is totally absurd. That's right, not a chance in hell, even if they were stacked neatly one on top of the other!! But I bring this point up because there are Christian people DUMB enough to say that there were not nearly as many species back in the day of Noah so all the animals would have fit. Now this is just a plain stupid comment to say from a Christian since what they are suggesting is that those animals EVOLVED over the years to form new species into what we have today. Well I hate to break the news to you CHRISTIAN WACKO'S .... but you don't believe in evolution you stupid chimpanzee, SUV, bottled water drinking MORONS!! Case closed!!
- How about the climate on board the Ark. I'm not sure how the polar bears and penguins held out in that fine climate controlled wooden vessel that Noah built.
- What did all the carnivores eat when they got off the Ark when the waters subsided and they were set free???
Ahhhhh yes, the story of Noah's Ark. Such a big topic, it needs to be continued into tomorrows blog. See ya then!
Todays RBV:
Genesis 6:19 And from every living thing of all flesh, two of all to come into the coffer, to keep alive with you; male and female they will be, from the flying creature after their kind, and from the cattle after their kind, from every creeping thing of the earth after its kind, two from all will come to you to keep alive.
Occasionally, I don't even need to put a stupid comment about the bible verse. It does just fine on it's own. This would be one of those verses.
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