Deer Hunting

Well deer hunting is again upon us for a couple of weeks.

When this time of year comes around, I like to turn the tides in favor of the deer as much as possible. Today I spent a great deal of time out in My Quonset with the boom box blaring while I worked on trying to get a louder than hell 2 cycle tiller engine running smooth. It seems to have some carburetor issues, so I had to start it up and rev it a lot to try and get the idle adjusted properly. As luck would have it, I didn't get it set right today, so I'll have to spend tomorrow out there again.

It seems as if God is also against a bunch of inbreed cowboys driving their 4X4's through farmers fields with high powered rifles as the weather outside is delightful! Yesterday was a incredible 64 degrees and today was in the 50's. The next 10 day outlook also looks bleak for the wanna-be dipshits as temps will be way above average for this time of year. For those of you who don't know, when a deer is killed, it has to be gutted and hung (usually in a garage) for several days, and with the temperatures as high as they are, all the meat goes rotten, therefore making it useless to kill them.

So for the next 2 weeks, I get to enjoy endless 1980 style pickups driving by My home, with 2 or 3 orange vested assholes inside on a quest to go out on someones private property in the hopes of killing an innocent, (and passive I might add) animal that has done NOTHING to them. And with any luck, they'll get to kill one, then butcher it, and mix it with a ton of spices and regular ground beef to kill the gamy taste. Yeah .. that's right, most deer meat does NOT get eaten straight out. You have to mix it up with other meat to make it edible. It makes so much sense doesn't it?

The highlights for Me with deer season is watching the papers everyday, waiting to see the news that one stupid drunk asshole accidentally shot another one! Ohhhh the joy! That almost makes the season worth it to Me. Nothing I love more than 2 forms of supposed higher intelligence going out to kill a non-threatening animal, and end up wiping each OTHER out!

So to all you deer hunters in My immediate area, be warned. Since I'm still not gainfully employed, I will make an extra effort to be out each and every day, cranking up the tunes, starting various loud engines, shooting leftover fireworks, and whatever else I feel like doing just to make the scale of justice a wee bit more balanced. Fuck off, and may the next thing you hit be your inbreed cousin. Amen.