Corporate Greed

As part of My observation of people, I decided to interview a few 'shift managers' at work about their career choices. Of course they just seen it as passing conversation, but in reality I was taking mental notes the whole time.

So here's a few things that a typical manager has to put up with now working for 'the man'.

- If they work 40 hours, they get paid 40 hours. (sounds good)

- If they work MORE than 40 hours, they only get paid 40 hours. (Typical salary job, not too smart in My opinion)

*** But here's where it takes a strange twist

- If they work LESS than 40 hours, they only get paid for those hours! (WHAT????)

So if you work 60 hours, you get paid 40, but if you work 20 hours, you only get paid 20??? Who the hell would agree to this kind of work? The answer ... just about anyone!!! And I would ask, "Are you fucking kidding Me??" This is insane!!! Why the hell would anyone agree to this bullshit??

But there's more -

- They just had a meeting and testing out of town. They had to drive a car 4 hours, spend 3 hours at a meeting, then 4 hours back again. And the kicker .... NO PAY!!!!!!!! They just donated 11 hours of their life to "The System" for free!!!!!!! And after a full day of driving and meetings, some had to be to work in another 4 hours!! Holy shit! Is there anything you won't say NO to?? Seriously people .. why the hell do you do this to yourself?? For the money? It can't be the money because I know how much you make, and it ain't worth it!!!

I want to feel sorry for these people, but I can't. It's not like they have a gun to their heads forcing them to do the things they do. They just can't let go of the brand new car (and payments), and the credit cards, and the status symbols for their egos. It's really sad, because it doesn't have to be like this. There is a better way, but as always ... they would rather have sympathy than have a better life.

I'm convinced that climbing the corporate ladder for 'the man' is one colossal mistake, but with this new evidence at just how low an employer will go to screw you over .. well lets just say it has become an 'Iron Clad Law' etched in stone for Me.

I actually thought we had abolished slavery some time ago, but it looks like it's still going strong today in corporate America. The only difference is, today the slaves are volunteers.

Calling the shots

A little bit about My work life (HA!) .. sorry, but it's funny to call it that. And YES, this is a post about My personal life .. but it's to help all of you out there!!

I would never say that work it great, or even good for that matter, but I have found a way to increase the odds in My favor greatly, and the employer just bends over backwards to accommodate Me. Here are some rules that I have for My employer in order to keep Me coming back at least another day.

1. Schedule Me AFTER all the managers go home! - I do NOT want to be here when 5 other managers are here all sticking their nose up in the air thinking their shit don't stink. 9 out of 10 managers suck! Schedule Me with the lowest peons on the totem pole ..they are the REAL workers at any job.

2. If you got problems ... people don't show up, shit gets behind .. whatever. Don't bother calling Me in to work!! -My home phone number is OFF LIMITS to My employer. I don't care if someone quits, I don't care if somethings late .. I don't care. I will come to work when I'm scheduled, but other than that .. I'M BUSY!!!!!!!

3. Don't ask Me if I'm interested in 'climbing the ladder' for the company. - Yes, I do have experience that would allow Me to do something of greater value than the peon job I'm doing, but guess what? I DON'T WANT IT!!! Do NOT ask Me to take over an open position because someone quit .. I have NO interest in it! Find some other sucker to take your amazing opportunity with tons of stress, endless hours, and pathetic salary pay!! I've observed every single one of you 'higher up the ladder' employees. NONE of you look very happy and content to Me.

4. Don't ask Me to go full time. - I already stated which days I'll be here and which days I won't. Don't bother putting Me down for any additional days, because if you do .. I won't be here.

5. If anything of importance comes up ... might be something like a spring play My kids are in, I'm not showing up for work. You may have Me down to work, but I ain't gonna be there .. deal with it. Family first ... work last! I'll be damned if I'm gonna miss important things in life for the worthless excuse of "Sorry ... I have to work!" Life is too short to use the excuse "Sorry .. I have to work!"

6. Don't ask Me to work holidays. I'm not getting holiday pay, so don't even bother asking Me to work them. That would be the job of the full time employees with benefits and vacation and all that crap. As far as I'm concerned, I have all the holidays off. Don't believe Me?? Put Me on the schedule for them and see if I show up.

7. Vacations. I'm not getting a paid vacation, so I'll take one whenever I damn well please! If I feel like taking a couple weeks off this summer. I'll take a couple weeks off. I might just take more vacation than any employee at the company! What the hell do you care? Your not paying Me for it!

8. Don't bother telling Me what to do.- Your half My age, with about 1/10th the experience of Me .. I think I can handle My peon duties without some teenager thinking they're superior over Me.

9. I don't work Mondays. - This is just a little 'quirk' I made up. Mondays are synonymous with the 'first' day of work, or the dreaded 'back to work' depression. I choose to sit back on My couch on Mondays with a cup of Java and watch the rest of the world go to work.

10. If My half hour break tend to bleed over by a few minutes on occasion .. leave Me alone, I'm having deep conversation with another employee on how stupid it is to live a 'normal' life. I'm out to change the world dammit ... one idiot at a time!

11. I reserve the right to make up more rules whenever I feel like it. If you don't like it, fine, there are 50 other jobs right down the road looking for people who actually 'work' when they punch in!

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And here's the real kicker to the whole thing! They listen to everything I say!!! They are HAPPY to accommodate Me! Why?? Because no one wants to work anymore! Everyone is pathetically worthless and lazy today. I actually have a good work ethic! I believe that when a person is at work .. He should actually work!!! So that's what I do, and they are amazed at Me! They think I'm frickin' Superman, but I'm not! I'm just the average, ordinary 'Joe'. It's everyone else that is worthlessly lazy. And the schedule I work is the one where they ALWAYS need the help .. but no one wants to work it, hence, they are tickled pink that I will be happy to show up during that time frame!

So even though I am working, it's nice to be in control. And the only reason I'm working is because I myself even feel guilty about sitting at home while both kids are in school and the wife works (stupid). If I had My way, none of us would be working and I'd be living in a little cabin far up in the mountains somewhere but I gotta bow to the wants of the others in My family (dammit).

But the reason I wrote this is not to brag about My life .. it's a challenge to all of you out there who are a slave to your employer. Sure .. your making more than Me, but at a HUGE cost when it comes to the amount of time, and energy, and stress it puts on your life. And if I haven't proven to you by now just how stupid it is to think you have to make a ton of money to live and be a slave to the system .. then I'll never prove it to you because you don't wanna listen.

So I challenge everyone to grab your employer by the balls and start telling THEM the way it's gonna be from now on. I dare say that at that point .. work ALMOST becomes enjoyable. Good luck!

The snowball

The American way of life is like a big snowball that we create. I'm sure it's like this all over, but I speak of Americans because that is what I know.

People think they need a job. OK, you go and get a job, but it isn't that simple. To have a job you probably need a car. And not just a car, a dependable car. And if your like a lot of yuppies out there, you need a car that also uplifts your image to show off to your fellow co-workers. Now that car takes money. There's gas, and oil changes, and repairs, and insurance. And how about interest on the loan? I doubt many of you own your car outright, how sad. Most people pay 1000's of dollars in interest before they pay off their car. And might I mention that most people have more than one car? So a big chunk of the reason you got a job (money), is now gone so you can have a car to get to work. SMART THINKING!

And what about the schooling it takes to get many jobs? Think of all the money you dumped into your job and the loans you have to pay for .. all to make money? I wonder how you can make money if your money your making is to pay for the money spent for your job?

And then there is clothes. Most jobs you have to dress nice for (well yuppy jobs anyways). If your a banker, or a Realtor, or such, you need to have nice clothes. And not just nice clothes, you have to have many different outfits so it doesn't look like your wearing the same stuff everyday. And these clothes that you have to buy don't come cheap either. So once again, the reason you got a job (money), is sucked up by your clothing upkeep.

And then there is time. So much time is eaten up at work. Take your typical 8 hour shift. If you count getting ready, driving, taking a lunch, and driving back home your 8 hour day easily becomes 10 or more. So about 1/2 your day is now shot. And considering that you sleep 8 hours, your only left with 4 hours to go. Of course you don't have time to raise your kids, so you put your children in daycare. More money down the drain .. all so you can go out and apparently make money.

And with the stress of the job, you can't always deal with making a nice home cooked meal. So you spend 4 times as much ordering in a pizza or some other food which takes ... you guessed it, more money!! Again I say .. all so you can go out and apparently MAKE money!!

Speaking of kids. Since you don't have time to raise them, you feel guilty about not being a good parent. And to fill this gap, you buy them stuff .. all kinds of stuff. Somehow you feel that all this stuff will fill the void of never raising your own kids, but your kids know better. By the way, all that 'stuff' you buy them takes even more money! Just so you can go out and make money!

And if you want to live the 'good life', and take trips now and then, and live in a nice home, and a nice neighborhood, and have all the toys that the Jone's have, you must work even more!! You make more so you can spend more, so you can make more to spend more! What a snowball we live in.

I purpose, (and have many times) that WORK should be the last thing of importance on our list. So many people think having a career is the top priority in their lives. How sad. When you make that your first goal, then everything else falls down the priority list, like your kids, your spouse, your 'living of your life'!! It's important to note that these snowballs you create are not forced upon you, they are the choice YOU make, even though it seems like you have no choice. YOU DO!!

So let's all go to work today and tell our bosses to "Shove it up His ass!" Let's all stay home, raise our family, grow some food, build a fire, and reset the world to the way it should be. Amen.