Thanks Santa

Thanks a lot Santa, you drunken fat ass!!

All I wanted for Christmas was 3 simple things! Any ONE of which I would have been happy with.

1. Peace and quiet. - Now this could have been accomplished in many ways. My wife and kids could have been in a coma for a few weeks. We could have gotten MORE snow so nobody could make it anywhere so I wouldn't be forced to go visit family every other frickin day. I could have wandered out during the blizzard and magically got lost and had to start My life over by digging a shelter in a field out in the middle of no where.

Instead I have 2 kids strung up on adrenaline and sugar, family in town with a billion kids screaming and yelling, and other relatives who INSIST that I come visit! Is it that hard to ask to want to be alone ... just Me and the dog, and NOTHING ELSE??? SHIT!!

2. A bigger penis. And it doesn't take a hell-of-a-lot of effort to see that by just looking down, I'm stuck with the same old shriveled up tube of skin that I've always had.

3. A bag of weed.

-----------------

So in closing, thank you so much Santa .. Your the best. May your fat ass fall out of the sleigh when your 10 miles up and have an untimely death!!!