Diseases

I'm sick of all the fake diseases in the world today. Everyone's got some disease, and if you ain't got one ... then wait. Soon the medical field will find one for you and make a pill for it. It's all such bull shit people, any ache or pain isn't an ache or pain these days, it's a disease, or a syndrome. I say let me smack you upside the face with a baseball bat a few dozen times THEN you'll have something to go to the doctor about. He might even diagnose you with Lou Gehrig disease (get it?).

Restless leg syndrome ...... a pill for restless leg syndrome. What in God's name is restless leg syndrome. I think it used to be called a twitch, or a spasm. Now it's a damn disease that you need a pill for. How about that Lunesta crap for getting a full 8 hours rest. I say WORK a little bit and you naturally get tired, THEN your body will appreciate a full nights rest. Sorry, sitting in a cubicle for 8 hours is not included in the "WORK" category.

Irritable bowel syndrome, that sound like a fancy way to say "I got a problem taking a shit." and I'm sure there's a pill for it.

Suck it up people, a little pain is good for you. It puts hair on your chest. And if your a woman, it makes your boobs bigger. Quit whining about anything and everything and deal with it. Stop making other people rich on invented crap that's made up just to benefit the medical field.

A coma, now there's something you might want to see a physician about. How about uncontrollably shitting your pants during church? You may need something for that. Or excessive heart attacks while driving a semi down the freeway, you may need to talk to a nurse about this on. Fractured testicle syndrome, that's another good one. Now THESE are things you may need a pill for!!!

Yup, selling sickness is one profitable business to be in.

I have a few "new" diseases that I would like to introduce to the medical field that might help them create another pill and get even richer.

R.O.S.S. Disease - A very serious disorder. ROSS (Random Organ Shutdown Syndrome) disease causes your body to randomly shut down organs in your body for no specific reason. You may be walking down the street and one of your lungs might quit working for awhile. Or driving down the road and you lower intestine my fail on you. How about running a marathon and your uvula quits on you. Well this is what could happen to you if you don't get a pill for ROSS disease.

Testitch - have you ever had the unstoppable ability to scratch your balls? You may be plagued with testitch disease. See your doctor and ask him if testitch medication is right for you.

Vagismell - Got that not so fresh feeling? Do people avoid you when your walking down the street? Do you find yourself alone in the elevator? You may have vagismell. Ask your doctor if you can get a prescription for vagismell (now available in spray or adhesive strips).

Well I'm starting to cross the line a bit now so I guess I'll quit. Hate to offend anyone .. ha ha ha!


Todays RBV:

Genesis 5:5&8 And all the days that Adam live were nine hundred and thirty years; and he died. And all the days of Seth were nine hundred and twelve years; and he died.


HOLY CRAP 900 years old !!!! AND NO PILLS ??? How did they do it ?