New Years Resolutions

Well here it is! The biggest, and most important resolutions in a man's life. This is 'DO OR DIE' time!! The point in life where a change can occur and a person can live a happy, personally successful life, and die knowing that He made the right decisions in living His life. OR - Die while still being alive by going back to work for 'the man' and when the real death comes, all He can say is that He worked for someone else His whole life and successfully made OTHER people's lives happy. Basically, most everything we do today, as we know it, is stupid!! From working, to eating, to how we raise our family, to religion, to our very definition of what is important to us.

So that being said, here is MY list of New Years Resolutions for 2009 and beyond.
1. I will only eat natural foods for as long as I possibly can. Hopefully forever!

2. I will not shave my beard until I lose 50 pounds. Note: I have not shaved since November 29th, so I already am starting to look like Grizzly Adams.

3. In ADDITION to not shaving my beard, I'm going to also throw in NOT cutting my hair until I lose 50 pounds. Yeah ... my wife will have me sleeping outside real soon.

4. I will NOT leave my farmstead for at least 30 days. I will not be allowed to leave and go to town for any reason. Anything I might need the wife will have to get when She goes in. I think one month of just Me, a few projects, and my land will do a person a lot of good. I'd like to extend this out way past 30 days, but with the wife going to work, and one kid having preschool in February sometime, I must live up to my family obligations too.

5. Along the lines of the last resolution, I will not bring the rest of my family into my personal ventures. They will live just like they always have, doing their normal activities, school, friends, get-togethers and such. Life will continue just as normal as it always has for them ... well as normal as living with a guy like me can be that is.

6. I WILL grow a corn maze and pumpkin patch and have it open to the public to make money. This should be interesting since I have NO equipment as of yet and the only thing I know about planting corn is you go to Walmart, buy a packet of seeds ... etc.

7. I shall NOT make more money than the poverty level that the government has set for a family of 4. That is $21,200. This way I don't pay any taxes to a worthless, corrupt, greedy system that definitely needs to collapse and start over. I'LL BE DOING MY PART TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN !!!! (NO .. my family will not suffer because of the lower income .. I got it covered, trust Me)

8. I WILL NOT be going back to work for THE MAN!! Well at least for one year! If, after one year, everything I've planned and dreamed up has come to a colossal failure and I see that I was totally wrong, and that the only way to make it in life is to get a typical job and punch a time clock for a living .... THEN I will go back and do just that. But I wouldn't hold your breath on this one, because I'm pretty sure I'm right to think that 'people' don't HAVE to live this way.

9. I won't start believing in religion until RELIGION comes to ME!!! I figure I wasted enough of My life trying to find some magical, mystical figure in the sky .. He/She knows that I'm here so if I'm loved enough by this heavenly being out there, it can come find me and prove that it's real.

10. Finally, I will continue to be as stubborn as I am and question everything in life that we do. I feel that society as a whole is getting dumber, and people are getting lazier, and more numb to what 'living' really is, and that is why I'm doing what I'm doing.
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Then there is the list of things that are not really resolutions, but just changes that I think are interesting enough to point out.

1. I have moved the TV and DVD player and Playstation OUT of the bedroom and replaced the open space with books. Yup .. I'm giving up watching movies and playing video games and replacing them with reading. I THINK I still remember how to read ... I did it in high school once or twice.

2. I've replaced the light in my room with oil lamps. I have no idea what this means but I'm doing it anyway.

3. I would like to become self-sufficient over time. Now this is something I cannot do in one day, or maybe not even in one year, but I really want to get there. That is, supplying most of my own food, my own water, my own power and such. I will be doing this in stages as I get comfortable with the ideas and plans that I have.
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So there you have it, my goals for 2009. I'm sure all you yuppies out there will set your own personal goals for yourselves too. Like giving up chocolate, or mocha frappacinoes, or getting that platinum credit card. Yeah .. have fun, at the end of the year you'll still be the same shallow, image toting, hollow person that you are today! WHAT?? Did you think I could let a day go by without bitching about something?? Nice try !!