Screw Evolution!

No .... not screw evolution!! The evolution of screws!!


So I went to the hardware store the other day, and to my amazement, I could not find a simple phillips head screw! What the hell's with that? Apparently in my absence of a few years of needing this particular item, the screw has evolved into many new species of screws that are better than ever.

Let's take a look at the evolution of screws.

In the late 1700's the first species of screws was born into existence, it was the slotted head screw also known as (pain-in-the-assiss) in latin.

In 1908, the square drive screw, (won't-slip-at-allus) in Latin, evolved and became dominant over North America.

In 1930, the phillips head screw, (works-just-finus) in Latin, came into existence and has since become the standard for screws.

Since then the slotted screw or pain-in-the-assis, has become all but extinct, and through rapid inbreeding and mutation, there have evolved a bunch of different worthless species of screws to make it impossible to ever find the right screwdriver when you want to do a project.

We now have,

-the slotted screw
-the cross head screw
-the Pozidriv screw
-the square screw
-the hexagon screw
-the Robertson screw
-the star screw
-the Tri-Wing screws

And many more mutations of the ones above.

I say, quit SCREWING with me and give me back my old Phillips head screw and leave me alone. I mean what the hell difference does it make if there are 2 slots or 12 slots in the damn screw? As long as there isn't just ONE, it's a big improvement. Quit trying to reinvent the damn wheel and leave "well enough" alone for Christ sakes! As you know, with every different screw out there, you'll need a screwdriver to go with it. How frickin' stupid is this?

What if all the railroads decided that they all needed different sized tracks to run on? We'd be kinda "SCREWED", don't you think? Well it's the same thing here, on a much smaller scale. The phillips head has always worked just fine! I don't give a crap if a hexagon bit can take 5 extra torque lbs of pressure, let me be with phillips head and quit trying to piss me off.



Todays RBV:

Genesis 1:29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.


Now this is just damn confusing. Are we supposed to eat ONLY fruits, because Jesus ate plenty of meat when He was around. Or are we supposed to start calling peanuts "meat"?