Offensive Jokes

And I mean many of these are TRULY OFFENSIVE jokes! Beware !!

I'm not talking about offending a blond because they're dumb either.



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Are there any black Chinese?

Only after a fire.
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What do a condom and a woman have in common?

If they ain't on your dick, they're in your wallet.
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What's the difference between a black man and a snow tire?

A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.
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What's the worst thing about being a black Jew?

You have to sit in the back of the oven.
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You know what's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

NOT being retarded!
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Why don't you get a wife a watch for her anniversary?

Because there's a clock on the damn stove!
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Why are there so many battered women in the world today?

Because they just don't F-ING listen!!!
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What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table?

A picnic table can support a family of four.
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How do you know when the wife is dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
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If your wife comes out of the kitchen nagging at you to often, what have you done wrong?

Made Her chain to long.
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What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing, and gargling!
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What did Cinderella say when She got to the ball?

Cough, choke, gag .... etc.
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How do you get 3 little old ladies to yell the "F" word?

Have a 4th one yell "Bingo".
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Why can't Jesus eat M&M's?

They keep falling out of the holes in His hands.
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What did the hot dog vendor at the bottom of the WTC say?

Who ordered the 2 jumbos?
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Why did Hitler commit suicide?

He got His gas bill!
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AND FINALLY ... SINCE I'M SO FAR IN THE DUMPSTER ALREADY ........

What's the worst thing about screwing a 5 year old?

Getting the blood off your clown suit!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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For all those that got offended, EAT MY NUTSACK, You were warned. For those of you who just kept on reading, I love ya, your as sick as me!



Todays RBV: Psalms 139:16 You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in your book.


Soooooooo, all the writings I've done in this blog (including today's jokes), were already pre-planned by God before I was even born. So don't blame ME for this stuff!!

Random Humor

I cannot lie, I stole the content below from an email I received and thought it was pretty good. Thanks db. Sorry about the BIG and small text thing, I can't seem to fix it. Enjoy!
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Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately -- illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida ...

.... not me -- I concentrate on solutions for the problems -- it's a win-win situation.

* Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
* Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levees.
* Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border


COWS:

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada, almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.


THE 10 COMMANDMENTS


The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this -- You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal" "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. .... It creates a hostile work environment.




THE CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq .... why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.

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Todays RBV: 2 Chronicles 21:18 And after all this the LORD smote him in his bowels with an incurable disease.

Some of this stuff I couldn't think up on my own if I tried!