Christianity

The belief that a cosmic jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so that he can remove from your soul an evil force that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Yeah, that's a bit harsh, I know ... but it really gets the point across doesn't it??

Let's take apart a bit and see how "far fetched" it really is.

-Cosmic jewish zombie: Well your talking to someone who resides somewhere above us in the sky, in fact He's everywhere out there, I'd say that's cosmic. And we all know Jesus was a Jew, that's all He talks about, His chosen people. And zombie, well He did rise from the dead, and was seen walking about earth for awhile after his death so I'd call that a definition of a zombie.

Was His own father who can make you live forever: Yup, Jesus is the son on God, but yet, they were one in the same person somehow. And if you worship Him, you'll reign forever and ever in Heaven.

Eat His flesh and telepathically accept Him as your master: Not only eat His flesh, but drink His blood. I'm still trying to forget all the trips I made up to the front of the church to eat a bread wafer and some grape juice. And yes, you DO need to bow down and get on your knees and accept Him as your personal savior or you won't be SAVED!

Remove evil forces that exist in humanity: Yes, it's called sin. And only Jesus can wash away our sins. Do whatever you want, but don't forget to ask for forgiveness and your slate is clean again.
Rib woman, talking snake, magical tree: And yes, all these are true too. Eve was made from Adams rib, because He was lonely. And the snake was Satan, who talked to them and convinced them to eat off the tree. And the tree certainly did magic as after that moment .. sin was created!



So as you can see, the starting paragraph of this blog seems a bit harsh and blunt, but the sad part is, it's really true to the word. So the next time someone ask you if you believe in God, just memorize that paragraph above and recite that to them and watch the expression on their face. I happen to like that paragraph as it makes people THINK, does this make sense? And as you know, "people thinking" seems to be on the decline these days. AMEN.

Don't forget to grab a friend and have them spade or neutered to control the stupid population.


Todays RBV:

Leviticus 20:18 And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people.

All right all you sick twisted people out there, no humping while she's on the rag!!!