D.D. Lane

In the spirit of New Years Eve and stupid drunks on the road, I would like to propose a similar complaint along the same lines.

We need to add a new lane on all public roadways. The D.D. Lane.

What is the D.D. Lane? It's a lane for .. distracted drivers!

Times have changed and people are dumber than ever on the roadways now-a-days. Drunk drivers are becoming the minority. We need to have a separate lane made for all you idiots out there who find that playing with your electronic gadgets more important than driving!!

This goes for all you dickheads with cellphones, or you intelligent schmucks who like to 'text' your buddies while driving, or surf the internet and email on your God damn phone. Or people with GPS's showing them how to get from their house to the mall that they've lived 10 blocks away from all their life.

All you people need your own lane so you can smash into each other and with any luck, take a major chunk of the gene pool with you.

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So I guess since we don't yet have a DD Lane, here's hoping that many of you will be out bar hopping tonight, getting plastered, and then driving home while watching your GPS unit and talking in slurred speech to your buddies on your cell phones. May luck be on your side and you have a head on with a telephone pole, or a fellow drunken idiot. With every one of you who perishes tonight, know that you have made the road just a wee bit safer for the rest of us. Thank you.