First Ladies

I've always wondered why the 'First Ladies' have always had to have a 'JOB' that they had to claim while their husband was in office? Who the hell invented this? Let's take a look at some of the 'first ladies' over the years and how successful they were at what they did.

Rosalynn Carter - She fought to help people with chronic mental health problems. I don't see the point in this. If these people are smearing peanut butter on their testicles in public to begin with .. I doubt they really care what the fuck anyone thinks of them anyway. Not to mention the biggest cause of mental illness is all the legal DRUGS that we're addicted to, not to mention a heaping helping of American diet!! But I don't see you taking on Pfizer or the USDA ... NOOOO .. can't do that .. they're already in your back pocket!

Nancy Reagan - She had the big 'war on drugs' theme and 'just say NO' thing going on. Yeah .. that really worked. Drugs are basically non-existent in the United States today. The only drugs our government wants us on is LEGAL drugs ... because it makes people RICH!!!! Way to go Nancy!

Barbara Bush - She was fighting to stop all the adult illiteracy in the country. Well, using time as a scale to measure on, we can easily see that people are STUPIDER than ever before!! EPIC FAIL!!

Hillary Clinton - She didn't do SHIT!! She was too busy being president!!

Laura Bush - encouraged reading!! A noble cause I guess. There's a Barnes & Noble yuppy store everywhere you look these days .. I guess you did your job! You might of put a little effort into making sure your husband didn't look like a fucking retard on a daily basis, but then those are some big shoes to fill.

Michelle Obama - fighting to stop childhood obesity. Sorry honey, your fighting a battle that can't be won!! You actually think your a adequate opponent against the likes of McDonalds, Burger King, Dairy Queen, Frito Lay, Coca Cola, Hershey Chocolate, Kelloggs, Kraft Food, Pizza Hut, the dairy industry, constant bombardment of commercials for junk food, and cartoons advertising food ......... meanwhile your holding up a carrot in defense???? YEAH .. good luck sweetie! The only way you can begin to conquer this monster is from inside the home with parents, which pretty much means we're FUCKED!

----------------------------

You know what I'd like to see in the next first lady? Someone who doesn't do a God Damn thing. THAT would be impressive! Someone who just sits on a lawn chair in the back of the white house taking in the suns rays. Someone who says "Fuck you! I'm married to the most powerful man in the world. I don't gotta do SHIT! Now go get Me another margarita!"

I'm just afraid that the next first lady will be named "Todd".