John 3:16

Get it ?? Today is March 16th, or 3/16. What a perfect day to talk about a famous bible verse.

So what exactly does John 3:16 say? It says :

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
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Hmmmmmmm. I don't see what is so special about this verse, it seems just as stupid as any other bible verse if you ask Me.

-God so loved the world. - I doubt that, all evidence points to the fact that God hates the world. He's pissed off, jealous, and angry that we always fuck up (but He invented us). Doesn't it seem odd that an all powerful being has such petty human emotions as jealousy, and anger??

-He gave His only begotten Son - Well now, I never asked you to give up your son. Nor did I say that He had to be an only child! I mean - your God ... why didn't you just magically impregnate 100 women instead of just one?

- And you really didn't give up your Son .. because your son is YOU! And since you know everything, then you already knew that after 3 days you would rise again and go right back to heaven where you came from in the first place. What kind of sacrifice is that?

- Shall not perish, but have everlasting life - BULLSHIT! Everybody perishes. Anyone and everyone who has ever lived has perished. And what's this everlasting life stuff? Do you have any proof that there is everlasting life? NO! That's the beauty of religion ... all the magic happens AFTER YOU DIE!!! Wow .... what a concept! No way anyone can ever prove you wrong!

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I'd like to propose My own bible verse that makes about as much sense.

For Les so loved the world, that He sent a spaghetti monster to watch over you during your time on earth, and that all who believe in the pasta fairy shall never die, but live eternally forever in the big meatball in the sky.

Notice any similarities??? Yeah ... you can't prove ME wrong either. Enough said.

Genesis 1:16

And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.

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Now I know I've talked about this already, but it really bugs Me. How do Christians read this and not say "Wait a minute .. this don't make sense? This is something man would write back in the day when they didn't know any better!"

- God made 2 great lights - WRONG

- the lesser light to rule the night - WRONG

- he made the stars also - AS IF THE STARS ARE ANY DIFFERENT THAN THE GREATER LIGHT! They are all suns !!!!!!! How could God be so stupid? Oh yeah, it wasn't God .. it was man who just didn't know any better. Silly Me.

-And people would say "It was written by man, not inspired by God, so of course they are going to make some mistakes" To which I would reply, "Then what the hell are we doing looking for the divine answers in it for????????"

WARNING !!!!!!!!

Click on image for better viewing.

Raindrops keep falling on my head.

Sooooooooooo God was so pissed off in the days of Noah, that He thought the only thing that could fix it would be to flood the whole damn world and start over.

That's right, every innocent baby, DEAD. Every little cute animal, DEAD. Every living frickin' thing, DEAD! Well except for Noah and His family ... OH, and a couple million pairs of animals including the kangaroo from Australia, and the polar bear from the north pole.

Anyway, that sounds like a lot of water. In fact, so much water that I thought it took some looking into. So the bible says that God flooded the earth for 40 days and 40 nights, and that the water was 15 cubits above the highest mountain.

Now let's see, the highest mountain is Mt. Everest, and 15 cubits is around 20 feet. So I'm supposed to believe that God created enough water in 40 days to flood the 29,000 foot Mt. Everest? Now that's what I call a downpour.

To have this happen, it would have to rain 6 inches each minute. That's 360 inches of rain in one hour, or 8640 inches in one day ... for 40 days straight! Now I may not be the smartest apple on the tree, but the thought of it raining 720 feet in one day ... everyday .. for 40 days is probably one of the biggest bullshit stories I've ever heard. Not to mention just how in the hell did Noah know that He was 20 feet above the highest mountain?? Did He have sonar back then?

It's all fine and dandy to have these stories to tell. But it's just damn scary when people actually believe them and base their morals and values of their lives on them. And yet I get into arguments with people all the time about how the Bible is 100% perfect, and has never been proven wrong in 1000's of years! REALLY???

One can only conclude that there are 2 types of people in the world. One deals with facts, logic, and reason ... and the other .. uhmmm .. well ... MAGIC!

Papal Infallibility

Papal Infallibility - basically means the the Pope, and the Catholic church are NOT capable of making a mistake. Can you imagine this? To be so arrogant that you have the balls to say that it is impossible for you to make a mistake, and that whatever the Pope says must be the word of God, therefor it cannot be questioned. It's truly amazing .. it really is.

As you may know, I think all religions out there are bunk, but a few really rank high on My list of insanity. Besides the really whacked-out ones like the Mormons and Scientology, I rank Catholics on My list of absurdity pretty damn high. They don't have a religion, they have a God Damn government! First is the Pope, then the Bishop, then Arch Bishop, a Cardinal, a Deacon, a Priest, an Altar Boy ... and probably another 10 that fit in between all of those. Then of course there are all the Saints that your supposed to pray to. I vaguely remember in church there was a certain time of year where we went through this MASSIVE list of people to pray for us. I swore it would never end! It went something like this -

Priest : Saint Augustus

People: Pray for Us

Priest: Saint Catherine

People: Pray for Us

Priest: Saint Theresa

People: Pray for Us

This went on and on and on for what seemed like forever as it was sung out in monotone chorus with the congregation! What a bunch of shit! Who the hell invented this crap? Where do they come up with this stuff? I think if there is a God, He is sitting up there in Heaven looking down at the Catholic church and saying "How in THE hell did you come up with all this crap??"

I mean if you step back and look at the Catholic Church and all their rituals that they do, from the robes, and the smoke, and the kneeling, and sitting, and standing, and bowing, and genuflecting ... you would swear you watching something from the 1800's!! It's just nuts!!

So 'Papal Infallibility' and the Catholic Church. Just another thing in a loooooong line of things that make Me think religion is some of the craziest stuff we humans practice in our daily lives. When will we wake up?? AMEN!

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Todays RBV: The book of Tobit. Or the book of Judith, or how about the book of Wisdom. In fact there is a WHOLE LIST of books in the Catholic Bible that ARE NOT in any other Bible. Now if the Bible is the inspired word of God, then which version of that inspired word are we supposed to use? In fact, if it's the 'rock hard' word of God, why are there different versions to begin with ??????????? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!

Repulsive Bible Verse

Sorry I couldn't end todays blog with a RBV. It's so long that it is the entire topic!!


Leviticus:

15:19 And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even.

15:20 And every thing that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean: every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean.
15:21 And whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.
15:22 And whosoever toucheth any thing that she sat upon shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.
15:23 And if it be on her bed, or on any thing whereon she sitteth, when he toucheth it, he shall be unclean until the even.
15:24 And if any man lie with her at all, and her flowers be upon him, he shall be unclean seven days; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall be unclean.

15:25 And if a woman have an issue of her blood many days out of the time of her separation, or if it run beyond the time of her separation; all the days of the issue of her uncleanness shall be as the days of her separation: she shall be unclean.
15:26 Every bed whereon she lieth all the days of her issue shall be unto her as the bed of her separation: and whatsoever she sitteth upon shall be unclean, as the uncleanness of her separation.
15:27 And whosoever toucheth those things shall be unclean, and shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.
15:28 But if she be cleansed of her issue, then she shall number to herself seven days, and after that she shall be clean.
15:29 And on the eighth day she shall take unto her two turtles, or two young pigeons, and bring them unto the priest, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.
15:30 And the priest shall offer the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering; and the priest shall make an atonement for her before the LORD for the issue of her uncleanness. So all you Bible thumping women out there, take some notes. When that time of the month comes around, make damn sure not to sit or lay on anything, don't go to work, live in solitary confinement and have no contact with anyone. And on the eighth day bring 2 turtles or 2 pigeons to your priest and ask for forgiveness for your sins! COME ON women!!!!!!! You DO believe in the Bible don't you??

A Bible for the rest of us.

If your like me, the Bible never really made a hell-of-a-lotta sense. I've been told it's the "Book of Life", or the blueprint on How to Live, or even "God's written word". Well that's all fine and dandy, but it still didn't make any damn sense. I needed a translator just to figure out what the hell it was saying. So, over the years, my Bible knowledge came from 1 hour in church on Sunday. That is IF I was even paying attention to what the man in the Holy Robe was yapping about, and chances are, I wasn't.

Well those days are gone and now that life is half over, I FINALLY found a Bible that I can understand. That speaks to me in plain English, that has pictures to back up what it's talking about. Where the hell was this Bible all my life??? I might be a different person today if I had found this Bible 20 years ago.

Just what am I talking about? "The Brick Testament". Yes ... The Brick Testament ... the Bible, according to Legos !!!

Don't believe me?? Go check it out!

www.thebricktestament.com

NOW you have NO excuse NOT to read your Bible verses! So get busy and do some learning, if your like me, you have a LOT of making up to do. To bad in the end, it's still all myths and folk tales, no matter how you present it.



Todays RBV: 1 Samuel 17:57 And as David returned from the slaughter of the Philistine, Abner took him, and brought him before Saul with the head of the Philistine in his hand.


And I always thought Islam was a F-ed up religion with their beheadings and crap. Turns out the Holy Christian Bible kinda says the same thing. SHIT ... one can only conclude that ALL religion is one big stupid pile of dung and has NO place in the world today.

WTF !

Now you may find this hard to believe, but there are some strange Bible verses out there. In fact, many of them just plain contradict each other. Here a just a few examples of the Bible not matching up with itself. Enjoy!

Love and Hate

EXO 15:3 The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name.

ROM 15:33 Now the God of peace be with you all. Amen.

Who's your daddy?

MAT 1:16 And Jacob begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ.

LUK 3:23 And Jesus himself began to be about thirty years of age, being (as was supposed) the son of Joseph, which was the son of Heli.

God VS Jesus

JOH 10:30 I and my Father are one.

JOH 14:28 Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I.

What's up with the righteous??

PSA 92:12: "The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree."

ISA 57:1: "The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart."

Jesus's last words

MAT 27:46,50: "And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, "Eli, eli, lama sabachthani?" that is to say, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" ...Jesus, when he cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost."

LUK 23:46: "And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, "Father, unto thy hands I commend my spirit:" and having said thus, he gave up the ghost."

JOH 19:30: "When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, "It is finished:" and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost."

Can we see God?

Yes:

"And the Lord spake to Moses face to face, as a man speaketh to his friend." (EXO 33:11)
"For I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved." (GEN 32:30)

No:

"No man hath seen God at any time." (JOH 1:18)
"And he said, Thou canst not see my face; for there shall no man see me and live." (EXO 33:20)
"Whom no man hath seen nor can see." (1TIM 6:16)

Does every man sin?

1KI 8:46 If they sin against thee, (for there is no man that sinneth not,) and thou be angry with them, and deliver them to the enemy, so that they carry them away captives unto the land of the enemy, far or near;

2CH 6:36 If they sin against thee, (for there is no man which sinneth not,) and thou be angry with them, and deliver them over before their enemies, and they carry them away captives unto a land far off or near;

PRO 20:9 Who can say, I have made my heart clean, I am pure from my sin?

ECC 7:20 For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not.

JO1 1:8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
JO1 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
JO1 1:10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

JO1 3:9 Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.

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Holy Crap this blog is getting long. To bad I can just keep going on and on and on like the Energizer bunny with this stuff. It really is endless.

No RBV today, I think enough absurdities have been said already. Amen.

Pick a Bible, any Bible

Is it any wonder why no one can agree on which religion is right? Take a look at the list below and see just how many versions there are of the Christian Bible alone! And this list is a very "partial" list, of the different Bibles out there, believe Me, I cherry picked quite a bit.

Now if there was all powerful, all seeing, all Holy, all knowing God to rule the heavens and the earth, one would think that there would be ONE set of rules (Bible) to rule over all of us. But no .. since it was invented by man, many people have come along over the years and tried to "update" the word of God to fit their lifestyles into the mangled mess of what we call "religion". And again, this is just the Christian crap, we could repeat this process over and over for the 100's of different religions out there.

So continue to swim in the massively congested pool of religion if you wish, as for Me, Myself, and I ... well ... you know, I kinda think your ALL full of shit. Amen


American Standard Version

King James Version

Amplified Bible

American Translation

Basic English Bible

Complete Jewish Bible

Contemporary English Version

Good News Bible

God's Word Bible

Jerusalem Bible

The Living Bible

Berkeley Bible

Geneva Bible

New King James

Coverdale Bible

Modern Language Bible

New Century Bible

New Living Translation

Quaker Bible

Recovery Version Bible

Revised Bible

Darby Bible

Easy-to-Read Bible

Ferrar Fenton Bible

Taverner's Bible

Thomson's Translation Bible

Updated New King James Version

Westminster Bible

Wilclif's Bible



Todays RBV:

1 Chronicles 4:5 And Ashur the father of Tekoa had two wives, Helah and Naarah.


This is one ... of a LONG list of polygamists in the Bible. Now if people married many wives back then, then how come it's illegal now? Because morality says it's the right thing to do, not the Bible. You see, we CAN function just fine WITHOUT some imaginary being telling us how to live our lives. People are naturally moral and ethical and want to do the "right thing" all on their own.