I'm having a BABY!

So your knocked up and having a kid. You know what I say, big frickin' deal. So are a billion other people. You know what I wish, I wish that before you had a baby, or before you conceived a baby, or before you even unzipped your pants, you would be forced to sign a public knowledge release on all the crap that can go wrong after you say "Oh God, Oh God, OH GOD!!!"

Since no one out there has been honest enough to tell everyone about the odds of crap going wrong with the whole "having a baby" thing, I shall list some of them off for you. You might think twice before sending the "one eyed wonder worm" into battle without a helmet after this.

Odds of having twins - 3 in 100

Odds of a breech baby - head not coming out first causing complications - 3 in 100

Odd of having a stillborn baby - 1 in 105

Odds of having a premature baby - 3 in 100

Odds of having down syndrome - 1 in 900

Odds of having heart or circulation complications - 1 in 115

Odds of a cesarean birth - about 1 in 3

Odds of it growing up stupid - about 1 in 2 (OK, I made this one up!)

In an average week in the United States:

•	79,584 babies are born.

•	10,056 babies are born preterm.

•	6,511 babies are born low birthweight.

•	536 babies die before reaching their first birthday.

I know there is a lot more information on the odds of crap going wrong with having a baby, I'm just having a damn hard time finding it out there. I'm a little disappointed I didn't find exactly what I was looking for. So take these few facts in account and if your planning on having a kid, go do some more research on your own. Or better yet, lets get that contract going that you sign saying you understand that a bunch of crap can go wrong when you decide to have a kid.

I guess I'm not trying to promote all doom and gloom, just that it's not all peachy and perfect in the world of childbirth, even with all the technology today. Things can and do go wrong, and this isn't a new car you take back to the shop because it's under warranty, its a HUMAN BEING!! So just think for a moment about the responsibility of having a child that might have a lifelong disease, or be handicapped, or who knows what else. Babies are pretty damn innocent and the odds aren't great, but hey, as long as there are odds, it can, and will happen. Do you still want to roll the dice?


Todays RBV:

Genesis 4:8 And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.


This is just nuts. God created EVERYTHING, including man! But when Adam and Eve had 2 kids, one of them killed the other. Wow, that worked out real well there God!! Good foresight in that plan. You seen all was good and so you rested?? I think maybe you should have put in a few hours of overtime on that seventh day myself.

Honestly, I believe everyone from my Dad's, Dad's, Dad's, Dad's, Dad probably didn't commit murder. But the Bible is saying that the one of the first children on PLANET EARTH killed the other one out of jealousy? What the hell way is this to begin the population of human beings? How F-d up is this story?? Oh yeah, I forgot, IT'S A STORY, not the truth!!

BOOBS

Ahhhh boobs. Such a fun word to say, and a fun word to spell too. Boobs, tits, honkers, melons, boulders, knockers, and funbags, call them what you will. It's just too damn bad that their main reason is for decoration these days.

What am I talking about? I'm talking about all these people today who choose to give their newborn babies formula instead of breast milk. This truly demonstrates just how stupid people are in the world today. Here we have a perfectly natural, (not to mention free) form of feeding babies during some of the most important time in their lives, and you choose to give them man made powder instead. You people have totally lost it, you really have. I honestly think that HUMANS are the only form of life that would be given a "perfect" choice on something, and they choose to do the dumber thing. I just can't imagine any animal doing something this dumb.

And before I go any further, I know there are ALWAYS exceptions to the rule! YES, I know about you 2% of people out there. I'm NOT talking about you so shut up!! And didn't I tell you people to go play with some gasoline or something?

I'm talking about the people who CAN breastfeed and choose not to. How frickin' stupid is this?? "No thanks, I'll pass on giving my child the best nutrients out there and instead pay 25 bucks for a can of man made powder." Did I mention how stupid people are? Has it really set in? Can you find another species out there as stupid as the human race?

And of course this is only the argument of free breast milk VS formula. We are just assuming that both of them are equal in nutrition. Ohhhhhhh, that is so far from the truth. Lets talk about the proven problems you put your child through because you refuse to give them breast milk. Breast feeding provides better protection against infections, they get sick less, they have less allergies, higher IQ's, and on and on. Benefits to the mother who breastfeed. They are fertile longer, decreased chance of breast, uterine, ovarian cancer, decreased osteoporosis, better weight loss after the birth.

Need I say more?? And to think, there are women out there who CHOOSE to give their kids formula for NO OTHER reason than, "That's what I choose!" I forgot if I mentioned how positively, insanely, ridiculously, incredibly, and outrageously stupid people are. STUPID STUPID STUPID BEYOND BELIEF!!!!!! And of course these children they have are the MOST IMPORTANT thing to them on the the face of the earth. BULLSHIT!!! How could you possibly even fathom saying something like that after choosing to put your kid at risk of a whole slew of health problems from feeding them man made powder. Did I ever mention neutering a good sector of the human race might not be a bad idea??

I would wish all these people who make these insane choices all the things that could possibly go wrong to them, but I can't. I can't because the children would suffer, and THEY didn't make this stupid decision, the parents did. And the kids are too damn innocent to ever wish bad upon. The parents however, I hope die a slow painful crippling death that lasts for about 14 years. That should give me some satisfaction that justice was served.

So for all you mothers out there who made the decision to give your baby formula when you were perfectly capable of giving them breast milk, you truly are the definition of the word "BOOBS"!

Todays RBV:

Genesis 38:9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

Did I read this right?? Did Onan just choke his chicken, beat the bishop, whack off .... in front of his brothers wife? You be the judge.