Hints from Heloise

You know who I hate?? Heloise !!

I don't know if you guys even know who She is, but around here we have a little bit in our paper every so often called "Hints from Heloise." People write in with little tips on how to save time during cooking, or how to preserve food, or how to get a stain out. Well, unfortunately, She let's people write in with "tips" of their own, and, well ....... let's just say that it really does show how stupid people really are. I honestly cannot believe that 1. People are this F-ING stupid, and 2. She's dumb enough to let people post the crap they post.

I am truly amazed at the pure stupidity of people and what things they can do that other people find valuable. It actually inspires me to keep writing, because if "Hints From Heloises" makes it big, then my blog should make me a millionaire.

Here's some "hints" that I've read that make me want to put a gun to my temple and rid myself of living with stupid people.

- Baby wipes can also be used to clean your hands. No shit Sherlock

- Use and old coffee can to store small goods in the garage. Brilliant

- Use packing peanuts to keep your valuables from breaking. ISN'T THAT WHAT THE GOD DAMN THINGS ARE FOR ??

- Cut a plastic milk jug just below the handle to make a handy scoop. That's a new one.

- Use yogurt or margarine containers to store small items. Please kill me now.

OH MY GOD, my head is going to explode from the stupidity, I swear it is. But I'll continue anyway.

Here are some things that our brilliant society has written IN to Heloise and She posted them to enlighten us all.

Dear Heloise: I read a hint about using a plastic sandwich bag with the corner cut off to fill deviled eggs. If making eggs for a party, separate some of the mix and add food coloring to it. Using the sandwich bag with a small part of the corner cut off, spell out “happy birthday” or whatever occasion you want, with a letter on each egg. — Thanks for the hint MacGyver

Dear Heloise: With food costs going up and up, here is my money-saving hint for coffee. We drink only one cup each in the morning. My husband gets up first and makes his cup, then I just add another scoop of my coffee in the same filter. It tastes just fine, and we save a little money.
Yup, I was just about in bankruptcy, but this money saving coffee tip has put me back in the Fortune 500.

And finally, I'd like to predict the future on some tips that I personally have not seen, but with the brain capacity of people today, I'm sure will be in print real soon.

Dear Heloise: Sometimes I feel so thirsty I don't know what to do. The other day I was washing dishes and I actually took one of the clean cups and filled it with cold water. I was so refreshed, please tell others.

Dear Heloise: I had some papers that needed to kept together but the fans in the house kept blowing them around. I used a paper clip on them and guess what?? Problem solved.

Dear Heloise: I finally found out how to keep from pissing my pants in public all the time. I started using the bathroom and now I'm dry as can be.


And Heloise is rich !! You know why ?? She's smart ! She is appealing to the BIGGEST audience out there with NO signs of let up - STUPID PEOPLE !!! So in closing, as much as I hate you Heloise, my hat goes off to you for taking advantage of some people that truly need to be taken advantage of, STUPID PEOPLE.


Todays RBV:

Exodus 4:23 And I say unto thee, Let my son go, that he may serve me: and if thou refuse to let him go, behold, I will slay thy son, even thy firstborn.


Way to go God, if the Pharaoh's does not release this person, your going to kill his newborn baby. Wow, just wow. And I thought the "SAW" movies were graphic.