Facebook Analogy Part 3

Once again I will be analyzing pure stupidity taken directly from the pages of Facebook.

The postings are REAL, the names have been deleted to protect the purely retarded. Enjoy!

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Thank you everyone for the prayers !! My dad is still in ICU, heart rythem is finally normal, oxygen level is better, and he is getting to be a crabby old man!! Gotta love him! We will see what comes in mext few days! Thanks again to all!!!!

Ahhh once again a person who thinks 'prayer' saved someone's ass. You know what? If "prayer" saved your dad's ass, then what the fuck is He doing in ICU??? I don't think ICU holds prayer meetings to heal the sick. In fact, last time I checked it was highly advanced medical science that was in use to save people from the brink of death. Hey ... here's an idea for you. Next time your dad's on the brink of death, take him to church and lay him on the altar and pray about it and see how that works out for you. Dick head!!!!

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--- is snuggled under two blankets and is STILL freezing. I really want to be warm. Yet....I'm craving my chocolate fudge brownie frozen yogurt! That proves it. I'm a walking oxymoron.

Oxymoron? Not quite right. Take off the 'oxy' and I think the description fits much better.

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--- has a very resourceful child. She got VERY quiet, so I went looking for her. I found her in her closet....just standing there, holding a board up to her face. I said, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm playing hide and seek with my Barbies!" :)

1. Remove the board from your childs hands. 2. Whack board against your face until it becomes a softened, bloody, mass of swollen tissue. 3. Don't EVER post stupid ass shit that your precious little wad of sperm is doing again.

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Wow Mariah is going to be 7 months old on the 17th, time sure is going by fast!

Wow, Mariah will be 8 months in another month then. Mariah will be 2 years old in 1 year and 5 months. Mariah will be knocked up in 15 years and 7 months. Mariah will try Her first hit of acid in 14 years and 9 months. Mariah will buy Her first vibrator in 13 years and 2 months. Mariah will get raped by her uncle in 9 years and 6 months and because of it She will become a lesbian. Oh that crazy Mariah.

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Dishwasher going, bathroom cleaned, laundry folded, baby is sleeping and kids are on the bus all before 8:30am......Wow so far so good now I get to sit and have a cup of coffee.

Imagine just how pathetic one must be to post on the internet for everyone to see that for ONE morning of one day .. you actually were a mom. I'm sure the rest of the day consisted of staring at facebook, while texting your friends, and watching reality TV shows that you missed in the last week. Way to go June Cleaver.

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i need 1 nail 6 bricks 2 harnesses and 1 horseshoe thanks

I really have no idea what the fuck all these people are talking about. I'm guessing it's some interactive game on facebook where fucking farm animals is involved. I can only think that the creator of this game is laughing his ass off that all you sheeple are so massively involved in this stupid ass lame attempt to think you have a life.

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thank u for the bday wishes. I have the bestest friends ever!!

You remember that dick wad from "Facebook Analogy Part 2" that posted his birthday was tomorrow? Well here he is under the false assumption that all his friends remembered his birthday.

Note to dick wad : If you have to announce that it's your birthday just to get a bunch of people to give you birthday wishes, then MAYBE your friends aren't quite as good of friends as you might think. Dick wad.

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will be glad when the construction is complete. I have to go to the laundry mat again today :-(. On the plus side though, I can do eight loads of laundry in about two hours!

This is similar to hinting that it's your birthday. Posting some stupid ass shit like 'construction is almost complete'. It's just another lame attempt to FORCE people to ask "Oh .. what construction are you doing?" Then you get to believe that people actually are interested in your life.

And on a different note, do you SERIOUSLY think that it's spelled 'LAUNDRY MAT'???? You really thought that was the correct spelling???? 2 words Laundry and Mat!!!! WOW!!! Is a laundry mat the mat you step on when you go into a laundromat?? I guess this helps prove that the intelligence level has to be low in order to have a facebook account. Thank you for the confirmation on that.

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-- is eating a dark chocolate mocha almond granola bar. For supper. My children will be eating homemade chili with the babysitter. That's Wednesday for ya! :)

Have you ever eaten a dark chocolate mocha almond granola bar and immediately felt the urge to type it out for the world to see? Yeah .. Me either. And it's nice to know that you checked to see what your children will be eating for supper since you care about them so little that your not even going to be home tonight to raise them. What exactly is on the agenda that's more important than being a mom?? Going out to go get more dark chocolate mocha almond granola bars??? Well if you are .. I'm SURE we'll all read about that too!! Pathetic tit!

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“I’ve noticed that everybody that is for abortion has already been born.” ~Ronald Reagan

"Have you ever noticed that most of the people against abortion are women you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?" - George Carlin

And I'll put My George Carlin up against you Ronald Reagan ANY-DAY!!!!

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To celebrate Valentines Day, change your profile picture to you and your spouse/significant other and make sure to tell how long you've been together. Copy and paste this to you profile. --- and I have been together since June ---- *Wedding Anniversary -/-/--*

Let's see, My wife and I have been married almost 18 years and been going together almost 25. I'd say 24 of those years we have had vaginal intercourse, and entertained the idea of anal but just never was able to try it for real. She enjoys oral sex and I love a good blow job. One time she came so much that we actually had to get a new mattress. I masturbate a lot, but oddly enough My loving wife is almost always in My dreams too (how sweet) *wink*!

Is that enough information for you nosy fucks out there in Facebook land??? Why don't you mind your own fucking business and concentrate your efforts on YOUR ACTUAL LIFE .. instead of trying to impress all your cyber dick holes you call friends.

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Well that's a wrap for this time. Don't worry there will be more. It's as easy as shooting fish in a barrel ... check that ... it's as easy as staring at fish in a barrel. Actually, it's as easy as just having a barrel.