State of Les

New summer address

2010-03-28T06:35:00.002-05:00

Welcome to the State Of Les blog. Here you will find almost 500 interesting topics to browse through, but you won't find anything newly updated.

I have switched over to YouTube for the time being. I should be back when the snow falls again.

Please feel free to come visit Me and My demented ideas at:

http://www.youtube.com/user/coopersnoop

Thank you.

The End ??

2010-03-27T06:10:00.003-05:00

Well it's that time of year. Time to get outside and start having some fun.

Which means the daily blogs are done until winter shows up again. I'm not sure how often I'll be typing on here, but I might pop in now and then if something important comes up that I feel the need to bitch about.

In the meantime, you may want to check out My You-Tube page. Yes, I started a You-Tube page and I am currently up-loading videos that are mainly .. uhmmm .. retarded. Oh well. I also have a couple of video-themes in mind that hopefully will be somewhat entertaining.

1. The haunting series. - a fictitious account of a man who is haunted by the spirit world and rubber bands (of all things).

2. What's left? - burning random things to find out what remains after 2000 degrees of heat is applied.

3. Simple life - The conversion of a corner of My quonset into a perfectly comfortable living quarters, all off-the-grid.

4. Random retardedness of who knows what else I come up with.

5. Human stupidity - most filming will be done at the local Walmart I imagine.

Here is the link. All My uploads will be posted on the right hand side. Don't forget to comment and rate the videos (I guess this is important).

http://www.youtube.com/user/coopersnoop

Have a great summer, and I'll hopefully see you on the 'video side' !!!

The hottest woman in the world.

2010-03-26T06:18:00.006-05:00

Meet Amanda Holden. I would say she is bar-none the most gorgeous woman in the world. I caught a glimpse of her one day on YouTube and have been salivating ever since. She is the Christy Brinkley of 20 years ago. I don't know of anything this woman could do to Me that I would refuse .. she's that HOT!!!!!

She is (or was) one of the judges on 'Britain's Got Talent' (the overseas version of American Idol). If you check her out on Youtube I'm sure you'll fall in love with her too. That's about all I know about her ... other than I have about a one in a billion chance of having her know I exist. Oh yeah, and I'm happily married too, forgot about that!

She has the amazing ability to look hot, elegant, sophisticated, slutty, proper, and sexy. And she's got that cute British accent too. If there were 72 of HER waiting for Me after I strapped a bunch of dynamite to My chest and blew up a village ... I think even I would even convert to Islam!!!

DAMN TAXES

2010-03-25T06:10:00.005-05:00

Well it's that time of year again, the time when everyone in America is jumping for joy that they're getting a huge tax refund back!!!!

WHOO HOO !!!!!!! I'M GETTING A BUNCH OF MONEY BACK THAT WAS MINE TO BEGIN WITH BUT I GAVE IT TO THE GOVERNMENT FOR A YEAR SO THEY COULD GAIN INTEREST ON IT INSTEAD OF GETTING THE INTEREST MYSELF BECAUSE THEY ARE SO FISCALLY RESPONSIBLE TO BEGIN WITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You people are all fucking retarded ... you know that don't you??

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But I wrote about all this last year! So why do I bring it up again?? Because I have fallen into the category of the typical American getting a REFUND!!!! DAMMIT!

Since we live so poorly, and at or below poverty, and the government has this thing called 'tax credits' for poor people .. I am now getting a refund that is NOT MINE!!!

WHY IS THIS SO DAMN DIFFICULT??? WHY CAN'T I NOT PAY IN TAXES, AND IN RETURN NOT GET ANYTHING BACK???? The government is fucking up My brilliant idea of living poorly 'On purpose' !!!!

The basic idea is, I think the government does a absolutely horrible job with spending money responsibly, so I don't want to pay taxes until they get their shit together (which is never). In return, I don't want any money from them either !!!!!!!! I don't want food stamps, heating assistance, or TAX BREAKS !!!!!!!!

Now I admit, I'm an idiot when it comes to the tax laws, I don't have a clue how they work. But isn't there a way to just 'check a box' that says 'no thanks' to tax breaks for the poor??? I mean .. I'm doing this ON PURPOSE!!!!!! It's not like we can't go out and make a bunch of money like other people, we are just choosing not to!!

In case you don't know My views, I'm not anti-government at all. Government is crucial to maintain balance and order in a society. But our government is out of control, and incredibly wasteful. And My personal breaking point was when they spent OUR hard earned money bailing out Wall Street!! When Wall Street fucks over the whole world with their lies and bullshit, and then gets bailed out and forgiven for it ... well, let's just say I've had enough!! But why am I going into these details?? It's not like a huge chunk of Americans aren't pissed off and having tea parties about this already.

I'm all for paying taxes on gas for roads, property taxes for schools, city taxes to pay our public service people to protect us. But this 'nation building', and killing our kids overseas for oil campaign, and the bailouts ........ FUCK NO! Actually - FUCK NO TIMES 10!!! (how's that!)

So in conclusion, My plan to live a more simple life, and to make an income that the government deems 'poverty' was going along great until I hit this little snag. I don't understand why I can't just automatically NOT get any handouts, but I guess I have another year to figure this out so it don't happen again. The only solution I have for this year is to think about the money I'm getting back and say it's REVENGE for the days when I did make good money and the government used it to 'ATTACK THE WRONG COUNTRY' in the war against 9-11, and in the process get the entire world to hate us!!!!!!!!! Yeah, when I think about it that way it's not so bad.

So in My quest to live a different lifestyle, and prove that it's the right thing ... I never said it would go perfectly. It's obvious that there would be some bumps along the way, and I guess getting money back would be considered a 'good bump' !!! But it's just frustrating that when you don't pay any money in ... your obligated to get money back. That's NOT what My plan was, and hopefully next year I'll find out how to legally 'just say no' without raising some flags with the IRS and causing a big audit or something.

And in closing, I felt obligated to let you all know about this as I would be quite a hypocrite spouting how I live they way I do, only to find out that I got a refund after all. Believe Me, it was not planned, or even welcomed for that matter!!! But at least I'm honest, which is more than I can say for the Wall Street cocksuckers that broke this country to begin with. Amen.

Cyborgs

2010-03-24T06:21:00.002-05:00

Here's a whole group of people that I wouldn't mind jumping off a cliff to an untimely death.

These morons who walk around with a blue-tooth earpiece in their ear appearing to talk to themselves. You people are some of the most retarded people I've seen.

What exactly is the goal here? To free up your hands so it's not so difficult to grab a gallon of milk in the grocery store? So you can jerk off with both hands while you call 1-900 numbers?

You people look like a bunch of morons!!!!!! Walking around talking to yourself. Do you really think your that important? And then, when your NOT talking on the phone, you look like you have an over sized hearing aid in your ear. Not to mention it's rude! Walking around looking like your talking to people, but actually your just chatting with your spouse deciding if they wanted regular Pepsi or diet Pepsi ... yeah, that's important. Thank God you bought a $50.00 headset for that!!! And then when your at the check out, the poor clerk doesn't have a clue if your talking to her, or your electronic gizmo in your pants, and your stupid enough to attempt to have a conversation with BOTH OF THEM!!!!!!!

I used to think that if a lone person came up to Me talking, He might be directing his voice at Me. But now I don't know what the hell to think. I guess I'm forced to once again tune out more people in My life. You people should have to wear a big red light on your head that flashes every time your phone is on, then the rest of us would know that your walking around in la-la land chatting with someone.

And what about the brain tumors!!!!!! They linked cell phone usage with brain tumors now!! Just how in the hell are you going to get a brain tumor if the damn phone isn't even up to your ear anymore?? I was counting on this to be the 'blessing in disguise', but now that's shot to hell too. Oh well, I guess testicle cancer will be just fine too.

So soon we'll just have a whole world of people walking around appearing to be talking to themselves, while ignoring everybody that's right next to them. Yeah ...... that's normal.

Which reminds Me to start building that 10 foot wall around the perimeter of the 'State of Les' real soon.

ConfusLes

2010-03-23T06:11:00.002-05:00

ConfusLes think people who get killed by tsunamis and people who get killed by trains must share the same gene pool, since both are very difficult to not see coming.

Health Care Passes Vote

2010-03-23T06:00:00.004-05:00

Well here's My take on the health care debate.

Universal health care can probably be a good thing. Other countries have been doing it for years and have had great success. The problem lies with our government and the incredible success rate they have of fucking things up. We have such massive bureaucracy in every damn thing that it takes 2 years to swim through all the bullshit just to get something completed, and by that time, it's usually too late. If you don't believe Me, go "Google" new world trade center and take a look at the tower that's there to replace the old ones. That's right, 8 1/2 years later and there STILL isn't one built! That's not the United States I remember!!! The United States I remember would have built a new tower in 6 months after the bombing as a message of 'FUCK YOU' to the terrorists. But 8 1/2 years later, it's still in bullshit land with all the politicians. Nice work people.

Not to mention the core principles of health care. It really doesn't make sense that companies should profit on other peoples sickness. That alone just doesn't make much sense. So we got the American fat diet getting rich off us selling shit food, then we got the medical companies getting rich selling us pills because of the many consequences of eating the American diet. Hmmmmmm. But, bottom line .. people have to be stupid enough to eat crap on a daily basis to begin with. No one has a gun to anyone's head saying "HERE, eat this triple cheeseburger with bacon."

Or the fact that this country is a wee bit broke. I can understand Obama wanting to take on a major project while He's president, but under the circumstances I think if He just balanced the budget He would be a national hero. We sure as hell don't need any new projects to undergo during this time of massive deficits. If I were Him, I would have made a public speech that said, "I HAD a dream of national health care, but considering the reality of where this country is sitting financially, the plans have unfortunately changed and I must focus on getting rid of the massive debt snowball we are living in .. end of story!" But He's got his ego to fill, so here comes more spending on the way. I know, I know ... it's gonna SAVE money. BULLSHIT!!!! When has the government ever done something to save money?? They are the least financially responsible structure in the history of EVER!!!

Maybe I'm wrong about this outlook .. hell, I HOPE I am! But going by the track record of the results in the past, it seems unlikely.
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And on a final note, I am very disappointed in Myself. I used to not care about world happenings. I never cared about what's 'in the news', and now I find Myself looking at news stories once again. It is on the internet, and not on TV, so I must give Myself some credit. I still won't turn on the boob-tube to this day. I admit, this gets worse in the winter months since it's usually minus 20 degrees outside, but that's still no excuse. There was a time not long ago that nuclear missiles could have been flying around the world, but as long as they didn't land on My property, I didn't give a shit. I guess being retired and living in frozen tundra land does have it's disadvantages as I will always find something to keep the mind busy. It's just that caring about what the rest of the world is doing is a terrible choice as people are idiots. I long for the days when all I care about is a little patch of land called the "State Of Les" again.

Work quiz

2010-03-22T06:29:00.002-05:00

The other day at work I did another little experiment. We all had to take some stupid test on the computer about proper lifting procedures and crap. But on one of the screens there was a picture of the human spine, including the tailbone. So I asked My manager if she knew why we have a tailbone, and she didn't have a clue. I told her it's what's leftover from the days when we had a tail. She gave Me the strangest look. Then I asked her if she believed in evolution or that we came from Adam and Eve, and she said she had no idea.

So this kicked off My project for the night. To ask everyone about this picture on the computer screen, and get their answers on why we have a tailbone, if we evolved from apes or if they think we came from the biblical story.

The correct answer is the tailbone is what's left from the days when we had an actual tail. Our tailbone serves NO practical purpose at all, in fact it's kind of a pain in the ass (pun intended). It's just a useless vestigial organ that our DNA has basically turn off the switch for 'making a tail'. And YES .. there is a mountain of evidence supporting this claim!! Let's just say that around 97% of all the scientist in the world agree!

So as the night progressed I ended up asking everyone the same questions, and was amazed at the results.

- 1 person out of 8 got the answer right. Her answer was "Because we used to have a tail???" Her tone was very uncertain and she gave the answer in sort of a questioning form. But I gave her credit for it so at least one person got it right.

- Do you believe in evolution. Again, 1 out of 8 people said they did. 4 said they didn't have a clue, and the other 3 said we came from Adam and Eve.

And one person actually threatened Me!! She was highly pissed that I dare say that she came from a monkey!!!! Her exact words were, "Don't you dare say that I came from some fucking monkey! I ain't no fucking monkey!! And I didn't come from no fucking caveman either! I came from Adam and Eve, and people can fuck off if you they think otherwise!!!!" WOW ..... such nice christian language I thought. Needless to say I had to back-pedal a bit and assure Her that she was right and that most Americans think the same way so she was in good company!

But in reality, this whole test was a little scary for Me. I've seen the statistics on the internet, but it's much more frightening to see it in real life. To know that most Americans don't have a clue about evolution but I bet they can tell you who's sleeping with Brad Pitt! I mean a few of these people are in college!!! I would have hoped that at least college would be teaching the scientific facts! It was either the fact that they had NO idea about it, or the violence that came with it that really made Me see how people can be stuck in a rut about bigger ideas in life. Our lack of knowledge is really scary, and YES .. this was Me a few years ago too, I'm no better!

The next thing I'd like to do is ask everyone about the "Noah's Ark" story, and if they believe it's true or not. This should prove to be incredibly difficult since most of the people at work are onto Me and know that I'm not asking this stuff out of just everyday conversation. Might I say that My 'study group' has reach it's breaking point. Might be time to get a new job!!

So from My little miniature study on people, it's sad to say that the next generation is probably not going to be any better than what we have today. And the decline of America seems to be inevitable. So I guess the rest of the world will continue to kick our ass when it come to forging ahead with science and knowledge, meanwhile our country will believe that we all came from MAGIC, and in a few years Sarah Palin will lead us all to Armageddon.

Yeah ...... the future looks bleak.

In the news : Home Schooling

2010-03-21T06:05:00.004-05:00

"Top home-school texts dismiss Darwin, evolution."

Christian-based materials dominate a growing home-school education market that encompasses more than 1.5 million students in the U.S. And for most home-school parents, a Bible-based version of the Earth's creation is exactly what they want. Federal statistics from 2007 show 83 percent of home-schooling parents want to give their children "religious or moral instruction."

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That's just fucking great! What a bunch of ignorant, worthless, stupid, inbreed assholes!!!

My loving wife pointed this article out to Me in our local newspaper because She thought I'd be interested in it. She was right! When she told Me that the article was about home school textbooks don't have evolution in them, I made a guess and said "Because most home school parents are Christians!!" As it turns out ... I was right.

This is really a double edge sword for Me. On one hand I applaud these mothers on taking on the task of home schooling their children ... it's a massive job!! I personally think that for the first few years if a child is home schooled, then moves on to public school later, that's not such a bad idea. Nor do I have any problems with kids just going to public school too. But on the other hand, Christians make up a huge part of home school parents, and they also have a lot of power to influence home school curriculum (like books)!! Next thing you know, they throw out evolution since it goes against their theory of 'MAGIC'!! Oops, too late .. they've already done that!!!

What's next christian parents?? Are you gonna stop teaching the theory of gravity and tell you kids God put 'magic velcro' on everything to stop things from falling upward?? Or nix the idea of the germ theory, and instead tell your kids that when people get sick it's just Satan inside of you and prayer and a exorcist are the answer?

So My hats go off to you proud christian parents out there. Thank you so much for 'dumbing down' the future of our world. Maybe in another 30 years we can still base our most qualified president as the one who has the most faith in Jesus Christ like we did with George Bush. You people have NO idea how much damage you are doing, because your too ignorant to see the light .. the REAL LIGHT called reality!! Oh yeah, and thank you for making yet another thing in the world just something for Me to be pissed off at! PRICKS!

N.M.D.

2010-03-20T06:06:00.001-05:00

N.M.D. - National Masturbation Day

This is an idea that I would love to have 'cum' over the globe in the near future.

Think about it! One of the biggest problems in the world today stems from 'penis entering vagina' syndrome! This could be easily alleviated by a simple 'flick of the wrist' (so to speak). We need to get together and take a STAND, UNITE, ... and let our voices be heard !!! And tell the world that it's OK TO CHOKE YOUR CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!!

Not to mention it would be another day off of work!! A national holiday .. hell, a global holiday!!! One day a year we could guarantee that all the people of the world would be home 'double clicking their mouse' or 'spanking the one eyed wonder worm'. Yes one day a year it would be nice to know that your mailman, your peace officers, your Walmart clerk ... everybody is at home 'beating the bishop'. And at work from now on, we would no longer have 'smoke breaks', but instead we would have 'jerk breaks'. Think of the increase in production if all the stress and tension disappears!!!!!!

This concept could end all the stress in the world. It could end all the WARS in the world!!! I mean think about it. If everyone jerked off on the same day, what would they be like the NEXT day at work?? No stress, no hormone buildup, no semen backup!! Everyone would just be relaxed and peaceful and happy. Even the Islamic extremists would be so happy to finally have 30 years of backed up baby batter pressure off their minds, they wouldn't feel like strapping bomb to themselves and blowing up a small village.

Did you know that in the middle east they actually force women to cut off their clitoris to keep them from getting sexual aroused? And the men just let the pressure build up until they eventually fly planes into skyscrapers!! ALL IN THE NAME OF GOD!!!! What the fuck kind of solution is this?? Who the hell put these boneheads in charge??? Jesus H. Christ !!! Take 5 minutes in a restroom stall and 'clean the pipes' ....... you'll get the same results and be a lot happier!!!

And another thing, for at least one day of the year nine months later, we will drastically cut down the number of BIRTHS there are in the world!!! Yeah, it ain't much of a dent, but it's a start!! If N.M.D. goes over well, we could increase it to 2 times a year, then once a month, then once a week!!! Hell if all goes well, the whole world could eventually masturbate as much as I do!!! (OK, that might have been a bit too much information, but you get the idea).

This could help boost the economy also as the sales of Kleenex, Charmin, and Bounty would certainly be on the rise. Not to mention I'm sure we'd see an increase in the sales of lotion and hand cream too.

If masturbation was a part of our morning ritual (like brushing our teeth), then one day 2 kids wouldn't want to fight each other at school, and a serial rapist wouldn't have the urge to stalk some chic and kill her one night, then our democrats wouldn't feel like fighting the republicans, then the Crypts wouldn't feel like murdering the Bloods, then North Korea wouldn't feel like fighting South Korea, then India wouldn't feel like nuking Pakistan!!!! I HAVE A DREAM!!!!!!!!

So lets all start a march to the very doorsteps of Washington and break down the White House door and tell President Obama that we need a National Masturbation Day written into our constitution!! It's just a damn good idea!

500

2010-03-19T06:07:00.006-05:00

Believe it or not, I am approaching 500 blogs ! Holy shit! Who'da thunk it?

I think I have My own bible now. Hell the bible only has 66 books in it, mine has 500 (and makes a lot more sense!).

So 500 blogs written over the period of around 1 1/2 years (including some time off). And with that comes maybe 5 die-hard fans, possibly 5 more random viewers that pop in every now and then, and the occasional random hits I get on a 'google search'. Yeah .. not real impressive. I've had over 1000 different people out there come to My sight, with way under 1% ever coming back again. I'd say it's safe to say that My commentary on life is not widely accepted among the masses. And yet some dumb ass out there writes that her kid just took a shit, or that her baby just had her first tooth, or that she's sewing a quilt ..... and she gets 100 hits a day!!! Yeah, needless to say I REALLY don't understand people in the world today.

What would cause a man to continue on such a obvious failed attempt at becoming a internet superstar??? Well, perhaps that I never wanted to become a internet superstar. I have bumped into and worked with many people since I've started writing this demented garbage, and I didn't tell a single person about it. Perhaps it's because that My biggest fan is ME! I enjoy flipping back through stuff I wrote and re-learning about stuff that I can't remember. And I have a great ability for not remembering shit like I used to, so it kinda comes in handy.

So anyway, now that spring is near and it's time to 'get a life' and come out of hibernation and start spending mass quantities of time outside, I'll probably take a break again. But winter is just a short time away again and I'll probably return to bitching about human stupidity again when the snow starts falling again.

In the meantime, I do have another outlet I'd like to pursue. I'm going to be heading over to 'You Tube' for the summer months. I have some ideas on filming some human stupidity in action that should prove to be entertaining. And I have an idea for a segment I think I'm going to call "What's Left?". I don't want to go into any great detail, but lets just say it involves a video camera, a high powered propane flame, and some random everyday objects that are just taking up space. And again, I won't be doing this to get 1000 hits a day. I'm doing it for the hell of it! I'm doing it because it's fun! I'm doing it because it's interesting! I'm doing it because the 'typical' lifestyle just doesn't appeal to Me, and I get bored very easily with the thought of waking up, showering, shitting, going to work for a huge chunk of My life, coming home, sleeping and REPEAT!! And I'm doing it because I'm retarded. It doesn't matter ... I'm doing it!!

**NOTE** - you may already be aware of some Youtube activities by now. If not, here is the link : http://www.youtube.com/user/coopersnoop
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So now that I'm coming up on 500 blogs, I feel I should put this all in print and sell it at Barnes & Noble or something. Maybe it could be the gift of the year 2010! At the very least, I should edit My blogs down and create a book called "101 reasons that people are fucking stupid!!" How about I kick Ann Landers off and take over? I think I'd make a good daily advice column .. don't you?

The asteroid belt.

2010-03-18T06:33:00.001-05:00

So we've been to Mars, very impressive indeed. Next up is Jupiter, but there is a slight obstacle called the asteroid belt in the way. Actually we've already had unmanned space craft fly through it and nothing hit it, but that asteroid belt is still cool to talk about, hence today's blog.

The asteroid belt lies between the orbits of Mars and Jupiter. While it's impressive to see a huge belt of rocks all floating around an orbit in our solar system, it is estimated that if you took all those rocks and combined them together, they wouldn't even come close to the size of our moon. Just a little pocket of space dust on the grand scheme of things.

The largest known asteroid in the asteroid belt is nearly 600 miles in diameter, it's basically called a dwarf planet. I'd say if that thing ever decided to hurl toward the earth we'd be slightly fucked.

It is believed that the asteroid belt is basically just a bunch or rocks that never quite made it to becoming part of a planet when our solar system was born. Not enough gravitational pull, not in the right orbit ... basically not in the right place at the right time. Our solar system was born in the area of this asteroid belt, in fact everything inside the belt is called the inner solar system, and everything outside the belt is called the outer solar system.

Here's an interesting asteroid factoid : The biggest asteroid to hit the Earth this century was in Siberia on June 30, 1908. The rock was about 100,000 tons and the size of a large house. It shattered in the air, while about four miles from the ground, creating an explosion 2,000 times stronger than an atomic bomb! It demolished thousands of square miles of forestation.

I guess one day two large asteroids could collide, sending one of them spiraling on a direct path to earth and wipe us out of existence. But since Mars and Jupiter are closer than we are, and they are both still around, I'd say it's safe to assume that when I wake up tomorrow, we'll all still be here.

Since I'm talking about asteroids .... HERE is a cool game that I've spent countless hours playing back in the good old days. High-tech electronic entertainment to say the least.

Facebook Analogy Part 8

2010-03-17T06:25:00.003-05:00

Stupid postings ... smart ass replies.

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Yes, its been 9 years. Some good days. Some bad. Still my favorite place in the world is cuddled up with him.

Ahhhwwww ... how SWEET IS THAT?? Next time it's his birthday, why don't you make a wish and blow him?!? And I'm guessing NOBODY remembered your anniversary either since you had to post it on Facebook just to get some attention!

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God has sent many blessing my way today, I'm not sure I could explain it better than that! =0)

This is just wrong on so many levels. This lady wants to give thanks to God for all the stuff that SHE'S ACCOMPLISHED in her life lately!!! Why don't you give YOURSELF some credit for all the college you've taken, and the pursuing of the job you wanted? It's just to damn bad that college didn't teach you the difference between mythology and reality!

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•.¸¸¸.•*¨*•Put ? this ? on ? your ? status ? if ? you ? have ? the ? most ? beautiful ? DAUGHTER ? in the ? world•*¨*•.¸¸¸.•*¨*••*¨*Love you ------

Ahhhhh shit!!!!! You beat Me to it!! And YOU have the most beautiful daughter in the world now!!! God Dammit!! Mine is just an ugly sack of shit now!! My daughter will certainly become a crack whore and pregnant doing interviews on the Maury Povich show! Why don't I just kill Myself and My daughter and get it over with??

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Today is the International Day for the Fight Against Cancer... In memory of those who lost the battle against cancer, and those who continue fighting. I pray for a cure. 92% of you won't copy & paste this text to their Facebook profile status, will you? I DID, for those I care for. Proud to be part of the 8%!

And just what contributions are you and the other 8% of the think-tank doing to help out with cancer anyway? Is it the fact that your praying about it? Or wishing it wasn't so? (which is about the same as praying by the way). If cancer is so bad, why did YOUR GOD invent it?? Seems kinda fucked up to Me!! So go ahead .. be the PROUD 8% that did NOTHING to improve the odds to cure cancer ... I'll stick with the other 92% who actually believe that physical work is needed to cure a disease. You should be EMBARRASSED to be in the 8% category.

And by the way .. cancer has been around for like 4000 years ... I think we can rule out PRAYER as an option that DOESN'T WORK!!! Dumb bitch!!

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------- has requested that I take them ice skating today. I took ----- ice skating once about four years ago. Other than that, I have not skated in about 20-25 years. We will be going to the little outdoor rink in the middle of town.....thank goodness it's a *small* town! ;-) (I wonder if I should strap a pillow to my backside?)

As long as you DON'T wear any head protection, I really don't see any harm that can become of it. Enjoy .. and play hard!!

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is very frustrated right now ergh........

*WARNING* - lame attempt to get people to pay attention to this persons pathetic needs.

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----- is proud. ------ is representing her class today at the county spelling bee. Good luck!

Wow .. a student who can spell, that's really shocking news. Why don't you just be happy that your kid was born with 10 fingers and 10 toes and spare the rest of us all the bragging about stupid shit!?!

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Is spendind time with ----- mom, dad and grandma! What a great night! God is so good! Thank you God for the blessings

Seriously!??!! Is there ANYTHING that you DON'T give God PRAISE FOR??? Thanking God for spending time with someone ... like that wasn't YOUR choice to do that or anything. You had a good time with relatives and your only response is "God is so good!" What a fucking delusionoid you are! Do you do this at home when a nice healthy 12 inch turd slides quietly into the bowl without splashing? "AHHHHHHHHHHH .... GOD IS SOOOOOOO GOOD!!!" We need to find all the people like you and have a public hanging in the town square one day!!

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Until the whole world hears.. Lord we are crying out!

Believe Me ... it's been like 2000 years now and millions and millions of people dead in "HIS" name. I think it's safe to say the world has heard of Him by now. Why don't you try something new and KEEP HIM TO YOUR FUCKING SELF???

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kinda just lounging around the house today. hoping my contacts show up so i don't have to where my glasses to work again

And once again ... I'm just speechless.

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What is the measure of a man? Is it his strength, or is it a thought that others feel a man must be. Is sexuality that much of a focus in life? The past is just that. We all dwell in it at times, but the present and future still are to come. Is BI-Sexuality that bad that one must be a pushed down for it.

Here's a guy who's married and is constantly writing shit like this. Why don't you just admit it ... YOUR FUCKING GAY!!!!!!! Admit that you got married to try to lead a 'normal' life while hiding your homosexuality. My advice to you : Get a divorce, let your ex-wife continue on her way to try and regain what sense of pride she has left, meanwhile your free to go out and suck dick without guilt. It's a win-win situation you stupid fudge packer!

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Lost in thought, it is answers that are sought. How lost one can become. Fighting to find the light. Only to be trapped by darkness. Friends who seem true, now glow from their own radiation. Trusting only in ones self. The games others play. Only to be forced to play yourself. Where is the sanctity in life.

More stupid posting by 'gay boy'. I mean come on ... wake up to reality!! Your a married man who types poetry about how tough it is to be gay in the world. READ THE CLUES Sherlock Holmes. I say the sooner you have a big penis stuck up your ass, the happier you'll be.

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Well that's enough for this time. And it also brings to a close the 'Facebook Analogy' series. After watching what everyone types for a couple weeks, and then commenting on it ..it didn't take long to see a pattern that just about everything that gets typed out on Facebook is pretty much a repeat after a very short time. Hence, it is useless to continue this venture .. kinda like Facebook itself. Hope you enjoyed it, it was an interesting experiment for Me.

All 8 of the FaceBook Analogies will soon be available on DVD by late spring 2010 for only $29.99 plus S+H. Send your checks in today to make sure you get a copy!!

EARTHQUAKE

2010-03-16T07:08:00.001-05:00

The 'State Of Les' is the third nation, along with Haiti and Chili to get slammed by a devastating earthquake in 2010. Could this be the beginning of the end for us all ?????????????

CLICK HERE for amazing video footage!!!!!

John 3:16

2010-03-16T06:26:00.005-05:00

Get it ?? Today is March 16th, or 3/16. What a perfect day to talk about a famous bible verse.

So what exactly does John 3:16 say? It says :

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
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Hmmmmmmm. I don't see what is so special about this verse, it seems just as stupid as any other bible verse if you ask Me.

-God so loved the world. - I doubt that, all evidence points to the fact that God hates the world. He's pissed off, jealous, and angry that we always fuck up (but He invented us). Doesn't it seem odd that an all powerful being has such petty human emotions as jealousy, and anger??

-He gave His only begotten Son - Well now, I never asked you to give up your son. Nor did I say that He had to be an only child! I mean - your God ... why didn't you just magically impregnate 100 women instead of just one?

- And you really didn't give up your Son .. because your son is YOU! And since you know everything, then you already knew that after 3 days you would rise again and go right back to heaven where you came from in the first place. What kind of sacrifice is that?

- Shall not perish, but have everlasting life - BULLSHIT! Everybody perishes. Anyone and everyone who has ever lived has perished. And what's this everlasting life stuff? Do you have any proof that there is everlasting life? NO! That's the beauty of religion ... all the magic happens AFTER YOU DIE!!! Wow .... what a concept! No way anyone can ever prove you wrong!

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I'd like to propose My own bible verse that makes about as much sense.

For Les so loved the world, that He sent a spaghetti monster to watch over you during your time on earth, and that all who believe in the pasta fairy shall never die, but live eternally forever in the big meatball in the sky.

Notice any similarities??? Yeah ... you can't prove ME wrong either. Enough said.

Genesis 1:16

2010-03-15T06:04:00.004-05:00

And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.

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Now I know I've talked about this already, but it really bugs Me. How do Christians read this and not say "Wait a minute .. this don't make sense? This is something man would write back in the day when they didn't know any better!"

- God made 2 great lights - WRONG

- the lesser light to rule the night - WRONG

- he made the stars also - AS IF THE STARS ARE ANY DIFFERENT THAN THE GREATER LIGHT! They are all suns !!!!!!! How could God be so stupid? Oh yeah, it wasn't God .. it was man who just didn't know any better. Silly Me.

-And people would say "It was written by man, not inspired by God, so of course they are going to make some mistakes" To which I would reply, "Then what the hell are we doing looking for the divine answers in it for????????"

ConfusLes

2010-03-14T06:29:00.005-05:00

ConfusLes think it odd that He reads the bible more as an agnostic, than He did when He was a Christian.

Corporate Greed

2010-03-13T06:28:00.005-06:00

As part of My observation of people, I decided to interview a few 'shift managers' at work about their career choices. Of course they just seen it as passing conversation, but in reality I was taking mental notes the whole time.

So here's a few things that a typical manager has to put up with now working for 'the man'.

- If they work 40 hours, they get paid 40 hours. (sounds good)

- If they work MORE than 40 hours, they only get paid 40 hours. (Typical salary job, not too smart in My opinion)

*** But here's where it takes a strange twist

- If they work LESS than 40 hours, they only get paid for those hours! (WHAT????)

So if you work 60 hours, you get paid 40, but if you work 20 hours, you only get paid 20??? Who the hell would agree to this kind of work? The answer ... just about anyone!!! And I would ask, "Are you fucking kidding Me??" This is insane!!! Why the hell would anyone agree to this bullshit??

But there's more -

- They just had a meeting and testing out of town. They had to drive a car 4 hours, spend 3 hours at a meeting, then 4 hours back again. And the kicker .... NO PAY!!!!!!!! They just donated 11 hours of their life to "The System" for free!!!!!!! And after a full day of driving and meetings, some had to be to work in another 4 hours!! Holy shit! Is there anything you won't say NO to?? Seriously people .. why the hell do you do this to yourself?? For the money? It can't be the money because I know how much you make, and it ain't worth it!!!

I want to feel sorry for these people, but I can't. It's not like they have a gun to their heads forcing them to do the things they do. They just can't let go of the brand new car (and payments), and the credit cards, and the status symbols for their egos. It's really sad, because it doesn't have to be like this. There is a better way, but as always ... they would rather have sympathy than have a better life.

I'm convinced that climbing the corporate ladder for 'the man' is one colossal mistake, but with this new evidence at just how low an employer will go to screw you over .. well lets just say it has become an 'Iron Clad Law' etched in stone for Me.

I actually thought we had abolished slavery some time ago, but it looks like it's still going strong today in corporate America. The only difference is, today the slaves are volunteers.

Flagellum

2010-03-12T06:27:00.003-06:00

The flagellum. Probably one of the coolest micro organisms that we know about.

What is a flagellum? It's this little self propelled micro bacterium that's present in protein chains and stuff. Who cares what it is. It's how this little thing works that's absolutely amazing.

This little thing has got over 40 moving parts. It's like a little tiny rotary engine spinning at over 100,000 RPM's. And it can stop and reverse in a split second. Try that with a man made motor. This tiny little thing has a rotor, a stator, rods, bearings, and bushings .... oh yeah, and you can fit a million of them on the width of a human hair.

Ahhhhh hell, I can't even begin to describe these cool little things. Go check them out for yourselves .. it well worth it. It just blows Me away that you can go on an endless journey forever out into the universe and never find the end, but then turn around and head into the world of micro organisms, and it's a seemingly endless void of questions heading that way too. And here we are ... somewhere in the middle of one endless ocean of it all, wondering what the hell are we doing here?

Now GO ... SERIOUSLY!!! Go Google 'Flagellum' dammit!

Ants

2010-03-11T06:04:00.000-06:00

The other day I wrote the ants make up 1/5 of the world weight in land animals. Now that's just incredible to Me.

Think about this for a minute. An ant weighs about .004 of a gram. That's four one hundredths of a gram. That's about 26 ants to equal a paper clip. It would take over 100,000 ants to equal a pound. Now imagine that. On one side of a scale you have a pound of butter, and to equal it out on the other side you'd have 100,000 ants! And how many ants to equal an average human? Ohhh around 20 million ants!!!!

They estimate that there is about 10 quadrillion ants in the world today. That's 10,000,000,000,000,000, or 10 with 15 zeros after it. They also estimate that if you weighed all the humans in the world VS all the ants, it would be about a draw. WOW. Pretty impressive since 1 human equals 20 million ants!

So who the hell says humans are the dominant species on earth? Maybe it's ants that have it all figured out. OR .. maybe ants need to start wearing little ant condoms since they make the human population explosion look like NOTHING! What if all the ants were secretly in charge of mother earth? Hiding in their little underground bunkers controlling all that goes on! Dammit I need some weed!

And here's some cool info. Many ants are blind! They can't even see what the fuck they're doing! They find their way by smell and chemicals. Each ant colony has a specific chemical 'odor' (for lack of a better word). They use these smells to tell who's part of their colony, and who is the enemy. Scientist have actually taken a little chunk of wood and doused it in enemy chemicals and put in a jar with ants, and the ants attack it!

Still not impressed? How about the fact that ants can lift up to 50 times their own weight! That's the equivalent of the average human lifting over 9000 lbs!! When's the last time you seen a human walking around with three passenger cars on his back? Or how about the fact that ants fall off your backyard deck onto the concrete patio and just keep going! Again I ask you, when's the last time a human jump off a skyscraper and dusted himself off and kept right on walking? Or that some ants can jump 20 times their body length. How about the fact that an ants trap-jaw can slam shut at around 60mph delivering a force of 300 times their body weight!

I could keep going and going, but a 10 page blog on ants probably doesn't hold much interest .. unless your Me. So I'll end it there. Now I not only wonder what the hell are we doing here on this planet, but what the hell are all the ants doing too!

Facebook Analogy Part 7

2010-03-10T06:03:00.004-06:00

More stupid posting. More intelligent replies. Enjoy!

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Can't believe my boy is 18 today!!!

Well I'm guessing yesterday He was 17 years, 364 days old. What exactly did you expect to happen today OTHER than the fact that he'd turn 18. *WARNING* - this phenomenon will happen again in exactly one more year .. be prepared.

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Awww you all are awesome! Thank you for all the wonderful birthday wishes:) I am so thankful to have such wonderful friends

Seriously? Facebook alerts people to when somebody's birthday is, and that somehow translates in your brain that you should be thankful you have such wonderful friends??? This is like programming your coffee maker to make coffee at 5:30AM so when you wake up there is a nice, hot pot of java ready for you ...... and then being so thankful that your coffee maker is such a wonderful thing to actually remember you each and every morning. A coffee maker with feelings and emotions!!!!! How can that be?????

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Joy and Sadness, all in the same day.

*WARNING* - Attention alert! The ONLY reason this person posted this is because of the lame attempt to get people to ask what's wrong. Go swallow some DranO!

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A bit tired..think it's almost bed time

Yup ... those two things tend to go hand in hand oddly enough.

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my son is on the phone with a girl who called him...isn't he too young for all this?

Well now .. it could be worse! At least he's actually TALKING to another human being, unlike some idiotic parents who spend their day TYPING to a bunch of fake cyber friends on Facebook. All in all, I'd say without your parental supervision, he MIGHT have a chance of leading a productive, healthy life!!

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Is teaching her little boy to tie his shoes.

YOU MUST BE SOOOOOOOO PROUD!!! Statistically speaking .. only 1 in 25,310 parents actually teach their kids to tie their own shoes! It's NO WONDER you took the time to type it out on Facebook for the rest of the world to 'OOOH and AAAH' over!

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I went to WalMart, children in tow, at 5:30 today. I need my head examined. Thankfully, -------- gave me something to smile about. On the way in, she was telling me about the "glow-in-the-dark" fish they have. She said, "They glow because God put lights in them...you know, how He said, 'Let there be light'? And they lit up!" :)

Yeah .. it's cute when they're 5 years old, but it's damn scary when they still believe bullshit stories when they become adults because the parents were too stupid to teach them the truth eventually. Which explains why you felt the urge to go to Walmart and type about it on Facebook in the first place. It also explains why when MY children say we should pray about something, I tell them "Every time you pray to Jesus, God kills a baby puppy."

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Just wondering if anyone else has days were-----MMMM I WONDER WHY GOD PUT ME ON THE EARTH CAUSE I REALLY FEEL LIKE IM A BIG SCREW UP AND IM NO GOOD FOR NOTHING!!!! Anyone else feel like this somedays?

That's the whole point of religion, to make you feel like a pathetic, worthless, sinner who isn't worthy of the life that God created for you. And without lots and lots of money and a incredibly guilty conscience, you never will be worthy either!!! *NOTE* - If you toss in your son to a pack of priests now and then, I guess it's suppose to help. Or was it sacrificing some goats blood on an altar .. hmmmm I can't remember which.

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Why am I so sad? Why am I so upset? I should put my hope in God and keep praising him, my Savior and my God. ~Psalm 42:5 NCV

Now here's the same lady who wrote that last post, only one hour later or so. Yeah ....... looks like you found the answer all right. You felt like shit that you weren't good enough for God ... so you turned to God to feel better. Yeah, makes PERFECT sense now!

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Hate job stress. Hate. It.

ME TOO!!! That's why I gave it up! I found that not only was job stress stupid, but so was the entire JOB!! The whole concept of working and growing with a company and climbing the corporate ladder is total bullshit invented by 'the man' to keep you from enjoying your life. But what the hell am I wasting My time writing this for .. no one ever believes Me.

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not good, not good, not good. I have a little one with a fever and wheezing and I'm supposed to go away this weekend. Here's hoping she can fight this thing off.

Yeah .. I BET you hope she can fight this thing off. Wouldn't want to interrupt your plans and actually force you to be A PARENT! My guess is this girl could get pneumonia and you'd still find a way to leave for the weekend without caring for her anyway. Typical parent.

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Why is it when you are expecting money, something comes up and it ends up getting spent before you even have it? Tax refund due tomorrow - plumber needed called today. Sigh......

Because your a 'typical' American who doesn't have a dime in this thing called a savings account. I'm certain you live paycheck to paycheck, and when you make a major purchase, all your concerned about is 'how low are the monthly payments?' Not to mention you probably paid $100 or MORE to get a 'Rapid Refund' on the money THAT WAS YOURS TO BEGIN WITH!!!!!! It's people like you that have sunk this country into the financial collapse in the first place (but it's all in God's hands so it's OK). Stupid people like yourselves have to exist for greedy bankers to prey on. And if you think your little plumbing bill is a problem, try managing the fact that every single person in the United States owes over $35,000.00 to the deficit. That includes you, your spouse, AND your 5 kids (which you can't afford to begin with). Way to go, proud Christian parent!

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OK .. gotta quit, that last posting got the blood boiling. See ya soon!

Goodnight Dinosaurs

2010-03-09T06:15:00.006-06:00

Sooooo like 65 million years ago the dinosaurs ruled the earth. They were the 'human beings' of yesteryear. Then out of nowhere a massive asteroid came and wiped them out, along with about 1/2 of all the species on earth.

Imagine that, a rock hurtling through space at such a speed that it created the atomic explosion a billion times more powerful than the bomb that hit Hiroshima!! That's incredible!!! Just one random rock smashing into another random rock millions of years ago. And here on our tiny planet, the world was coming to an end. But in the grand scheme of things .. the universe didn't even flinch. 100 trillion tons of TNT, a number that we can't even get our head around.

Imagine a big dent in the earth 112 miles across! One hundred and twelve MILES! Next time you take a little road trip, reset your trip meter and drive until it reads 112 miles, and realize that you're driving inside the crater of the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs. And if that don't impress you, then go update your Facebook account or something. Scientist can actually study the earth and see the debris from this massive collision all the way over in Europe! So basically a rock hit Mexico and debris landed as far away as Europe .. yeah, that's slightly impressive shit!

And back in the day, the dinosaurs thought they were 'the shit'. Nothing could touch them, they thought they were king of all the land. Well it didn't take much to put them in their place now did it? And now millions of years later, it's the same story .. just with humans. And one day our ass will get handed to us on a silver plate.

Yeah we humans think were so damn important. Everything revolves around us, we are the dominant species of everything. Yeah .. I hate to pop your bubble, but you ain't shit! Nobody is! Even our biggest baddest H-bomb available today that could wipe out half a country and leave the rest of the world with their tail between their legs doesn't even begin to compare to the energy output that our star (the sun) can do in a microsecond! And the sun is actually a rather small star compared to what's out there.

So next time your stuck at a red light, or someone forgot to put mayo on your Whopper at the drive thru, or your kids can't sleep, or the price of gas went up a nickel .. just realize how pathetic it is to even fathom of having such a worthless thought. Enjoy life, tell your boss to go fuck himself now and then, put down the remote control and stare at the stars, masturbate in public, take some chances, and be happy your not a dinosaur living a few hundred million years ago. Life is good .. enjoy!

Who would YOU rather ??

2010-03-08T06:16:00.002-06:00

I'm a Mary Ann person Myself. But a Ginger-Mary Ann lez-fest is not something I'd rule out.

Those people that vote Mrs. Howell need not bother commenting.

Tip of the day.

2010-03-07T06:17:00.006-06:00

Here's a little tip for you to stop becoming dumber by the day.

You know when your typing something and you spell it wrong, then the computer underlines it to let you know that you have a misspelled word? Well .... the common thing to do is 'right click' the mouse and highlight the correct spelling and continue on.

What the hell good does that do? NOTHING! It just makes you dumber! Next time, don't 'right click' the word, use your 'backspace' key and try again! And keep trying until you get it right! You might actually learn how to spell words this way. Interesting concept.

Another damning video

2010-03-06T06:34:00.006-06:00

Yes another fascinating video on proof for evolution, and extinction, and speciation. Real scientific evidence as to how things evolved, when it happened, what was around during these different periods, and how life branched out into different life.

I post these videos because I am extremely confused as to how religious people say that the earth is only 6000 years old, and everything just appeared in a magic *POOF* !! I'm uncertain as to how one can argue the validity of the Bible when they are up against the mountains of evidence pointing the opposite way. I mean ...... evolution is NOT that difficult of a concept to grasp! Dare I say, it doesn't even require 'FAITH' !!

I mean WHO CARES !!!! So the Jesus story and the Mohammad story have both been proven to be nothing more than old mythological folk lore!! So you believed in something and it turned out to be wrong! Big deal .. why try keeping it alive just because of ignorance? That doesn't mean you can't believe in a 'creator' or some 'higher maker' out there somewhere. But lets put to rest this bullshit that Jesus talks to you and answers your prayers and heals the sick, and causes earthquakes in the lands where people sin too much. I mean enough is enough already!! Amen.

Facebook Analogy Part 6

2010-03-05T06:31:00.001-06:00

Episode number 6 of the absurd stupidity of Facebook ... and the millions who support it. Enjoy.

---- was impressed by the opening ceremonies. Still not a Sarah Mclachlan fan.....never will be, I guess. Loved the rest of it, though! :)

(response) I've always considered k.d. lang's style to be a little weird....but, I LOVE her voice. She's got some power in those folds! It was good to hear her tonight!

(response) And, I found it rather funny to see the fake snow falling on the opening ceremonies while I looked outside and saw the REAL snow falling outside my window! LOL....my own personal snow globe. :)

Here's what you may not know about. The two responses are from the same person who wrote the first post. That's right ..... SHE'S TYPING TO HERSELF!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW do you believe Me that people are getting dumber by the day???

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Going to hang up laundy, take a shower then head to walmart to get hangers & some other things

I'm speechless other than the fact that I'd bet good money you'd be the perfect candidate for the "People of Walmart" sight.

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--- is wishing my Grandpa a Happy Birthday today! 92 and still going strong! He's an inspiration to us all. :) At the same time, I'm remembering the family of my friend, ---- -----, who died a year ago today. Please hold them in your prayers on this difficult day.

Now assuming I believed in prayer .. just what in the fuck do you want Me to pray about?? The guy is already dead! Do you want Me to pray that he comes back to life for his family?? Am I supposed to believe that this 'total stranger to Me' should have the same magical resurrection as Jesus Christ??? Why the fuck do you think after 2000 years, HE should be the lucky one????

Or maybe I'm supposed to pray for the family of the lost one. And just what the fuck am I supposed to pray about then??? That they remember the day?? That they forget the day?? That there is BINGO every night starting at 6:30?

And your grandpa who's 92 is NOT an inspiration to ME!!!!! I'VE NEVER EVEN MET THE FUCKER!!!!!! He's probably just another asshole who insists on being out in public everyday taking 10 times as long to do whatever it is the rest of us do at regular speed! I got a better idea .. why don't you keep YOUR family shit to the little circle called YOUR FAMILY!!!??!! Dumb hairy slit!

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It's time to book a trip to Vegas.....hehehehehe.....work is just too demanding lately.....gotta get the heck outta Dodge! ;)

What you don't know is that MOST of this person's 'Facebooking' is done AT WORK ... WHILE WORKING!!!!!!! Yeah .. typical American lazy tit. Goes to work, visits, plays on the computer, drinks coffee, gets paid for it, and then has the nerve to complain that the job is stressful. Did I mention we are becoming the embarrassment of the world?

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--- is wishing ---- a wonderful birthday today. Love you soooooo much!

Awwww ... how sweet! GO FUCK YOURSELF!

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Honestly......are EVERYONE'S children as strange and wild as mine are????? Or am I just the lucky one? ;-) (Spring cannot come soon enough to this house, methinks!)

Nope .. your children are the STRANGEST ones in the entire world! You know why? Because their mommy types down every single thing she's ever done in a given day on Facebook, and it's in their genes to one day become as retarded as their parents.

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--- is getting ready to go the the Valentine Dinner at church. The men do the cooking, serving, and entertainment.....and they EVEN clean up afterward! It's become a pretty popular event for the congregation. :)

You know what else has become popular at church's these days? Raping altar boys. Way to celebrate your love in a pedophile institution that teaches 'Fairy Tales' are REAL!! .. how sweet ;)

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Right now Mike is playing a quiet game of Guess who with Xander and Zaan is playing with Abby. Jacob just got fed and Allison is sleeping:)

RIGHT NOW there are A LOT of things going on this world .... and what your kids are currently doing just didn't make the "I Give A Shit" list!! Way to name your kids by the way .. Xander and Zaan! Are they going to be aliens in space when they grow up or something? I'm sure they'll get the shit beat out of them in school a few times for their goofy names that you insisted on giving them. AND FIVE KIDS ... WHOA!!! Way to go on that venture!!! The sixth one must not be on the way yet because I'm sure you would have mentioned what 'it' was doing also!

Oh .. and for the record. I just farted and it smells like RiceARoni, the wife is bleeding from Her pussy, My youngest one is watching Sponge Bob, My oldest one is discovering the art of masturbating, and the dog is currently licking his dick. Still feel like sharing ????

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So dont you hate it when your man thinks that valentines day is just another day?

Yeah .. I hate that shit! Especially when you consider Valentines Day is a bunch of made up bullshit about SAINT VALENTINE. Uhmmmmmm .. how many saints do you know in YOUR life?? That's right .. NONE ... because there is no such thing as SAINTS you stupid sack of hair!!!
And the idea of Valentines Day that we know it is just ANOTHER ploy to get YOUR money to provide the false idea that it proves your love for a significant other! That's right ... it's a holiday .. for RETAILERS!!! Just like every other fucking holiday. Why don't you smarten up (like your man did), and show your true love by having hot, passionate sex until you can't walk anymore and have to call in sick the next day. Just don't have a 'love child' because of it ..that's all I ask.

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Either cupid hit me in the head with that stinkin arrow & gave me a headache, or I need him to so it'll relieve some pressure. Ow.

Yeah .. it could possibly be one of those two things, or maybe something else. Could it be the breakdown of the DNA double helix linkage in your body from lack of use? Maybe it's the genes in your brain committing suicide because they don't feel needed anymore. Maybe your the beginning of a frightening trend ... 'backward evolution' .. where the human starts to go back to a form of ape-like creature because it didn't use it's current human form to anything near full capacity!!! I'd say any of these would be a greater possibility than a magic fairy shooting love darts at your head.

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Well better stop now .. I'm starting to get depressed that I'm one of the human race. See ya next time!

WHAT A DAY!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-03-04T06:24:00.006-06:00

*Warning* - long posting .. but well worth it!

Ohhhhhhh some days I'm just happy to be alive! I lead a pretty quiet, uneventful life so I'm pretty easily amused.

Today 3 Jehovah's Witnesses came to My country door. First of all, I think you gotta be pretty desperate to go out to the country where there's only a house every 5 miles. I mean how are you going to meet your Jesus quota that way????

So they tell Me they're here to talk to Me about God, and hand Me a couple of brochures, one of them is about 'What does God think of alcohol?" to which I replied, "Didn't Jesus turn the water into wine? Oh yeah, and weren't some of his disciples so drunk they passed out butt naked?"

And the reply was "Yes, people have messed up this world something terrible."

And My response "Didn't God create people?? Isn't God perfect? Why would God create something that didn't work just so He could punish it? Is God that sadistic? If I built a car that blew up every 3 feet, wouldn't I just start over with a NEW car instead of just blaming the old car (that I created) as being a piece of crap?"

*** at this point the poor ladies knew this wasn't going to be the 'average' house call.

Then they pointed out that all the earthquakes and hurricanes are God's way of saying that the end times are near.

I simply said, "All the earthquakes and stuff are the cause of 'climate change' that's probably caused by HUMANS and it's the earth's way of saying "KNOCK IT OFF!!" I also pointed out that driving around in the country telling old folk tales is not helping their 'carbon footprint' either! And why is this end times the right one? What happened to 1988, what happened to 2000? Are you now selling 2012 as the magic time??" I also pointed out that the odd weather that we are seeing ain't NOTHING .... just wait another 10 or 20 years and watch the fun! Oh yeah, I also pointed out that IF God creates these earthquakes, it was sure nice of Him to slaughter 200,000 innocent people in Haiti. Nice guy!!!

Then I felt obligated to point out that their Bible says the earth is around 6000 years old even though every single branch of science has unanimously agreed that the earth is around 4.5 billion years old and is whizzing through the universe which is around 14.4 billion years old.

They said "God created MAN around 6000 years old, not the earth and stars and stuff."

My response "BULLSHIT ...... In the beginning there was a endless VOID, and God created the earth, and the stars, and the planets, and the trees, and the waters, and , and , and. Then He was exhausted so He took a nap on the 7th day."

And they tried to say "It doesn't really say how long man has been around in the Bible."

And I responded "BULLSHIT ..... it's one of many fatal errors in the bible. They put a genealogy chart that can be traced back to the days of Adam and Eve, and that same time God made them, He created everything else too!! Nice try!!"

** At this point I started to realize that they didn't have much of a leg to stand on with their questions, so I decided to turn the tables around and throw out a few questions of My own.

So I asked THEM - "How come God never answers prayers? How come Christian people who get married have a higher divorce rate than non-Christians? How come there is NO evidence of a world wide flood? Wouldn't it be safe to say that if you were in Pakistan right now doing the same thing you'd be handing out brochures of how Mohammad is the son of Allah? Why are there unicorns mentioned in the Bible? How come the Bible says the earth is the center of all the universe and everything spins around us, when it clearly doesn't? Do you really believe that Noah lived to be 950 years old, and at around 500 years old He took on the task of building a 450 foot ark made up of gopher wood? Isn't it odd that God's 7th commandment is 'thou shalt not kill' and yet God himself commanded the death of millions of people?"

Oh yeah .. needless to say, I don't think these poor Jehovah witnesses were quite up to the task of dealing with a prick like Me! If it wasn't the middle of winter, I would have taken them on the tour of "Noah's Ark" that I measured out on My property. I think I could have spent a few hours with these ladies ... hell, I might have even convinced them to become agnostic!

And as we parted ways they asked if they could come back some day and discuss God with Me again (must be part of the contract to get to Heaven). To which I kindly said "NO". I pointed out that I would enjoy them coming to My door spouting religion to Me just as much as they would like it if a bunch of naked men had a gay orgy on their front doorstep. I wished them luck, and told them you don't need religion to be a good person, it's OK to just go out in the world and be good person all on your own!

And My last words to them were the best sound advice I thought I could give, and that is "I don't know all the answers .. but YOU DON'T EITHER! And that's OK! Take care and good luck."

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So all in all, that was a hell-of-a-lot of fun. I'm kinda disappointed I didn't tell them to come back. But I guess if I ever want to get into a heated debate about religion with someone, I shouldn't have to go very far to make that happen.

Thought for the day

2010-03-03T06:05:00.002-06:00

If you took all the land animals out there today and weighed them all, do you know what 20% of that weight would be??

ANTS!!! No shit! 1/5 of all the weight of all the land animals walking around earth right now are frickin' ANTS!!

That's a lot of damn ants.

I am currently doing some research on these fascinating little creatures, and will be posting a blog about them soon. Stay tuned.

Now you know.

Dick of the day.

2010-03-02T06:07:00.000-06:00

A 52-year-old Louisiana woman has pleaded guilty to two counts of sale of a minor for trading two children to a couple in exchange for an exotic pet bird and $175.

The Evangeline Parish Clerk of Court's Office tells The Advocate newspaper that Greenwell will begin serving her sentence March 25.

Greenwell was accused of selling the couple a 4-year-old girl and 5-year-old boy in return for the cash and a cockatoo. Both children were in Greenwell's care after their biological parents had left them with her.

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Moral of the story. Put your trust and faith in the church.

First Ladies

2010-03-01T06:26:00.002-06:00

I've always wondered why the 'First Ladies' have always had to have a 'JOB' that they had to claim while their husband was in office? Who the hell invented this? Let's take a look at some of the 'first ladies' over the years and how successful they were at what they did.

Rosalynn Carter - She fought to help people with chronic mental health problems. I don't see the point in this. If these people are smearing peanut butter on their testicles in public to begin with .. I doubt they really care what the fuck anyone thinks of them anyway. Not to mention the biggest cause of mental illness is all the legal DRUGS that we're addicted to, not to mention a heaping helping of American diet!! But I don't see you taking on Pfizer or the USDA ... NOOOO .. can't do that .. they're already in your back pocket!

Nancy Reagan - She had the big 'war on drugs' theme and 'just say NO' thing going on. Yeah .. that really worked. Drugs are basically non-existent in the United States today. The only drugs our government wants us on is LEGAL drugs ... because it makes people RICH!!!! Way to go Nancy!

Barbara Bush - She was fighting to stop all the adult illiteracy in the country. Well, using time as a scale to measure on, we can easily see that people are STUPIDER than ever before!! EPIC FAIL!!

Hillary Clinton - She didn't do SHIT!! She was too busy being president!!

Laura Bush - encouraged reading!! A noble cause I guess. There's a Barnes & Noble yuppy store everywhere you look these days .. I guess you did your job! You might of put a little effort into making sure your husband didn't look like a fucking retard on a daily basis, but then those are some big shoes to fill.

Michelle Obama - fighting to stop childhood obesity. Sorry honey, your fighting a battle that can't be won!! You actually think your a adequate opponent against the likes of McDonalds, Burger King, Dairy Queen, Frito Lay, Coca Cola, Hershey Chocolate, Kelloggs, Kraft Food, Pizza Hut, the dairy industry, constant bombardment of commercials for junk food, and cartoons advertising food ......... meanwhile your holding up a carrot in defense???? YEAH .. good luck sweetie! The only way you can begin to conquer this monster is from inside the home with parents, which pretty much means we're FUCKED!

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You know what I'd like to see in the next first lady? Someone who doesn't do a God Damn thing. THAT would be impressive! Someone who just sits on a lawn chair in the back of the white house taking in the suns rays. Someone who says "Fuck you! I'm married to the most powerful man in the world. I don't gotta do SHIT! Now go get Me another margarita!"

I'm just afraid that the next first lady will be named "Todd".

Facebook Analogy Part 5

2010-02-28T06:06:00.008-06:00

Time for another installment of Facebook Analogy .. aren't you lucky?!?

I'm still protecting the retarded who write this stuff, but not sure why. Enjoy.

--- is helping ------- make her Valentine box for her party tomorrow. This is always such a creative endeavor! :)

Yeah .. that's good to know. Might I add that if you wouldn't have opened YOUR Valentine BOX a few years ago .. it's possible we wouldn't be reading this stupid shit in the first place!!

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--- just realized she has crumbs and various assorted sticky things on her shirt. But.....I'm a mom.....I have an excuse! I think.

Speaking of sticky things on your shirt ... it's really a damn shame that your dad didn't squirt some sticking stuff on your moms shirt that fateful night when you were conceived!!!

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---- is 1 week old today!

Wow .. that's awesome!! I would have NEVER guessed that the baby you kept ranting about in your belly for the last 2 months would actually be a week old EXACTLY 1 WEEK after it was born!!!! What are the fucking odds of that??? Now in 7 more days if she's two weeks old, I'm just gonna start shitin' bricks .. PLEASE keep us posted!

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--- is going to bed.....night everyone!!! going to rapid city for the weekend cant wait!!!!

It's a 'double whammy' stupidity post!!! Not only did you post the fact that your going to bed (congratulations by the way), but also you threw in a 'little hint' that you want everyone to comment about how lucky you are to be going on a trip because nobody would care otherwise!!

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--- is surrounded by people receiving good news. :-) Is it my turn now?

What you don't know is that this dumb, spoiled bitch has been trying to sell her other house for 2 years now. And every time (except this one) she has a 'showing', she asks everyone on the internet to pray for her. I'd say she's had a good 30 prayer requests for her now ... one would think you'd find the link between praying .. and prayer NOT working. Hmmmm

Not to mention she's the typical yuppy bitch I've come to HATE. She is constantly living a lifestyle that many of us would dream about. Trip after trip, Florida, Hawaii, Niagara Falls .. entertainment, fine wine, fine dining, concerts ... you name it ... she's doing it, and pretty much on a daily basis. Then she has the balls to complain how hard it is making two house payments. I like to think that if she died a horrific death tomorrow, I would celebrate just a little bit. Is that wrong?

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*sigh* repeat of last weekend just different teams Friday ~ OT appointment and hockey game Saturday ~ basketball game and hockey game Sunday ~ hockey game *sigh*

This is what I like to refer to as 'self inflicted' stupidity. The stress that people create all on their own and then bitch about it. I'm sure she also thinks that God magically impregnated her with her kids because God has the master plan for her life. Yeah .. it wasn't the fact that a sperm driven penis dove into a swollen hot vagina and spewed out a wad of love snot without protection. YOU CREATED IT ...... YOU DEAL WITH IT!!!! By the way .. no one put a gun to your head and said your kids HAD to be in hockey and/or basketball!!! Shit brick!

*note to self* - "Sperm driven penis" ... it's got a nice 'ring' to it. Could be a sequel to A Purpose Driven Life??

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I hope I look good Bald, cause I'm going to pull my freaking hair out.

Very similar to the desperate "Tomorrow is my birthday" plea. Just typing a 'teaser' post in the desperation that other people will be forced to ask you what's wrong. Hey .. next time you feel like pulling your hair out and typing it on Facebook, just grab a scissors and plunge it into your throat. This stops the hair from growing.

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I didn't see it coming, so I didn't duck. I wish I could have seen it coming so it would miss me, but I didn't, now I have it. I have a miserable cold.

Ahhhh tricky tricky tricky!! You may not have seen this, but it's ANOTHER desperate plea for sympathy from people who otherwise would not give a shit. But they put it in a secret little catchy phrase instead!! Probably due to the fact that this person has made so many 'regular pleas' that they needed to evolve it into better ones to get the same attention. PATHETIC!! Go gargle with razor blades .. I heard that works!!

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Ate dinner, cleaned the living room. Now it is time to start bed time I was going to let them stay up late but I need them to go to bed.

Nothing to say here that hasn't already been said ... just sit back, relax, and watch people getting more pathetic and stupid by the minute.

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Fellowship of the Hearts Banquet tonight at church...can't wait to have dinner out with my husband and no kids!

Yup ... the number one goal of PARENTS. NOT having the KIDS! Wow.

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we can find 1,000,000 people who don't believe in Evolution before June

This is just damn scary. Someone I vaguely know has joined a group to find a million people who don't believe in evolution, but instead every living species (possibly a 100 million of them) just magically appeared one day. To be so ignorant to snub his nose at mountains and mountains of evidence from the most intelligent people from all over the globe over the past 150 years without EVER being proved wrong ONCE despite millions of tests. This is why I think we should cancel ALL current government assistance programs and invest in 'forced education courses'. A 1 week mandatory course for each and every American teaching this thing called REALITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I predict assholes like this will surely be an active participant in the extinction of the human race.

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tonight's stats: 4 people asking if I was having twins, 9 comments that I'm really big or huge, and 13 people's eyes getting as big as saucers when I mentioned that I'm due in a month. Becoming a hermit sounds more appealing than ever.

tonight's replies: 4 people who thinks the fact that your pregnant is NOT WORTH MENTIONING, 9 comments on your just adding to the 400,000 other crying little shits who will be born any given day, 13 people offering you a coat hanger and a dark alley when you mentioned the fact that you already have 3 OTHER KIDS!!! A swift kick in the stomach sounds more appealing than ever if you ask Me!

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And I'll have to quit there for today. Blood pressure has risen to the danger point. Until next time .. you keep typing, I'll keep observing.

ORION

2010-02-27T06:06:00.003-06:00

Say hello to Orion. "Hi Orion." Orion (or 'The Hunter') is some bullshit mythical fighter in the sky that is clearly viewable from My house much of the year. Now I'm not big on the legends behind the constellations, but Orion has become My buddy in recent years. In fact, every night when I look up in the sky I see him and feel obligated to salute him. Sometimes I think I'm just retarded.

If you look close, you can see his two points for his shoulders, and one for his head. Then lower down you can see 3 points for his belt, and 3 more points (vertical) for his sheath. Then finally two more points for his feet.

He generally sticks out quite clearly in the dark country sky where I live, but the funny thing is, this picture of him is probably 5 times more clear than what I've ever seen in real life. Astronomers have been fascinated by one tiny point in this constellation. That is the little bright spot in his sheath. It's called 'Orion's Nebula' and has provided scientist a wealth of information on how stars are formed from collapsing gas and dust. Here's a close up picture of that little spec in the sky. Absolutely gorgeous!

This is pretty cool to view with a telescope, or even with some binoculars if you have a chance. It's mind numbing all the stuff that out there, and yet we just go on with our lives without even noticing it. I know this for a fact because now that I'm working I bring people outside at night to show them this stuff, but they shrug their shoulders and head back in. I guess talking about the latest events on reality TV is more important to them.

Everyone is so concerned about their own pathetic little life on earth that they don't even fathom that the gasses of the Orion nebula are probably just over a million years old and are still cooling to this day, and will some day be cool enough to form new planets. All this while were spinning on a dot called earth at over 1000 mph and that same dot is whipping through space around the sun at 67,000 mph! Meanwhile in a microsecond of a blink of an eye, our lives will come and go without the slightest impact on the big picture of things.

But that's OK, because if people didn't do what they do, then My theory on the continuing stupidity of the human race wouldn't even hold water. So thank you for that at least.

Who do you hate more?

2010-02-25T06:03:00.007-06:00

This isn't really a fair question. It's kinda like asking how would you rather die? 1. Having your eyes plucked out by vultures while chained to a railroad track. 2. Having bamboo shards shoved under your fingernails while soaking in a tub of hydrochloric acid.

I actually almost feel sorry for you people who watch TV, because just the ads I see on the internet for these two companies makes Me want to jump off My quonset onto a rusty pitchfork.

ATTENTION PLEASE!!!!!!!!

2010-02-24T06:11:00.001-06:00

Attention everybody!!! PLEASE quit looking at Facebook, turn off your damn cell phone, and set down your Starbucks mocha cappuccino. This is important!

I would like 7 minutes of your time .. that's all. You spend more time than that flipping from one reality TV show to the other!

Please take a look at this video on evolution. Get some facts!! THEN ... if you want to go out and still believe that everything was magically created in 6 days around 4000 years ago .. you can! It's just that in addition to being plain stupid and retarded, you'll also add ignorant to the list. Thank you.

Facebook Analogy Part 4

2010-02-23T06:04:00.004-06:00

Yes another installment of FB analogy is upon us.

As always .. the names of the retarded have been deleted to protect them from .. uhmmm .. being a retard I guess. Enjoy!

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My hands feel like popsicles. Just can't get them warm. Maybe some of the hot cocoa that Jane bought me for Christmas will warm me up. Marshmallows! Yum!

Why not entertain the idea of sticking your frozen hands down your pants and masturbating?? You'd skip the experience of looking like a retard by posting something so lame, you'd warm up your hands, you'd relinquish your sexual drive for awhile, and you'd avoid having another fucking kid who will one day grow up and type stupid shit on Facebook!!

---

school is already cancelled for tomorrow again, nice that --- has off work, because I don't care what kind of weather we have I am going to my interview...say a little prayer for me please that the right words come out

Two things wrong with this posting.

1. No matter what the weather .. your going to make it to a job interview? Really?? A JOB is that important that you'd risk your life on dangerous, icy roads mingling with 100's of other 1/2 ton pieces of steel? Yeah .. that about sums up the stupidity of people today. They actually think working is a TOP priority. Stupid yuppy dick!! Keep that system going slave bitch!!

2. You want Me to say a prayer that the words come out right?? Hmmmm. Dear God, I know you must be busy with all the chaos in Haiti, the countless wars going on in the world, genocides, rape, murder, torture, world hunger, natural disasters and a endless list of other stuff. Not to mention your plate MUST be full because from down here it doesn't look like your doing 'jack shit' about it. But if you have a free moment, could you please help My friend and make sure her words come out right, because as you know .. saying the wrong thing REALLY SUCKS. Thank you, amen.

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Update on the arm...got the splint off and my arm really hurts now. Didn't realize how much support that gave me. Have to wear my sling now for about 4 wks. I think I'm going to need a lot of tylenol!!!

Complaining about how much it hurts to use your arm .. and yet enduring the pain to type to the rest of the world on just how much it hurts. I don't think your arm is your top priority for some reason. I think it's more of your 'Attention Whore' status sunk from level 10 to level 9 and you need to get it back up again.

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doing a couple of small projects around the house today. then lunch with my honey

This person just baffles Me. He/She always types something lame and stupid ... AND NO ONE EVER RESPONDS!!! And then, the next day .. He/She DOES IT AGAIN!!!! WOW!! This continues almost every day! At what point do you realize that you don't even have ANY FAKE FRIENDS???

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got my walk in and some fixer upper chores done. also lunch with the wife and now .....nap time before work

You guessed it .. this is the same moron as above, just a few hours later. *NOTE* - no one responded to this one either! It's almost as He/She is typing to oneself to reassure that He/She is still alive and breathing, although WHY is yet to be figured out.

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Thunder and I are off to the Vet in a few..woof woof.Nothing really bad but bothersome and Mommy wants me at my best!woof woof I LOVE MY MOMMY!

Here's an exceptionally strange ranger who types everything through her dog. Just about everything she types is to appear that it's her dogs thoughts. Now while I think everyone on Facebook has a neurological disorder .. I think this person might need to visit the padded cell first.

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A blade went thru my neighborhood. Thank you, but were you drunk? I hope you go again, but don't hear the beep beep anywhere close. c'mon spring. It is 18 out tho! yeaa and that's above 0!

Yes, 18 IS above 0. Very good .. now go put up a 'smiley face' sticker next to your name :) And I'm guessing that you thought the blade operator was drunk because your one of the sorry excuses of a human that parks all their vehicles IN THE STREET instead of your driveway! I personally think any asshole that parks in the street during the winter should be first in line at the lobotomy clinic.

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--- thinks that God simply did NOT give me enough wisdom OR patience to go with these children He gave me to raise. Sometimes I wonder what He must think of the job I'm doing. I'm so thankful I'm forgiven, 'cause if I weren't, I'd have some 'splainin' to do!

YOUR RIGHT! God did NOT give you patience or wisdom, these are learned traits in human behavior! However God also did NOT give you 'these children' to raise either! YOUR children are the product of you spreading your legs one night to get your vagina tickled while your 'better half' was too stupid to wear a condom! DEAL WITH IT!! And you're NOT forgiven, nor will you have some 'splainin' to do either. This is reality .. WELCOME!

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Honey made me spaghetti & sauce. He also got me a puppy calendar...awww I love him!

In what specific way would you possibly conceive that anyone would give a flying fuck about what your eating?????? This concept totally eludes Me. And while YOU think your honey gave you a puppy calendar .. what he REALLY gave you a 'pussy' calender. You get to look at cute puppies, and your hubby will soon be looking at your cute pussy. This is the REAL reason guys give ANY gifts to women. Just make damn sure you put a helmet on that soldier before letting it go into battle to avoid becoming like the person in the posting directly above you that I just wrote about.

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It's "Survivor" time.....OH YEAH! :)

OH YEAH! - Time to sit back and watch someone else on TV and wish my life wasn't so pathetic that all I do is watch everyone else live their life. Somebody please just shoot this person.

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So proud of -------, my kid who hates cheese, ate a grilled cheese sandwich.

Your kid just ate a grilled cheese sandwich? No shit!?! Please don't joke about something so serious! There are probably a few HUNDRED MILLION KIDS in the world the same age as your child .. but YOURS ATE A GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH!!! Son-of-a-bitch I'll be damned and dipped in butter!! Wait till your kid, who hates dick, comes home one day and tells Mommy and Daddy that he's gay and takes it up the poop shoot! Let's see your proud post then you pathetic twat!!

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And so ends another chapter in the pure stupidity of Facebook postings. And YES .. hard to believe, but there is more to come!

Praise Jesus

2010-02-22T06:37:00.003-06:00

Oh praise the Lord! Jesus I give thee thanks! God answers prayer! The Lord is so awesome!!

As I'm writing this, I'm slowly recovering from the worst case of strep throat and flu that I can remember having. I won't mention the fact that I probably got it from work, which is reason 153 of "Why Work Is Stupid!" Anyway, within a matter of about 2 hours, I went from feeling normal to laying flat on My back in bed with no strength! Now that's impressive! The next day I headed to the Doc and got on a pretty powerful dose of azithromycin, and sure enough a couple of days later I have some strength again, My 104 degree fever has broke and I'm returning to normal. Please note that I am NOT writing this for sympathy that I'm sick! I couldn't give a shit if no one knew that I'm 'under the weather' .. it's just not that big of deal!!!! I'm writing this as an example of observation of human stupidity by comparison.

Now there are several fascinating things to observe about this. The fact that a microscopic germ can bring a man to his knees is pretty damn impressive. The fact that a person can go from 'well-to-hell' in a matter of a couple hours all because a little microbe is reeking havoc inside his body is also pretty cool. Or the fact that it doesn't always have to be a volcano or massive tsunami to wipe out a big chunk of people. But I'd like to focus on the fact on just HOW I got well in the first place.

So many people today, in fact, I'd say a dangerous percentage of people, would give thanks to Jesus for healing them of sickness ... just like the Bible says. These same people don't even bat an eye to the fact that the FIRST place they went was to the damn MEDICAL DOCTOR to see what science and biology could do about it! In fact .. if you did corner these people about the fact that science made them feel better, they would just argue that JESUS gave us the knowledge to create antibiotics. It's really a no win situation with these people. It just pisses Me off that people are this ignorant to the truth in this day and age. That there is REAL, testable, demonstrable evidence as to why we get sick and how medical science can fix it. But these ignorant assholes would rather take the medicine, but give all the credit to the fact that their church put their sickness on a 'prayer chain' at the local church! Fucking assholes!!

If I had one wish, it would be that all these religious nutcases out there were not allowed to use man-made science in ANY PART of their lives. Everything and anything they need will have to come out of their magic book. Going by that theory, you wouldn't have a car, or running water, or electricity, or your tennis shoes, your cellphone, or your computer. Yeah .. I think a 1 month course in reality would shock you back into the real world. I would say that all you'd have left in your life would be to go live at your church ... but since there is so much science involved in that building too ... you wouldn't be allowed to stay there for shelter either.

So as I continue to feel better and recover from a massive ass whooping of strep throat, I would like to give a huge shout of thanks to all the people in the medical science field who have dedicated countless hours of their lives, just to ensure that other people don't have to suffer from ailments. No doubt, your efforts have made the world an incredibly better place to live in. And sorry Jesus ... since you had NO part in this equation what-so-ever, I give you NO praise, NO thanks, and NO worship! Sorry to pop your ego bubble. Amen.

TED

2010-02-21T06:20:00.004-06:00

Next time your bored and go on the internet to download porn clips, or get in a cyber game of World of Warcraft, or watch video clips of some guy singing the latest version of 'Numa Numa', or updating your Facebook page .. why not do something useful and go watch some TED clips?

What is TED? TED stands for technology, entertainment, design (I know ... it's a stupid acronym). TED is a conference held in California each year and is put on by the leading 'thinkers' and 'doers' in the world. YouTube has a lot of clips from this conference over the years. Topics range from science to religion, from animal intelligence to art, from global warming to how drastic our food has changed in the past 100 years. Just scroll down the list and find a topic that interests you, there is some fascinating stuff to view.

There are endless topics on very cool things given by people who have spent a butt load to time studying this stuff. There are professors, and artists, and comics, and just everyday people giving short 10 or 20 minute or so speeches. You may not learn 'who's sleeping with who' in Hollywood .. but you'll learn some cool stuff about LIFE!

So take a moment and resist the urge to find out what Tiger Woods is doing and expand the cranium a bit. Here's a clip to get you started that pretty interesting, oddly enough it's about crows. Enjoy! Intelligence of crows.

Density

2010-02-20T06:05:00.003-06:00

You know what the most dense thing in the universe is? Yeah yeah, My brain. FUCK OFF!

The densest thing might be a neutron. It has a measurable value of (about 10^-15 m in diameter) as well as mass (about 1.7 x 10^-27 kg). Or how about a black hole with a calculated theoretic average density of 4 × 10¹⁷ kg/m³. Now I don't even know what the hell that means since I just copied and pasted it from a science page I was reading. How about a neutron star? If you had one sugar cube volume of a neutron star, it would weigh about 100 million tons!! NOW THAT'S FUCKIN' DENSE!!!

My point is .. we don't even know what dense is! We consider a rock or diamond dense, but that apparently doesn't even hardly begin to describe what true density is. How about a black hole that sucks in ENTIRE PLANETS and it's gone without a trace! I'd say a black hole is pretty damn dense! A black hole actually crushes atoms it's so damn dense!

Did you know that all the atoms that make up anything have tons of space between them? There is literally MORE space in the composition of an atom than there is actual atom! What I'm getting at is all the stuff we see and touch has more SPACE to it, than it does STUFF! In other words ... everything we touch, feel, and see is consisted of SPACE by majority.

Going by that last paragraph, we SHOULD be able to pass our hand right through a wall, but of course we can't. WHY??? If everything out there is more space than stuff, then why can't we penetrate other stuff??? You would think out of all the stuff we've ever touched, or grabbed, or held, or walked on in our lifetime ... JUST ONE TIME all the particles would line up so they would miss each other and we would pass right through it. YES .. at least ONE TIME we should have taken a step and just sunk into the earth. Why doesn't that happen? Our foot is not dense, nor is the surface of the earth?

If a black hole can swallow up galaxies, I wanna walk through a wall dammit!!! Is that too much to ask? I want a car to come at Me at 100 mph and just pass right though Me. I want to jump off My deck and sink into earth and come out in China dammit! Why can't we do this shit? Everything known on earth is MORE SPACE than STUFF!!! I think if a black hole has the right to swallow an entire galaxy into nothingness, I should have the right to penetrate a porous sheet-rock wall with My hand.

These are the things that plague My mind since I gave up working for a living, and I love every single second of it.

ConfusLes

2010-02-19T06:13:00.001-06:00

ConfusLes here that 9 out of 10 handgun owners are afraid to fire their gun when their house is broken into and it ends up in the hands of the burglar. ConfusLes pretty certain HE is that 10th man.

Facebook Analogy Part 3

2010-02-18T06:31:00.007-06:00

Once again I will be analyzing pure stupidity taken directly from the pages of Facebook.

The postings are REAL, the names have been deleted to protect the purely retarded. Enjoy!

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Thank you everyone for the prayers !! My dad is still in ICU, heart rythem is finally normal, oxygen level is better, and he is getting to be a crabby old man!! Gotta love him! We will see what comes in mext few days! Thanks again to all!!!!

Ahhh once again a person who thinks 'prayer' saved someone's ass. You know what? If "prayer" saved your dad's ass, then what the fuck is He doing in ICU??? I don't think ICU holds prayer meetings to heal the sick. In fact, last time I checked it was highly advanced medical science that was in use to save people from the brink of death. Hey ... here's an idea for you. Next time your dad's on the brink of death, take him to church and lay him on the altar and pray about it and see how that works out for you. Dick head!!!!

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--- is snuggled under two blankets and is STILL freezing. I really want to be warm. Yet....I'm craving my chocolate fudge brownie frozen yogurt! That proves it. I'm a walking oxymoron.

Oxymoron? Not quite right. Take off the 'oxy' and I think the description fits much better.

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--- has a very resourceful child. She got VERY quiet, so I went looking for her. I found her in her closet....just standing there, holding a board up to her face. I said, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm playing hide and seek with my Barbies!" :)

1. Remove the board from your childs hands. 2. Whack board against your face until it becomes a softened, bloody, mass of swollen tissue. 3. Don't EVER post stupid ass shit that your precious little wad of sperm is doing again.

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Wow Mariah is going to be 7 months old on the 17th, time sure is going by fast!

Wow, Mariah will be 8 months in another month then. Mariah will be 2 years old in 1 year and 5 months. Mariah will be knocked up in 15 years and 7 months. Mariah will try Her first hit of acid in 14 years and 9 months. Mariah will buy Her first vibrator in 13 years and 2 months. Mariah will get raped by her uncle in 9 years and 6 months and because of it She will become a lesbian. Oh that crazy Mariah.

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Dishwasher going, bathroom cleaned, laundry folded, baby is sleeping and kids are on the bus all before 8:30am......Wow so far so good now I get to sit and have a cup of coffee.

Imagine just how pathetic one must be to post on the internet for everyone to see that for ONE morning of one day .. you actually were a mom. I'm sure the rest of the day consisted of staring at facebook, while texting your friends, and watching reality TV shows that you missed in the last week. Way to go June Cleaver.

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i need 1 nail 6 bricks 2 harnesses and 1 horseshoe thanks

I really have no idea what the fuck all these people are talking about. I'm guessing it's some interactive game on facebook where fucking farm animals is involved. I can only think that the creator of this game is laughing his ass off that all you sheeple are so massively involved in this stupid ass lame attempt to think you have a life.

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thank u for the bday wishes. I have the bestest friends ever!!

You remember that dick wad from "Facebook Analogy Part 2" that posted his birthday was tomorrow? Well here he is under the false assumption that all his friends remembered his birthday.

Note to dick wad : If you have to announce that it's your birthday just to get a bunch of people to give you birthday wishes, then MAYBE your friends aren't quite as good of friends as you might think. Dick wad.

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will be glad when the construction is complete. I have to go to the laundry mat again today :-(. On the plus side though, I can do eight loads of laundry in about two hours!

This is similar to hinting that it's your birthday. Posting some stupid ass shit like 'construction is almost complete'. It's just another lame attempt to FORCE people to ask "Oh .. what construction are you doing?" Then you get to believe that people actually are interested in your life.

And on a different note, do you SERIOUSLY think that it's spelled 'LAUNDRY MAT'???? You really thought that was the correct spelling???? 2 words Laundry and Mat!!!! WOW!!! Is a laundry mat the mat you step on when you go into a laundromat?? I guess this helps prove that the intelligence level has to be low in order to have a facebook account. Thank you for the confirmation on that.

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-- is eating a dark chocolate mocha almond granola bar. For supper. My children will be eating homemade chili with the babysitter. That's Wednesday for ya! :)

Have you ever eaten a dark chocolate mocha almond granola bar and immediately felt the urge to type it out for the world to see? Yeah .. Me either. And it's nice to know that you checked to see what your children will be eating for supper since you care about them so little that your not even going to be home tonight to raise them. What exactly is on the agenda that's more important than being a mom?? Going out to go get more dark chocolate mocha almond granola bars??? Well if you are .. I'm SURE we'll all read about that too!! Pathetic tit!

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“I’ve noticed that everybody that is for abortion has already been born.” ~Ronald Reagan

"Have you ever noticed that most of the people against abortion are women you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?" - George Carlin

And I'll put My George Carlin up against you Ronald Reagan ANY-DAY!!!!

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To celebrate Valentines Day, change your profile picture to you and your spouse/significant other and make sure to tell how long you've been together. Copy and paste this to you profile. --- and I have been together since June ---- Wedding Anniversary -/-/--

Let's see, My wife and I have been married almost 18 years and been going together almost 25. I'd say 24 of those years we have had vaginal intercourse, and entertained the idea of anal but just never was able to try it for real. She enjoys oral sex and I love a good blow job. One time she came so much that we actually had to get a new mattress. I masturbate a lot, but oddly enough My loving wife is almost always in My dreams too (how sweet) *wink*!

Is that enough information for you nosy fucks out there in Facebook land??? Why don't you mind your own fucking business and concentrate your efforts on YOUR ACTUAL LIFE .. instead of trying to impress all your cyber dick holes you call friends.

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Well that's a wrap for this time. Don't worry there will be more. It's as easy as shooting fish in a barrel ... check that ... it's as easy as staring at fish in a barrel. Actually, it's as easy as just having a barrel.

Facts you'd probably not guess about Me

2010-02-17T06:38:00.002-06:00

Here's some facts you may be surprised to know about Me.

1. I have cried over the loss of a loved one.

2. I donated money to the people in Haiti

3. I think human companionship is a necessity for survival. (just not for Me)

4. I believe there might be a creator of everything. I'm agnostic, not atheist.

5. I think there are thousands and thousands of extremely intelligent people in the world.

6. I understand why people in extreme situations fall into needing a belief in Jesus for support. I just wish I they would wake up to reality.

7. I have had countless heart to heart talks with friends and family.

8. I believe we need a government to have a functioning society. Just that it needs to be about 1/20th as big.

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So if you want to think I'm a cold hearted prick, that's fine and dandy by Me. A lot of the times, I am. I'm blunt, to the point, and rude. But I also feel that the world needs a bit of a reality check to be 'put in it's place'. I'm sick of the stupid ideology that this world is making reality. We should be forging ahead on to bigger and better things, but instead we are becoming dumber by the day, while religious dogma is on a violent increase in the world. Yeah .... without some shaking up to facts in the near future, we could all truly be fucked. I don't like to view Myself as a dooms day seer, but with our country butting in to everyone's business, Islam wanting to take over the world, and top it off with the fact that we live in a nuclear age .. well ... we might just be in for an interesting lifetime indeed. And if one day the missiles start to fly, and the world drops to it's knees looking for an invisible being to come and save their ass from the Armageddon that they are all praying will happen anyway .. I can sit back and say with pleasure, "I told you so!", just before a nuclear warhead hits My roof. Amen.

A video for creationists

2010-02-16T06:07:00.001-06:00

Here is a list of the TOP bullshit excuses why creationists don't believe the facts, and would rather believe in a magic space daddy instead ....... and also the reasons why they are just plaid stupid!!

Enjoy

In the News (voting)

2010-02-15T13:43:00.006-06:00

Sarah Palin says she might run for president in 2012. Assuming both Obama and Palin win nominations, who would you vote for?
Obama

30%

Palin

47%

Neither

22%

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Let's see ... 4 one way tickets to Switzerland $2500.00, moving expenses $5000.00, pay realtor and fees to sell house $6000.00, living in the land with 85% atheism and smoking weed is not illegal .... PRICELESS!!!!!

All My Rowdy Friends Have Settled Down

2010-02-15T06:46:00.001-06:00

All My rowdy friends have settled down ....... AND TURNED RELIGIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

What the hell happens to people when they get older? Are they all afraid to die or something? Did they just reach a point in life where they thought "Hmmm, I'm getting older, I better get My shit together with God!"

I have yet another friend who apparently has gone 'Bible' on Me. Yeah, someone who I could call up and bullshit with, joke around about stupid stuff, and even make a couple dirty jokes now and then. But not anymore .. now I'll get scorned for offending Him. Really?? I've known this prick for over 15 years .. and all of a sudden God came into His life and changed Him? BULLSHIT!!!

It's strange, the older I get the more I want to know the TRUTH about stuff. But it seems like the older other people get, they just want to fall into the pattern of what everyone else does. I guess everybody else is worried about being such a good person here on earth because they believe in the fairytale that they are going to live forever in the next life. Well I sincerely think God will be able to see through the bullshit of 'acting good now just to get a reward later' but what the hell do I know?

I guess each one of us has a choice to live any way we want, and for that I'm happy to be in the country we're in. The part that pisses Me off is that FACTS AND LOGIC overwhelming conclude that an invisible space daddy does NOT exist!!!!!!!!! YES ... there MAY be a creator out there ... but NO, you are not having a personal relationship with it. Nor did it send His Son down one day to die on a cross!!!! If there is a magical creator out there, NONE OF US have the slightest frickin' clue about Him, nor does He seem to give a shit about intervening in our personal lives, nor can you pray to 'it' and expect an answer!!!!!!!!

I predicted awhile back that all My friends would eventually fade out to next to nothing .. and sure enough it's coming true. Granted a big chunk of them finds Me too offensive and just a plain prick. Even still, a lot of them are just 'too busy' in their lifestyles to keep up on being friends, or have 'found GOD' and so friendships become second place I guess. Well, at any rate, at least I can say what I always say .. People are fucking stupid!!!! Because if your life is too busy because of God, or because of work, or because of your hectic lifestyle, then your living a very stupid life. Which is why I've disciplined Myself over the past couple years to just shut out the rest of the world and be happy with My dog. A good dog is all any real man needs in life anyway!!

So all you 'past friends' out there who now spend your days talking to thin air ... good luck to you. I predict that well over half of you will be right back in the gutter with Me in a short time, and the other half will go on and create a God in your head to get you through the rest of your life. I guess maybe it's a good thing, because anyone who needs to create a delusional entity in their heads to get by in life is probably not someone I could have stimulating conversation with anyway.

Money saving tip #13

2010-02-14T06:07:00.007-06:00

Well it's Valentines Day. A day of spending lots of money you don't have, on stupid, worthless shit that you don't need. It's like Christmas for women, only in February. Yeah I know .. it's for men too, but we don't really give a shit, nor would we create a HUGE scene if you just plain forgot about us on Valentines either.

Let's take a look at the standard gifts and see how stupid they really are.

- A dozen roses - Cost: about $60. Hmmm that's 5 dollars a rose. Have you ever been out walking and noticed some blooming plants along the way and thought "I bet I could cut one of those flowers off and sell it for 5 bucks!" Yeah ... needless to say buying roses is about as smart as buying bottled water .. it relies on human stupidity to make it work. Maybe that's why it does so well.

- A diamond - Cost: $100 to $10000. Another product that really has no practical value at all, but we are indoctrinated to believe that it symbolizes how high the 'love meter' goes in a persons relationship. Haven't you ever heard that 2 months salary is what you should spend on a girl for an engagement ring? And who made that up? That's right .. the same assholes SELLING THE DIAMONDS!!! Wake up people, buy her a cubic zirconium instead, save 95%, and if she's insulted by that ... then she's too shallow to fall in love with in the first place.

Fancy lingerie - Cost $30 - $100. Why go out and blow money on this?? As soon as the lights go out, you will no longer be able to see it, and I might add the whole idea is to get the clothes OFF! And once the lights are out, your just imagining 'doing it' with some hot whore anyway so what the point????? In fact, the only people who should be allowed to buy fancy lingerie are strippers!

- Perfume - Cost: $10 to $100. Again .. same story. Your suppose to buy the good shit that's made from whale sperm and the oils of seaweed of the coast of Africa or some stupid shit. It's the same pattern of appealing to YOUR stupidity, meanwhile making other people (smarter than you by the way) rich.

- A huge stuffed teddy bear.
- A bouquet of useless shit.
- A heart pendant.

It doesn't matter what it is .... it's the same stupid pattern every time!!

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Now here's some real 'money saving tips' that will get you the same results (getting laid), while spending next to nothing in the process.

Your tongue - Cost $0.00 - Use it .. abuse it .. don't ever loose it. This will get you a lot further than any 'gift' that empties your wallet. There is a reason that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body.

Booze - Cost $10.00 - You'll have a great time, probably do things you won't remember, and have a blast in the process.

Ice - Cost $0.00 - Use your imagination .. I did.

Chocolate sauce, pineapple rings, whipped cream. Cost - $6.00. - Uhmmmm .. you get the idea.

A rubber -Cost- 50 cents. - simple, but effective.

A love letter - Cost -$0.00 but it will take most of your manhood. Nothing says 'cream jeans' like a good love letter to woman. They eat this shit up, and after she's done crying tears of joy, she'll feel so guilt ridden she'll want to blow you.

Cum on Her face - Cost $0.00 - A great way to enjoy sex, save money on a condom, AND prevent a baby in the future.

Anal Sex - Cost - Your pride. HEY .. you'll probably NEVER forget that special day though .. and isn't the memories what it's all about in the first place. *note* - you may need a bit of alcohol for this to actually work, at least for the first few times (so I'm told).

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There you have it! Now you can choose to wine her, dine her and all that shit. But in the morning we'll both wake up with our face looking like a glazed donut, it's just that I'll still have all My money in My wallet. And isn't that what it's all about in these tough financial times? Have fun!

Catholic Corruption

2010-02-13T06:11:00.000-06:00

This guy just became My personal hero! Why can't we have someone like this guy in public office? You know ... someone with BALLS!!!

Facebook Analogy Part 2

2010-02-12T06:05:00.007-06:00

It's time for the second installment of Facebook Analogy. I won't bore you with the long introduction (see Facebook Analogy Part 1).

All of the names have been changed to protect the absolutely retarded stupid people in the world.

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Gods is so good,, God is so good, God is so good to me. God answers prayer, God answers prayer!!!!Thankyou Thankyou!!!

Uhmmm .. "Gods" is imaginary,, God is imaginary, God is imaginary to you. God DOES NOT answer prayer, God DOES NOT answer prayer!!!! You are a delusional dumb ass!!! Yourwelcome Yourwelcome!!!

If your referring to your back surgery, that would be MEDICAL SCIENCE that saved your sorry ass, but thanks for spitting in the face of years and years of research just so you can praise your imaginary friend. Idiot!!!

Pondering the idea of love and how just like God, you can not touch, see, smell, or taste it...it can't be explained away by any biological means whatsoever, but it still exists. Most people just don't deny love. They'll take the feel good stuff but they won't take the tough stuff...the part that holds you accountabl...e. ~"God is love" 1 John 4:8

NOPE! God is NOT LOVE. Love is an emotion. God is an IMAGINARY thing you create to make you feel better. The same way when you were 3 years old and needed a teddy bear or blanket to make you feel safe, nice thought, but it's all bullshit. You know .. bullshit .. kinda like the consistency of your brain matter.

Getting ready to watch my little girl dance. Well, I guess she isn't so little anymore. I will take pics and post them later.

Do Me a favor would ya. Instead of taking pics of your spawn for everyone to see, why don't you put a loaded gun up to your temple and then we'll ALL be happy!

OMG I just saw commercial for another Reality TV show called RuPaul Drag race..What next?

OMG .. I'd bet My last dollar you'll be watching it!!!!! WHY??? Because your a worthless piece of shit who substitutes your life for that of someone on TV!! THAT'S WHY!!!

I can't believe the girls and I slept from 4 pm yesterday until 6:30 this morning...

You know what I can't believe? I can't believe that 1000's of people write stupid shit like this for other people to read .. that's what I can't believe.

Went out and bought a steam mop and its my new best friend!! My floors are clean again!!!

Wow ... I mean fucking WOW!! THAT is bar-none exciting!! I was so God damn worried about your dirty floors I could hardly sleep at night. I LITERALLY was thinking of slicing My own wrists because My life was just too good because My floors were clean, and yours were dirty. My guess is your second best friend runs on batteries.

--- says Tenley needs to get the helium out of her voice and stop dancing for the man you are trying to win. I was embarrassed. But Vienna is next, so it can only get worse.

Now I don't even know what the fuck this person is talking about. But I'll make a wild shot in the dark even though I've never heard of any of these names before. She's watching some stupid ass reality TV show. Am I right?

my last evening being 29....sigh.

Ahhhh the old "HERE IS MY DESPERATE PLEA TO FORCE PEOPLE TO REMEMBER AND WISH ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINCE I'M SUCH A PATHETIC AND SHALLOW HUMAN BEING" trick. This shit is done in dozens of different ways .. all with the same stupid results. That is .. in the end, you end up looking like a pathetic ASS !!!!!!

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Until next time, keep typing people. My views on stupidity of people becomes closer and closer to a scientific theory each and every day.

Quantum Physics

2010-02-11T06:31:00.003-06:00

If you ever thought you reached a point where you think you kinda know it all, that everything in life is pretty much easily explained. That perhaps you think you might have life figured out. I got two words that will change all that .. quantum physics.

Yeah .. if you ever want to pull your hair out and make your brain explode, try delving into the world of quantum physics. It's unbelievable.

I talk a whole lot about the stupidity of people, in fact, they are pretty much My career and main source of entertainment. But I'm talking about the everyday 'Joe' out there, of which is most of us! But there are people out there who really, REALLY, got their crap together! I can't even begin to think how they figure this stuff out, it's mind numbing! And even when these people know so much more than you or I .... they STILL DON'T KNOW SQUAT on the grand scale of things.

I always find it interesting to observe levels of peoples intelligence. I might look at a 20 story building and think, "Wow, the engineering that went into making this is incredible." But then I'll think about people who made the space shuttle, and then the 20 story building don't mean much anymore. And then the people who calculate how the universe is expanding and the composition of the molecules that are in deep space, and then the space shuttle don't mean much anymore. And the guys doing quantum physics who are figuring out things THAT WE HAVE NEVER EVEN SEEN WITH THE HUMAN EYE YET ....... and I'm left just totally dumbfounded. These guys can't even prove this stuff exists .. but yet every single mathematical calculation that they do to test it comes out 100% accurate every time! Did that last sentence make any sense? NO .. well welcome to quantum mechanics !!!

And to top it all off, we probably haven't even put a scratch on the tip of the iceberg yet!

In fact, if you want to watch a movie that tries to explain some of this stuff in more of an everyday terminology, I recommend watching "What the bleep do we know?" I think you need to be stone drunk, or high on drugs to be able to understand all that this movie has to offer because I had just a few cocktails and I was LOST!!! Good luck if you do watch it.

I guess there is a saying in the scientific community that sums it up. It says, "If you're not completely confused by quantum mechanics, then you do not understand quantum mechanics."

In the news (Haiti court stupidity)

2010-02-10T19:08:00.005-06:00

A Haitian judge ordered the release of 10 American missionaries who were arrested for taking 33 children and trying to transport them out of the country, Reuters reported, citing an unnamed judicial source.

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GOD DAMMIT GOD DAMMIT GOD DAMMIT GOD DAMMIT GOD DAMMIT GOD DAMMIT GOD DAMMIT GOD DAMMIT GOD DAMMIT GOD DAMMIT GOD DAMMIT GOD DAMMIT GOD DAMMIT !

God dammit.

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And here's something you may NOT know about this twisted bitch!

She enlisted members of her Baptist church and told them she had all the necessary paperwork. She even found a Kentucky couple, Richard and Malinda Pickett, who had been trying to adopt three siblings from Haiti and told them she could get the children out.

The Picketts say they politely declined, figuring the youngsters were safe and would soon be evacuated to their new home.

"My wife told her that under no conditions should she try to move the kids—that would just interfere with our plans. But she called two more times, and the last time she called, on the 25th, she said she was getting on a flight and would like to pick up our kids," Richard Pickett said. "My wife, for the third time, told her no way—stay away from them."

A few days later, Silsby and nine other Americans were charged in Haiti with kidnapping for trying to take 33 children out of the country without proper documentation. The 10 defendants remain in jail in Haiti.

A closer look at Silsby shows that the adoption fiasco followed a certain pattern seen in her life. The 40-year-old businesswoman and mother of three has been known to make big promises and big plans that often give way to questionable behavior and legal action.

Court records show she has a habit of failing to pay employees, creditors and taxes. In the last year alone saw her home go into foreclosure and watched a number of legal proceedings against her and her business wend their way through Idaho's courts.

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What can you say about all this? Praise Jesus I guess.

ConfusLes

2010-02-10T06:18:00.001-06:00

ConfusLes wonder: What Jesus thinks when He realizes that the image of His grizzly death on the cross has been turned into the most lucrative, money grubbing logo in human history. And that 2000 years later, it's still raking in mountains of cold, hard cash .. mostly from poor people.

Go Red For Women

2010-02-09T06:06:00.000-06:00

Here we go again, new disease .. same BULLSHIT!!!

This time it's heart disease for women!! This is NO DIFFERENT than the 'Tough Enough To Wear Pink" bullshit that WOMEN have created!

What the hell is it with you women anyway?? Do you honestly think YOUR the ONLY fucking gender on this planet?? What a bunch of arrogant BITCHES!!! Your stupid campaigns actually make Me wish that you GET HEART DISEASE .. and throw in some breast cancer to boot!!! FUCK YOU!

Do you see men trying this one sided bullshit? NO !!!!!!! And do you know why? Because ONE - were not that arrogant to think that WE MEN are the ONLY IMPORTANT ONES to get a disease, and TWO - we'd never get away with it!! You women would have us crucified on a cross if we came out with campaigns that say 'CURE BRAIN TUMORS .. (but only for men)'.

It really blows Me away just how big of balls women can have, it's almost impressive if it wasn't so self-centered and lame. Personally, I'd rather donate money to 'Help a porn star get a bigger dick' than to give to your ego-fattened, one sided bullshit you spew out so boldly.

So in closing, next time I'm in a co-ed bathroom, I will do the right thing for you ladies .. I'll leave the seat down for you, and then piss all over it. Have a great day you arrogant twats!

My Solemn Vow

2010-02-08T06:15:00.007-06:00

I swear on My Dad's grave, that if this woman runs AND WINS in 2012, I will be moving OUT of this country for GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Switzerland .. here I come!

It's gotten to the point where I wouldn't even fuck her anymore!!!

FaceBook Analogy Part 1

2010-02-07T06:12:00.010-06:00

Have I ever told you I have the coolest wife in the world? Yeah .. we all say it, but I think only I can prove it. My loving wife has continued letting Me view Her Facebook account without complaint. It's been a love/hate thing for Me. I love watching just how stupid people are, and I hate the fact that people are so fucking stupid!!!!!!! It's entertaining, and bad for My blood pressure at the same time .. but life is full of risks so what the hell.

The other good news is I've found a incredibly easy way to study human stupidity. I used to have to interact with people to do this, like talking with people, or going to Walmart .. both of which I hate doing. Now nothing beats the real thing, but observing Facebook stupidity is a close second.

So I have cut and pasted some of the dumber things I've seen over the past couple weeks for you to enjoy. I won't put their names up as to not piss these people off too much. But that would assume they actually read My blog (HA HA HA)!!! And if it's still a privacy violation, who gives a shit, I'll take the chance. Enjoy.

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We are in a winter storm advisory again. Makes it difficult to plan things. My daughter is due with her 9th child any day now and I cannot even get out of my driveway because the city dumped a very high drift in my driveway and I cannot shovel it. Have to wait until someone can come in with a bobcat.

Seriously??? 9 FUCKING KIDS?????????? What you may not know is this lady has ANOTHER daughter who also has 8 or 9 kids. Let's see, 4 original people now have become 22 PEOPLE!!! Yeah, that's intelligent. 22 people, of which I would guess 22 of them are probably on or going to be on government assistance! Nice. Thank you!

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If your Dad is your hero, whether you are blessed to have your Dad still with you, or if he has gone to be with the Lord, copy and paste this with his name

Yeah .. that's original. YOUR DAD is a hero! I guess My Dad was just a lump of shit compared to YOUR Dad. Might I say that almost EVERYONES Dad was a hero to them, hence why the fuck even bother with this stupid shit in the first place??? Asshole!

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*** is listening to Mason sing his little heart out to Johnny Cash...word for word!!!

Well good for YOUR KID!! Might I add that there are 400,000 of them little fuckers born every single day in the world?? Why would I give a shit that YOUR kid can sing some gay country lyrics. Oh .. and way to condone inbreeding you stupid hick!

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The color of your bra made the news BUT WILL THIS? Lets SUPPORT our Troops. If you support our Troops then please post this on your status and leave it there for one hour. There should be no excuses from anyone!!!!! This should appear in everyone's status! Please do this for the ones that make this the Land of Free and... the Home of the Brave!!

More gayness in action. We ALL support the troops!! Hell, I feel sorry for them! They got conned into thinking what their doing is fighting for FREEDOM and DEMOCRACY, when in reality, they are fighting for OIL and GREED!! Needless to say, they are all heros so why the fuck post something so damn obvious???

-------------------------------

**** well I am calling it a night..

WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! While your at it, take some sleeping pills .. lots and lots of sleeping pills!!!!!!!!!!

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Chad made vegetable soup and I made apple crisp. We make a great couple!

Well thank you for sharing the fact that two grown adults have the ability to create a meal. I'm shocked I didn't hear about this on a FOX NEWS ALERT since it's such an earth shattering event, followed by the fact that I took a shit, and later My wife peed. Dip shits!!!!

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And there's more folks. Oh soooo much more. Trying to get to the bottom of stupidity on Facebook is like landing on the moon and claiming you've explored the whole universe!! Stay tuned for another episode of "Facebook Analogy" coming in the near future.

ConfusLes

2010-02-06T06:29:00.001-06:00

ConfusLes think: I wonder if God wonders where He came from?

Building an empire

2010-02-05T06:02:00.002-06:00

The United States has over 1000 bases spread out around the world. ONE THOUSAND!

Now think about that for a minute. 1000 'United States' military bases .... that are NOT in the United States!! Does something seem wrong with this picture?

Ask yourself just how many foreign military bases YOU would tolerate being built right here in the good old U.S.A. Would it be a safe bet that if China came over here and built JUST ONE base smack-dab in the middle of the country you'd be highly pissed??? Imagine if they built 10 bases .. or a hundred! Who the hell would tolerate that?? No one!!!!!!

Think of the cost involved in running all those bases. Just feeding all them troops!! We have like 350,000 troops scattered across the globe!! Imagine the price tag of supporting 1/3 of a million military personnel across the globe. I don't know what these numbers are .. but they must be staggering to say the least.

We have:

33,000 troops in Japan - for what?? Quality inspections on Hondas???

57,000 troops in Germany - uhmmmm, the last I heard, WWII is over, the German wall has crumbled, and the Cold war is history too. But the troops remain.

10,000 troops in Italy - No doubt a massive threat against the United States

1,500 troops in Belgium - overseeing chocolate factory terrorism ????

1,500 troops in Bahrain - where the hell is that???

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I don't know. Maybe I'm oversimplifying the whole thing, but it just seems stupid. If you look back in history of all the 'big dogs' who went around trying to take over the world, every single one of them got their ass whipped eventually. Why even bother in the first place? Not to mention how the rest of the world feels about our presence in 'their' business. Or might I add the fact that for the first time in history, we are living in the NUCLEAR age where we actually have the capability of wiping out life on the entire planet. I'm pretty sure Alexander the Great didn't quite have the capability of an atomic weapon, unless there is something about horses and swords that I don't understand.

I guess I'm not even allowed to comment on this stuff, because I live in poverty and consequently don't pay taxes. Maybe it's best that I just manage My own little country, "The State Of Les", and let the rest of the world continue with their own stupidity. That's about the only way I find happiness in the first place, not caring what anyone else is doing in the first place.

In the news (Haiti kidnapping)

2010-02-04T15:26:00.004-06:00

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti (AP) — Ten members of a U.S. missionary group who tried to take 33 children out of Haiti after the nation's devastating earthquake were charged with child kidnapping and criminal association on Thursday, their Haitian lawyer said.

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Sometimes news can be good. Like when a Christian group thinks it has the right to steal children from their parents in the poor land of Haiti, and then gets caught kidnapping!!! But since they were kidnapping in the name of God, that was supposed to make it OK .. well guess what, IT'S NOT!!!

But look on the bright side, you'll have plenty of time to pray about it behind bars. Enjoy :)

Evolution is only a theory

2010-02-04T06:27:00.002-06:00

FLYING FISH!!!!!

Yeah .... there's no proof for evolution at all. There is no proof that all life came from the waters. God just created every creature unique and none of them evolved into something else.

There is also another fish called a 'mudskipper' that basically crawls out of the water for awhile, then goes back into the water again. But that's not proof either if your a bible thumper.

Not to mention whales are NOT fish, but mammals .. which came from LAND!!!

For an even BETTER view of these awesome flying fish, click HERE ... and if your in a big ass hurry, just go to the 4 minute mark.

Enjoy!

Mars Rover

2010-02-03T06:07:00.001-06:00

This is soooooooo damn cool, and yet I would bet that 9 out of 10 people don't even know that were doing this .. but I bet they have the latest ring tone for their cellphones!!! So sad.

If this doesn't strike you as amazing, go out one clear night and spend a few minutes looking at mars, and then realize that there is a little vehicle out there buzzing around that's being controlled from earth!! And I thought My remote control cars were cool ... not a chance!

And if you don't know how to find Mars, get on the internet and download a 'Stellarium' program that will show you a whole shit-load of cool stuff you never knew existed.

The Universe

2010-02-02T06:09:00.001-06:00

Sorry, it's not quite as good as the "God snapped His fingers and took a nap on the seventh day" story .. but at least there's some truth to this one!!!

And if this video doesn't leave you in awe with your jaw on the floor, then you truly are a soulless bastard who deserves eternity in hell.

I'm a genius

2010-02-01T06:34:00.000-06:00

Oh man .. just when I thought I've tapped all My sources and must be out of great ideas to improve the world .. I come up with a incredible idea that will change EVERYTHING!!

You know those USB ports that are on every computer now days? You can plug in a mouse, or plug in a fan to cool your laptop, or plug in a reading light, and countless other things.

Well .... I say, why not use the USB port to POWER YOUR COMPUTER!!!!!!!!! Sure .. since your USB ports are powering everything else .. why not just use them to power the whole computer, hence you'll be powering your computer FOR FREE!!!!! TOTALLY FREE ELECTRICITY!!!

Oh I wonder what the good Lord has in store for Me next!! Your welcome.

Pray for Me

2010-01-31T06:08:00.003-06:00

Why the hell does everyone pray? Is everybody just F-ing stupid? Why don't people see the link between 'praying' and 'prayer NOT working'? What the hell is wrong with everyone?

These are big questions that may never be answered, but they still piss Me off.

Prayer has been scientifically proven to have NO BETTER ODDS than that of random luck! They have done double blind study after study on this! Maybe it's just God trying to trick us. He doesn't like being put to 'the test', so when we test Him .. He makes it not work! Yeah .. that's it.

I cannot prove that there is no God, nor can you prove that there is. But I can prove that prayer does not work .. and yet everybody still does it! I just don't get it! To go one step further, I prove that there is no God because prayer doesn't work. The bible talks about prayer and praying all the time, and how important it is. Well now ... if prayer has been proven to NOT WORK, then I might add that your magic book don't work either! But people won't put that together for some reason. Hell, I can't even get them to believe that prayer is full of shit!

I once again must come to the conclusion that I always come to, but wish I wouldn't. And that is people are just plain fucking stupid!

I think about George Carlin and what He said about prayer and can't help but chuckle a bit. He talks about how God has a divine plan for each and every one of us .. all laid out so perfect. And here we are on earth with billions of prayers going up in the sky all the time, each and every one of those prayers will alter God's divine plan in some way. Why the hell would you expect God to answer your feeble little prayer just to fuck up His master plan??? Not to mention, with all those prayers you'd have some people wanting rain, some people not wanting rain, some people wanting the Vikings to win, some people wanting the Saints to win, some people wanting to win the war, but the other side is praying to win the war too.

STOP THE FUCKING STUPIDITY ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy crap people are dumb!!!! People in this country have got things so fucked up backwards that if you dare say you don't believe in prayer your looked at like some evil nutcase .. when just the opposite is true!!! AND I CAN PROVE IT!!!! But that doesn't seem to matter! America just insists on being a backward ass country compared to much of the rest of the world that is leaving us in the 'bronze age' dust! Is it any wonder that on a scale that shows how many people believe in scientific evolution, we rank 34th out of 35 of industrialized countries. How sad.

I'm doing My part to try and change the world, but I can't do it alone. In fact some days, all I can do is sit back and observe all you idiots while every time you pray, you get let down .. again, and again, and again, and again.

I leave you with a quote that just about says it all.

TWO HANDS WORKING CAN DO MORE THAN A THOUSAND CLASPED IN PRAYER - ANONYMOUS

S.B.S.

2010-01-30T06:28:00.001-06:00

S.B.S. - That's the disease I have .. and I love it.

What is SBS? It's a made up, fictitious disease which stands for Speedy Brain Syndrome. I would argue that if I went to the doctor and told him about it, they would certainly find some 'real' problem and diagnose it and give Me some medication for the rest of My life. What kind of solution is that except for the pharmaceutical companies who get RICH off of you??

I've also been stricken with L.B.S. (large belly syndrome), and R.O.S.S. (random organ shutdown syndrome) among others .. but you don't see ME going to the doctor about it!! It's all just silly bullshit because bottom line is I'm just retarded .. plain and simple. But SBS really does have some truth to it!

Basically, SBS means your brain is always going in 100 different directions. Your ALWAYS thinking/wondering about something. Concentrating is very hard to do. To focus on one thing, and keep your attention is very difficult. There is always 10 other things that come into your mind that make you sidetracked. But here's the thing ... I LOVE IT!!

Ever since I got SBS, life has been really interesting. I no longer take peoples word for stuff like I used to. I CONSTANTLY question everything and everyone, and I find that the majority of times .. the majority is full of shit!!! Most of the stuff we do today is just stupid, from how we live, to how we spend, to what we believe.

I spend a great chunk of My life observing and questioning everyone ... EVERYONE!! While your out shopping at Walmart .. I was watching you. When your driving down the road texting on your phone .. I was watching you. When you thought I was listening to you talk about your great career at Christmas dinner .. I was watching you.

All the times I interact with other people, I'm really not all there. Part of Me is there, and I am listening, but My brain is going off on a tangent thinking about bigger things. Mainly that what your talking about is so unimportant, trivial, and stupid. Usually it's complaining about the dumbest shit in life that your whining about .. and one side of My brain is listening to you babble, but the other side is thinking how YOU brought all of your complaints on yourself. I basically link every complaint I've ever heard down to one thing .. human stupidity.

So if having SBS is dangerous, or harmful to a person .. so be it. If they find that SBS shaves 10 years off your life, I say "FINE AND DANDY BY ME!!!". Leave My brain alone .. I love it. Before I had SBS I just wandered around life accepting all the normal things that society deemed acceptable, a robot for the system. Now I walk around defiant of just about anything that comes My way. People say "YES" .. I say "What happens if we say NO?" People say "This is the correct way" .. I say "What happens if we do it THIS way?". It really pisses people off!! But when your convinced that people do the dumbest shit most of the time, you start to feel obligated to question it and try it another way.

By the way, I'm well aware of A.D.D. and other bullshit syndromes that doctors claim are real, but I don't care. If tomorrow I wake up and I have all the symptoms of restless leg syndrome, I'll live with that too!

In the News (Haiti Aftermath)

2010-01-29T06:23:00.004-06:00

Haiti amputees face desperate quest for limbs.

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Now I'm not making fun of Haiti here. What they got just plain sucks! It's a shitty, tragic situation down there, no 2 ways about it.

BUT!

I would like to 'CALL OUT' to God to finally put this debate to rest! That prayer really DOES WORK!!! I pray that all the Haitian people who lost their limbs be miraculously healed by the Lord our God. For it says in the bible, that anything we ask for in His glorious name, shall be done.

Well now I can't think of a more perfect time than to give back their limbs to the poor children and adults of Haiti. Surely a loving, just, and true God would find it in Himself to magically make their arms and legs grow back again! Would a God be so cruel that He would let innocent children go through their entire life without any legs or arms?? Haven't these poor people been though enough??

So My prayer has went out! There aren't many clouds in the sky so reception shouldn't be a problem. I'll check the news tomorrow and see if any 'magic' has happened down there. Amen.

250 THOUSAND PEOPLEz

2010-01-28T06:35:00.006-06:00

250,000 people .. that's TWO HUNDRED FIFTY THOUSAND PEOPLE!!! That's how many NEW humans are on this planet every single day .. every day of the year! Imagine that. This time tomorrow there will be 250,000 MORE people wandering around this planet. Around 400,000 are born, about 150,000 die, leaving a net profit of 250,000!

To put it another way (calculating the one's who died too):

Tomorrow, BOOM - All the people in Reno Nevada suddenly appear.

The next day, BOOM - All the people in St. Petersburg Florida suddenly appear.

The next day, BOOM- All the people in Baton Rouge Louisiana suddenly appear.

The next day, BOOM- All the people in Madison Wisconsin suddenly appear.

The next day, BOOM- All the people in Akron Ohio suddenly appear.

The next day, BOOM- All the people in Montgomery Alabama suddenly appear.

And this continues, every single day of the year.

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Does this bother you? Cause it does Me! Did you know that around 800 million people go hungry everyday?? Not that I care, but you would think people would stop breeding if they seen these figures. Can't we all just masturbate a little more? If these people in these poor countries grew up so poor, why the hell do they have a bunch of kids that they KNOW will also grow up poor??

Here's another way to look at it. There will be more babies born tomorrow than there are seconds in a day. Every single second around 5 babies are born .. EVERY - SINGLE - SECOND!

I find it odd that even the day the Haiti earthquake hit, we STILL probably had a NET GAIN of people in the world!!!!!!! When the Indonesian tsunami hit a few years ago, we STILL probably had a NET GAIN of people in the world!!!! Hurricane Katrina - no match for the breeding of humanity!

And I bring up this next point which will really show what a heartless prick I am .. but I'm just making an observance. You know when you find a couple ants around the house .. or maybe in your basement or something? And maybe you ignore it, then a week later you find a few dozen crawling around, then a little more, and a little more? Normally people set out ant traps or call the Orkin man to take care of the problem before it REALLY gets out of hand!! Or the fact that we have 'deer hunters' who go out every year and hunt the deer population down a bit. If we didn't, they would overpopulate and you'd find them laying dead all over the place. How come everyone just looks the other way when humans are doing this?

If some life form came along and flew around our earth, they sure wouldn't say "Wow .. look at how many black bears there are". They'd say "Holy shit .. this planet is being over run by humanoids!!!!!!!!!!"

Am I saying that some 100 foot tall can of RAID should come out of the sky and wipe out a whole bunch of us? Well ....... uhmmmmmm .. maybe I shouldn't answer that. In fact, I better quit while I'm ahead (or behind) and just leave you to ponder at our current worlds population status.

Let Me just say that next time you or someone you know has a baby, it's not as big of deal as you may think it is since it happens 400,000 times a day. Yeah, it's pretty cool that a living, breathing person comes out of the mid-section of another living, breathing person .. but it's by NO MEANS a miracle, but more of a common thing in nature .. and if you ask Me, a MUCH TOO COMMON THING IN NATURE. Amen.

WARNING !!!!!!!!

2010-01-27T06:22:00.000-06:00

Click on image for better viewing.

Money saving tip #12

2010-01-26T06:18:00.000-06:00

Here's a great way to save a few dimes each day. Get rid of half your light bulbs!

I know a lot of you out there have the new and improved light bulbs in your house that are supposed to last a lifetime, but usually last less than a regular bulb. Not to mention you paid 5 dollars a bulb VS 25 cents a bulb .. smart thinking. I'm not convinced that spending a fortune on these new bulbs is worth it. Everyone I talk to says they burn out quicker than a regular one, what's the savings in that?

Here's My brilliant idea. Those ceiling fixtures that have 3, or 5, or 8 light bulbs in them .. unscrew all but ONE!! I mean do you really need 6 light bulbs to see that your eating a bowl of Cheerios at your dining room table?? Here at the State of Les, we have a chandelier over our dining room table that holds 5 bulbs (sorry, it came with the house). I've unscrewed 4 of them giving Me a 80% savings every time we 'light up' to eat. I like to think of all those extra sockets as 'bulb storage'. As soon as one bulb goes out, tighten up another one and your back in business. Also, when we have a gourmet meal like shrimp, or steak, we turn in a couple extra bulbs for the meal ... as in a 4 star dinner, but instead it's a 4 bulb dinner. In other words, Mac N Cheese would constitute a 1 star (1 bulb) meal, a good homemade hot dish would be 2 stars (2 bulbs), and for the 'creme de la creme', like an all out Thanksgiving meal .. we screw in every damn bulb!! Martha Stewart living at it's finest!!!

And those ceiling fans with 3 light bulbs on them in the bedroom .. you guessed it, unscrew 2 of them. ONE light bulb is really all you need. And another thing .. next time your replacing your burnt out bulbs, kick it down a notch. If you normally use a 100 watt, put in a 60. If you normal use a 60, put in a 40. You'll never know the difference until you get your electric bill and see that it's smaller.

So once again, My genius mind and ingenuity have combined to give the rest of the world a savings in the pocketbook. Now I'm not saying I deserve a Nobel Peace Prize or Pulitzer Award, but if Barrack Obama got one .... well I think you get the idea!

The Rock

2010-01-25T06:05:00.002-06:00

I have yet another great revelation that just came to mind!

Everyone needs a giant rock (boulder if you will) in their living room!!!

Why is this you ask? Well a rock does a great job of retaining heat. Long after the sun goes down, the rocks on this planet are still giving off heat. How the hell do you think the earth doesn't turn into a massive ice ball at night? Not to mention it's been keeping liquid magma in it's core for billions of years. You see ... ROCKS HOLD HEAT!!

So anyway, you have this big rock in your living room. During the day the sun heats up the rock, and at night the rock radiates FREE heat for you and your family!! Now I know what your thinking. There isn't enough sunlight to heat a rock during the day, nor is it powerful enough rays. Well I already have that covered! You see, on the sides of your windows are mirrors, and those mirrors reflect light onto another mirror. That mirror reflects light in 'concentrated' form, right the the rock in your living room. This heat would be intense, and focused heat. By the time evening comes around, your rock would be a few hundred degrees, you could even use it to cook supper on. And all night long, you would have natural, radiant heat keeping you and yours toasty all night long. And of course your thermostat would never kick in hence saving you money too. This should be listed as a 'money saving tip' as a matter of fact.

So let's all get together and make a big coffee table rock the new trend. Perhaps it could be the 'gift of the year' for Christmas 2010!! Thank you.

Stupidity Alert

2010-01-24T06:05:00.005-06:00

As I type this, we are in a major winter storm that started out with freezing rain, then turned into snow and should dump 8-12 inches before it's said and done.

It's times like these that I wish I was God .. or at least a bird or something! Something that could float above the roads and watch morons attempt to drive down a highway with continuous 1 foot drifts across it. I just witnessed a moron in a little passenger car hit the ditch not 100 yards down the road from My house. Soon, more morons were coming down the road and stopping to see what's going on. I drove this road last night .. it's NOT GOOD at all. But I knew that the road conditions sucked the minute I turned onto it, these morons with their little cars knew it too, but they still pressed on and ended up in the ditch.

Now one would think that I, living so close by, would have gotten all bundled up and ran out to see if I could help. But you'd be wrong. I sat on My couch with a nice cup of java in My hands and watched out the window during the whole thing. You also might think that I was hoping that no one got hurt, but you'd be wrong again. My only wish was that they didn't start walking down My driveway looking for help. I know .. I know, I'm a heartless prick. But not really.

You see .. I have a hell of a hard time rewarding human stupidity. This storm was predicted a week ago, but yet there will always be SOMEBODY out there who is stupid enough to think they have to get to the mall, or go out and get some milk. I just can't see logic in this, therefore I cannot assist you in your stupidity quest. Helping stupid people is something that everyone does, so we all expect it. Hell, it's even what the government does! The government is a classic example of helping out poor, stupid, lazy people. But I have to 'stick to My guns' and say it's just not right. Maybe a little bit of misery will help you learn your lesson. Don't come knocking on My door because you were stupid enough to go out in this weather, I'm playing 'Hot Wheels' with the kids, drinking a nice cup of coffee, and I have 2 forms of dead animal cooking on the skillet making the house smell awesome!! But at the same time, thank you for the entertainment.

So this moron's day is ruined. That gallon of milk He needed so badly will end up costing Him around 100 bucks or more with the towing costs. And when the weather people and science say "Stay at home" or "No travel advised" ... do Me a favor ... stay the fuck home!!!!!!!!!!

Calling the shots

2010-01-23T06:07:00.004-06:00

A little bit about My work life (HA!) .. sorry, but it's funny to call it that. And YES, this is a post about My personal life .. but it's to help all of you out there!!

I would never say that work it great, or even good for that matter, but I have found a way to increase the odds in My favor greatly, and the employer just bends over backwards to accommodate Me. Here are some rules that I have for My employer in order to keep Me coming back at least another day.

1. Schedule Me AFTER all the managers go home! - I do NOT want to be here when 5 other managers are here all sticking their nose up in the air thinking their shit don't stink. 9 out of 10 managers suck! Schedule Me with the lowest peons on the totem pole ..they are the REAL workers at any job.

2. If you got problems ... people don't show up, shit gets behind .. whatever. Don't bother calling Me in to work!! -My home phone number is OFF LIMITS to My employer. I don't care if someone quits, I don't care if somethings late .. I don't care. I will come to work when I'm scheduled, but other than that .. I'M BUSY!!!!!!!

3. Don't ask Me if I'm interested in 'climbing the ladder' for the company. - Yes, I do have experience that would allow Me to do something of greater value than the peon job I'm doing, but guess what? I DON'T WANT IT!!! Do NOT ask Me to take over an open position because someone quit .. I have NO interest in it! Find some other sucker to take your amazing opportunity with tons of stress, endless hours, and pathetic salary pay!! I've observed every single one of you 'higher up the ladder' employees. NONE of you look very happy and content to Me.

4. Don't ask Me to go full time. - I already stated which days I'll be here and which days I won't. Don't bother putting Me down for any additional days, because if you do .. I won't be here.

5. If anything of importance comes up ... might be something like a spring play My kids are in, I'm not showing up for work. You may have Me down to work, but I ain't gonna be there .. deal with it. Family first ... work last! I'll be damned if I'm gonna miss important things in life for the worthless excuse of "Sorry ... I have to work!" Life is too short to use the excuse "Sorry .. I have to work!"

6. Don't ask Me to work holidays. I'm not getting holiday pay, so don't even bother asking Me to work them. That would be the job of the full time employees with benefits and vacation and all that crap. As far as I'm concerned, I have all the holidays off. Don't believe Me?? Put Me on the schedule for them and see if I show up.

7. Vacations. I'm not getting a paid vacation, so I'll take one whenever I damn well please! If I feel like taking a couple weeks off this summer. I'll take a couple weeks off. I might just take more vacation than any employee at the company! What the hell do you care? Your not paying Me for it!

8. Don't bother telling Me what to do.- Your half My age, with about 1/10th the experience of Me .. I think I can handle My peon duties without some teenager thinking they're superior over Me.

9. I don't work Mondays. - This is just a little 'quirk' I made up. Mondays are synonymous with the 'first' day of work, or the dreaded 'back to work' depression. I choose to sit back on My couch on Mondays with a cup of Java and watch the rest of the world go to work.

10. If My half hour break tend to bleed over by a few minutes on occasion .. leave Me alone, I'm having deep conversation with another employee on how stupid it is to live a 'normal' life. I'm out to change the world dammit ... one idiot at a time!

11. I reserve the right to make up more rules whenever I feel like it. If you don't like it, fine, there are 50 other jobs right down the road looking for people who actually 'work' when they punch in!

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And here's the real kicker to the whole thing! They listen to everything I say!!! They are HAPPY to accommodate Me! Why?? Because no one wants to work anymore! Everyone is pathetically worthless and lazy today. I actually have a good work ethic! I believe that when a person is at work .. He should actually work!!! So that's what I do, and they are amazed at Me! They think I'm frickin' Superman, but I'm not! I'm just the average, ordinary 'Joe'. It's everyone else that is worthlessly lazy. And the schedule I work is the one where they ALWAYS need the help .. but no one wants to work it, hence, they are tickled pink that I will be happy to show up during that time frame!

So even though I am working, it's nice to be in control. And the only reason I'm working is because I myself even feel guilty about sitting at home while both kids are in school and the wife works (stupid). If I had My way, none of us would be working and I'd be living in a little cabin far up in the mountains somewhere but I gotta bow to the wants of the others in My family (dammit).

But the reason I wrote this is not to brag about My life .. it's a challenge to all of you out there who are a slave to your employer. Sure .. your making more than Me, but at a HUGE cost when it comes to the amount of time, and energy, and stress it puts on your life. And if I haven't proven to you by now just how stupid it is to think you have to make a ton of money to live and be a slave to the system .. then I'll never prove it to you because you don't wanna listen.

So I challenge everyone to grab your employer by the balls and start telling THEM the way it's gonna be from now on. I dare say that at that point .. work ALMOST becomes enjoyable. Good luck!

Money Saving tip #11

2010-01-22T06:18:00.002-06:00

Well I'm a little early (or late) for this one since it's kind of a Christmas gift giving tip, but I guess it could work for other holidays and birthdays too.

You know those gift cards that everyone gives? Go get some! But here's the trick, don't get them activated (that takes money). Just randomly slip a half a dozen of them in your pocket next time your waiting in line at the checkout. Make sure to get the $50 or $100 ones .. don't waste time stealing the $5 ones.

Now when the time comes to give a gift, give them a card! It's that simple. And when they go to use it, they will be in for big surprise, but that's not your fault! How the hell can they prove that you didn't pay for the card and have it activated? They can't! And all that it takes is some good acting on your part, and your gift is as good as the real thing.

Chances are your friend won't even mention that the card wasn't activated, it might cause tension in the friendship. But if they do ask .. just act stunned, and then a little pissed off. Tell them your gonna go back to the store and complain to the manager. Of course you never will, but just saying you will is good enough to let your friends know that you care. Meanwhile you just saved a bunch of money.

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I am convinced that if a person applies all My money saving tips into their lives, they can all quit their careers and live happily ever after .. just like Me!

Breast Cancer

2010-01-21T06:22:00.003-06:00

What the hell is with you women and your stupid breast cancer ???? Is this just another national conspiracy to piss Me off?? 'Cause it's working !!

"Tough enough to wear pink" - eat My asshole!

Did you know that there are over 200 types of cancer? Cancer can form in any damn organ of your body it wants to. There's cancer of the brain, cancer of the lungs, cancer of the stomach, there's even cancer up your asshole!!!!! So what the hell makes you women so damn special that it's such a big deal that your tits might have cancer??

I'm sure it wouldn't be difficult to find a gentleman walking down the street with testicle cancer, but I betcha He ain't asking YOU to wear pink or some stupid shit like that! Jesus H. Christ ... what the fuck does wearing pink have to do with curing cancer anyway? You've even convinced men to go out in public wearing pink attire thinking they're saving the earth, when they really are just doing a great job looking like pussy whipped former males. Or changing the color of the milk cartons or soup cans to pink ... BIG DEAL?? Who the hell made you the queens of cancer anyway?? I had an ingrown toenail growing up .. you didn't see ME putting pictures of toes on your box of Wheaties did ya???

Besides, you should be so lucky to get breast cancer. It's something that's right on the outside of the body you can just slice off and continue with your life. Try that technique with colon cancer!!! I'm sick of you frickin' women bitching about something that EVERYONE has a chance of getting, but you dumb bitches feel the need to whine about it 10 times as much. Like your SOOOO MUCH more important than a little kid who has pancreatic cancer. You've gotta have ads on TV, and on the radio, on billboards and every other media outlet out there bitching about your diseased tits. Take your tits and shove 'em up your ass.

It's because of your arrogance of 'look at my tits' syndrome that I feel breast cancer should just be left alone to spread, meanwhile we can get some more humble people into the doctor and hopefully catch their cancer and kill it before it spreads. Thank you.

Money saving tip #10

2010-01-20T06:00:00.001-06:00

Snow removal .. it stupid!!!

Every year I've always done the same damn thing, it snows .. I go out and remove the snow. I even got anal and cleared a 10 foot wide path around the house to keep it nice and open. And what happens? A week later you just get more snow or maybe a nice 40mph windy day and EVERYTHING you did is all buried again. What a stupid idea to even think your a match against mother nature. You'll lose every single time.

I have formulated a new plan for snow removal that is not only time saving, but money saving as well. What is it? FUCK IT!!! That's right .. leave it there!! Snow is an awesome insulator for the home(just ask the Eskimos). If you have 4 foot drifts up against your house think of it as a GOOD thing! Just go out and plow a path around your vehicle, and a lane just wide enough to get to the road. Everything else can wait. Come April or so, go out and spend a few days moving it all out of the way so it doesn't thaw and leak into the house and over saturate your yard, septic .. whatever.

And another bonus, when people drive up to your place, they look down your long driveway and see that it's hardly plowed and they think that they might get stuck going down it so they leave! They probably think no one even lives there. How great is that? Peace and quiet too!

And for those of you who live in town, just clear a path from the garage door to the street. That's it!! Screw the sidewalks .. who the hell walks in the winter anyway?? As for the postman .. screw him too, what's he gonna do, hold your mail until the snow is gone? GOOD .. all he brings is bills anyway, who needs that? And if your really desperate you can go to the post office and get your 'held' mail anyway.

So I say once that first snowflake falls, all the way through spring .. let it fall where it may. Pile up to the roof for all I care, the more snow, the lower the heating bills (not that I have much of one anyway).

A cell phone and Your asshole

2010-01-19T06:07:00.004-06:00

I'm amazed at people almost on a daily basis. Mainly because I don't live like anyone of you out there, and I thank the imaginary God I don't.

It blows Me away that people don't think it's rude to be in a middle of a conversation and the second the cell phone goes off ... ALL STOPS .. while they check who may be calling!!! Isn't that what your voice mail is for?? Weren't you having a conversation with a REAL person before the phone when off?

To be so God damn rude to hold up your hand and stop the talking, just so you can pull out your phone to see that your buddy sent you a text telling you that "We should go drinking this weekend." Really .. REALLY!!!!! It was that important to check that out???

I've been with people who over the course of a short time have had literally a dozen calls or text sent to them, and each and every damn time everything comes to a screeching halt because some gizmo in your pants is vibrating! And here's the weird part .. all you people think it's normal. You haven't the slightest clue how rude it is! Your so impressed that someone out there is trying to get a hold of you for NO reason, that you are programmed to immediately grab your phone as fast as you can and see who it is. It's really sad. And 99 times out of a 100 .... NO ... I'll up the ante a bit .... 999 out of a 1000, it's of little or no importance at all. I have yet to be with someone who's cell phone went off and they were told that their kid just got crushed by a semi while playing in the street, but yet every time your phone goes off, you pretend that's whats happening just to find out that your spouse sent you a 'winking smiley face'. How cute!

Here's an idea for all you rude pricks out there. Think of getting a call like diarrhea cramps. You know, when your stomach is churning and you know the inevitable shitting your brains out is coming? When you're with other people and you feel a little uneasy in the stomach, it's a message to your brain that you probably have the 'Hershey squirts' coming soon. But you don't drop your drawers in an instant and shoot explosive diarrhea all over the room do ya?? NO! You're polite enough to wait for the proper time, then excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. It's no different than all of you dickheads who electronically shit your pants every time your damn phone makes a noise. So do the 'right' thing next time, wait for a while, then excuse yourself to take care of your business.

Is it any wonder I can't stand hanging out with anybody anymore? Is it any wonder that solitary confinement on a farm is viewed as a good thing for Me? Is it any wonder that every time I hear a cell phone I wanna grab a knife and plunge it into the owners throat? Is it any wonder that My dog (the only thing left without a cell phone) is the only one who understands Me anymore?

So in closing I present to you a cell phone and your asshole. Please put the two of them together. Thank you.

In the news (Haiti stupidity)

2010-01-18T15:16:00.008-06:00

Prayer and praise to God rise from Haiti's ruins

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**WARNING** Explicit language beyond what I normally use.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??????? Praying to God to help you after He just allowed tens of thousands of you to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What are you .. FUCKING BRAIN DEAD???? COME ON .. I realize that you're poor, and suffering and all that shit .. but are you really that FUCKING STUPID to top it off??????????

How in the hell can you think God is in control of everything, but then NOT BLAME Him for the earthquake????? If God truly does control all things ... He certainly could have stopped the earth from shaking and killing all you people!! How fucking stupid do you have to be to pray to a God that just slaughtered your nation???

People need to GET FUCKING REAL!!!!!!!! The earths plates shifted, causing an earthquake that killed thousands of people in an overpopulated area that is located right next to 2 fault lines!!! THAT'S IT ... END OF STORY!!! THERE IS NO MAGIC INVOLVED!!! AND THERE WILL BE NO MAGIC TO SAVE YOUR ASS EITHER!!!!!!!!!! The sooner people come to realize this .. the better off they will be. JESUS H. CHRIST PEOPLE ARE FUCKING STUPID!

--------------

And on another note, there are people bitching that dump trucks are hauling dead bodies and burying them in 30 foot deep mass graves. They are concerned that there is so little value in human life that they could just dump them off like common garbage. And how are the survivors supposed to know what ever happened to their loved ones??

Well now ... LOGIC AND REASON would say, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT THEM TO DO WITH 200,000 BODIES?????? Dig a 6 foot grave for each one, have a ceremony, and stick a cross in each spot??? Do you have any idea the disease that would come with 200,000 bodies rotting in the streets??? OF COURSE THEY ARE GOING TO BURY THEM IN MASS GRAVES YOU FUCKING RETARDS!!!!!!!

And the relatives don't know what happened to their loved ones???? Really .. REALLY!! I HAVE A GOOD GUESS. THEY DIED IN A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE YOU BRAINLESS TWIT!!!!!!! God damn people can make some stupid statements.

I swear these patterns I see in humans scares the shit out of Me. How long can we continue as a species if our brains keep going backwards?

-----------------------

So everyone out there pull it together and get some God Damn common sense. God did not cause this earthquake, nor will God be there to save your ass now that you survived! In fact, SCIENCE predicted this quake 2 years ago!!!!!!!!! Your relatives are being disposed of the only way you can dispose of this many corpses at once. If people with logic and reason were NOT there to make these decisions for you in your time of crisis, THEN YOU TRULY WOULD BE IN A WORLD OF SHIT!!!!

Your welcome ... and AMEN!!!!!!!!

Top 10 Stupid Things

2010-01-18T06:30:00.003-06:00

Here's a list of the top 10 stupidest things I rank during My lifetime. I would concur that eliminating the things on this list (well the first 9 anyway, and a dramatic decrease in the 1st one) would make the world an extremely better place for all of us. How we got these things to be widely accepted in the first place PROVES My theory that the world is getting dumber by the day.

10. REALITY TV

9. BOTTLED WATER

8. CELLPHONES

7. FACE BOOK

6. BABY FORMULA

5. GOVERNMENT ASSISTANCE PROGRAMS

4. DAY CARES

3. WORKING FOR A LIVING

2. RELIGION

1. And the number one answer ... The whole catalyst that makes all the other stupid things happen in the first place (drum roll) ...... PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!! It takes people to make any of the other nine things flourish in the world today ... lots and lots of stupid people. And we seem to have NO shortage of them.

If Churches Told the Truth

2010-01-17T06:05:00.003-06:00

S.O.L. - Dick of the Day Award

2010-01-16T06:03:00.003-06:00

Welcome to a new feature at the State of Les, the 'Dick of the Day Award'. This will go out randomly to a person who has gone above and beyond the normal means of just being a plain dick.

And to lead us in the first ever Dick of the Day, I present to you (drum roll) ..............

PAT ROBERTSON!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, Pat was intelligent enough to say the other day that Haiti's earthquake was brought on by making a deal with the devil. Well in fact .. here's the quote -

"They were under the heel of the French, you know Napoleon the third and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said 'We will serve you if you will get us free from the prince.' True story. And so the devil said, 'Ok it’s a deal.' And they kicked the French out. The Haitians revolted and got something themselves free. But ever since they have been cursed by one thing after another"

Since this quote he has back pedeled and told another bullshit story to explain what he really meant, but it's too stupid to even go into and he's lying to cover his ass, in typical Christian fashion I might add.

This is just one of many, many quotes that this man has said over the years that has continually gotten him into trouble and made him look like the person he really is ... a dick!! From agreeing with Jerry Falwell that gays, and feminists, and abortionists brought on 9-11, to saying we should go down to South America and 'take out' Hugo Chavez. All in the name of God, who by the way speaks to him on a daily basis (imagine that).

So congratulations Pat on receiving the first ever Dick of the Day award, I'm sure it won't be your last.

Haiti - Heaven on Earth

2010-01-15T06:04:00.003-06:00

Here are some interesting facts on Haiti. Oddly enough, most of these things listed below describe how all of us should live. If Haiti has another earthquake and gets rid of about 90% the population down there, I might just consider moving.

-Haiti is the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. - BIG DEAL! I'm the poorest person I know of in My area (according to government standards), and probably one of the happiest and stress free too.

- 80% of the population in Haiti is living under the poverty line. - Again .. this is a GOOD THING!

- Most Haitians live on less than $2 a day. - EXCELLENT! I commend you. Your proof that you don't need money to live and be a slave to the system!!

- More than two-thirds of the labor force do not have formal jobs. - Oh My God .. I'm starting to actually get a boner now! MOST of the people don't have a job ....... and how is this considered a BAD thing??

- Haiti has no regular military forces. The Army, Navy, and Air Force have been demobilized. - More money saved !!! And you don't see a lot of other people around the world trying to bomb Haiti either .. interesting how that works.

- And on a funny side note: China has committed 1 million dollars to help out the victims of the earthquake. 1 MILLION DOLLARS!!!! HA HA!!! Hell .. Spain gave 4.3 million alone, but China, the economic KING PIN of the world who probably sells 1 million dollars worth of shit to Walmarts across the United States every single minute of every single day has been nice enough to donate 1 million dollars to Haiti. What a bunch of dicks!!! They might have just as well sent a Hallmark card instead.

----------------

So there you have it .. Haiti is NOT one great place to live .. but it should be. They have everything going for them. They don't have jobs, they don't have a tax system, they don't have a military going around the world 'nation building' at enormous expense to the people, and they live on a nice tropical island where it's warm and they could just lay on the beach and eat coconuts all day. Aside from the ground trembling a bit now and then, or a occasional hurricane, I think this is a great place to live, and if they didn't have 10 million people living there and they were just simple folks living in straw huts you wouldn't have so many of them crushed in BUILDINGS!!!! When is the last time you read about a guy getting crushed in His straw hut??? I rest my case!! And if they didn't spend their days doing nothing but breeding, then the death toll would be like 20 and it would have hardly even made the news. Strange what happens when you put 10 million people on two fault lines.

I would guarantee that if we could turn back time and put Me on the island of Haiti to make it a nation, it would be the envy of the whole world. People would be quitting their jobs and selling their SUV's and cell phones and living the simple life all over the world.

God Evolves, beer is good, people are crazy

2010-01-14T06:12:00.006-06:00

Now continuing on from yesterdays country bumpkin, sister kissing song that I jokingly put up, I would like to expand on a topic of God, and how the God that we invent in our heads, evolves with each generation. To do this I would like to take apart this stupid song word for word. In case you missed it, see yesterdays blog and watch the video. Let's begin.

"This old man and Me,
were at the bar and we,
were having us some beers
and swapping 'I don't cares'."

"Swapping politics,
blond and redhead chics.
Old dogs and new tricks and
habits we ain't kicked."

"We talked about God's grace,
and all the hell we raised.
Then I heard the old man say,
God is great, beer is good, people are crazy."

"He said I fought 2 wars,
been married and divorced.
What brings you to Ohio,
said damned if I know."

"Talked an hour or two,
bout every girl we knew.
What all we put them threw,
like two old boys would do."

"We pondered life and death,
He lit a cigarette.
Said these damn things will kill Me yet,
But God is great, beer is good, people are crazy."

"Last call it's 2 AM,
I said goodbye to Him.
I never talked to Him again."

"Then one sunny day,
I saw the old mans face.
Front page obituary,
He was a millionaire."

"He left His fortune to,
some guy He barely knew.
His kids were mad as hell,
but Me, I'm doing well."

"And I dropped by today,
to say thanks and pray.
And I left a six pack right there on His grave.
And I said, God is great, beer is good, people are crazy"

**cue the church choir adorned in religious clothing**

Repeat "God is great, beer is good, people are crazy" about 6 more times in unison with the church choir.

--------------------

Wow ....... what a stupid, ass backwards, country song. But that part is a gimmie.

Soooooooooo ... where to start. Hmmmmmmmm. Young guy meets old guy in bar, they start chatting small talk, politics, women. All is normal. But then they talk about God's grace (in a bar), and then all the hell they raised. (kinda offensive in the same sentence I think). Then the old man says "God is great, beer is good, people are crazy." Now this seems to really go off on some odd tangent if you ask Me. Those words really don't go together at any given time. I would boast that God might be a little pissed at this statement if He existed according to Biblical standards.

More small talk continues as they keep on drinking the night away. Old man comments that cigarettes are gonna kill Him, and oddly enough they do a short time later. But He still thinks God is great ... yada yada. Next thing you know, old man is dead, His obituary reads that He was filthy rich, and He left His kids nothing and gave it all to a person He hardly knew. (kinda rude, but then I'm not country, so what do I know).

So the young man goes to the old mans grave, says a prayer and puts a 6 pack of beer on His grave. Hmmmmmm, prayer, alcohol, and grave desecration. How is this normal? And as the song begins to close out an entire church choir appears singing "God is great, beer is good, people are crazy". Did you get that??? A church choir sings beer is good, people are crazy! Now this should piss off quite a few congregations out there for sure.

This entire song borders on blasphemy of the Holy God ... and yet, it's accepted as a number one country hit across the United States. In bars across America this song is played and everyone apparently raises their glass of brew in the air and shouts "God is great, beer is good ......"

Now if this would have been proposed 50 years ago, I think there might be a price out on the singers head. But it's not 50 years ago, it's today, and it's much more accepted. God is not the vicious, jealous, pissed off God of the Bible, He's changed .. He's passive, accepting, lenient, loving, care free. Why did God change ... well ... He didn't, people did. People have changed God into thinking whatever they want to describe Him. And this is how it's always been. Thousands of years ago, God said stone people to death for sinning (it's right there in the big book, look it up), but God don't do that anymore .. because WE don't do that anymore. Why do you think we have so many different religions about so many different versions of God??? Because God evolves right along with humans ... because when it's all said and done, God is a figment of our imagination.

Now you might find it strange that someone would dissect this song and analyze it the way I have ... but I'm just strange enough to do just that. But the bottom line is things like this are exactly what changes our view of the imaginary God over time. Someone has a new 'take' on what he/she thinks God is ... people like the idea .. it's accepted, and now God is a slightly different God than He was just a generation ago. The only thing that drives Me nuts is that people don't see themselves doing this and realizing that THEY are making up God as they go. Instead they'd rather believe that God loves it when your plastered in a smoky, seedy bar, holding up your glass of pale ale, singing praises to His name.

In closing. God is imaginary, beer is OK, and people are just plain fucking stupid.

Wedding Song

2010-01-13T06:10:00.002-06:00

With the cold, frigid, January weather upon us, I forced Myself to think of warmer, happier times. Then all of a sudden I thought of My loving wife, and our wedding song. Here it is, direct from the stage at Our reception ... enjoy!

In the news (Earthquake in Haiti)

2010-01-13T06:00:00.003-06:00

President Rene Preval said he believes thousands of people were dead from Tuesday afternoon's magnitude-7.0 quake.

"Parliament has collapsed. The tax office has collapsed. Schools have collapsed. Hospitals have collapsed," Preval told the Miami Herald. "There are a lot of schools that have a lot of dead people in them." Leading senator Youri Latortue told The Associated Press that 500,000 could be dead, though he acknowledged that nobody really knows.

---------------

My take:

1. I doubt 500,000 people are dead .. but even if there was, that still leaves us with about 6,779,900,000 left in the world. Hardly a dent if you look at the big picture. Once we get a few hundred million all dying at once, THEN we can talk about some real headline news!

2. The United States is leading the way for relief effort. Really? REALLY?? I had this impression that we were fucking BROKE!!!!! And when's the last time you seen the Headline "Haiti rushes to the United States to help in emergency!" I don't recall ever reading such an article.

3. Haiti is about the size of Maryland, but yet they have TWICE the population of Maryland. There's 10 million people living in that little area .. one would logically conclude that if a natural disaster hit the area .. there's gonna be bad results. SOLUTION : QUIT BREEDING!!!

4. This is exactly what God said would happen in the last days just before His coming. Earthquakes, famines, floods. He needs a whole shitload of us to die a miserable death because He loves us so damn much!!! You just can't describe God's love for us in any way .... it's that damn powerful!!

5. Religious nuts out there will talk about this as a sign of the end times because there are so many deaths from natural disasters in recent years ... Hurricane Katrina, the Indonesia tsunami, the Haiti earthquake. Well ..... I hate to say it but there have always been natural disasters since the beginning of time. The REASON they seem so much more devastating is because there so many damn people on the earth!!!!!!!!!! 100 years ago, a big earthquake probably killed a 1000 people .. today that same earthquake kills 10,000 people. It's not because your magical God is getting pissed off ... it's because EVERYBODY DOES NOTHING BUT BREED ON THIS PLANET!!! If you want to make the headlines less devastating .. then keep that thing in your pants and quit populating and already overpopulated planet!!!!!!

6. Haiti is a hot spot for voo-doo and satanism and all that crap so you Christians should be rejoicing that God is punishing Satan by causing all those people in the schools and hospitals to be crushed to death. (Hey .. it's YOUR God, not mine. I don't get it either!)

7. Compassion for people is not My strong point. Amen.

Kindergarten (The real reason)

2010-01-12T06:13:00.005-06:00

"Overall, children who spend time in full-day kindergarten programs are more likely than children who spend time in half-day kindergarten programs to devote time every day to reading, mathematics, and social studies." - BULLSHIT!!

In our state, North Dakota (not the State Of Les), we recently passed a law making kindergarten a full day for the kids.

Now this has been passed along to the citizens that it's better for the kids, and that it gets them learning more at a younger age, and promotes good learning habits, and all kinds of stuff. And the parents just eat this shit up! "YEAH ... GREAT IDEA! I care so much about My child that I think full day kindergarten is wonderful!" What they're REALLY saying is "YIPPIE ... more free time for Me NOT to be a parent!!!" People are so good at bullshitting themselves!

You wanna know the REAL reason that kids are now in kindergarten full time? So parents don't have to take off work for 1/2 a day to raise their kids!!! Sorry .. but it's true! Kindergarten is full time because 'working parents' are behind the scenes making damn sure we don't go back to half days again. Kinda like the same reason the oil industry has made damn sure cars run on gas for the last 50 years even though better technology was always out there.

Need more proof? How about breakfast at school! Now it's not even the job of parents to feed their kids in the morning! Amazing. I hate to tell you a "When I was a kid" story but .... When I was a kid, we ate breakfast at home from a home cooked meal by this person called 'Mommy'. She would take us to kindergarten for a couple hours, then pick us up and we would go home where Mommy and I would spend the afternoon together.

TRY passing that story as truth today! HA!

Now I'm not stating that I have proof that 1/2 days are better, or that full days are more productive. I'm simply stating that the REASON for kids going all day is NOT because of the kids ... it's because of the worthless parents who make these decisions. It's all about the ADULTS ... not the kids.

Just another classic example of how in our generation, we will do anything possible to get rid of the kids that we are supposed to be raising. Weather it be putting them in school as much as possible and as early as possible, having them in daycare, or finding a sitter during the evening. It's amazing kids even know who their parents are anymore. I extend My middle finger to the typical parent out there today ... may you all become sterile. PRICKS!!

Facebook

2010-01-11T06:00:00.008-06:00

*WARNING* - long posting bitching about the stupidity of people!!

(breath in ... exhale)

OK, here we go.

------------------

Facebook. It would be hard for Me to describe anything more stupid, more lame, more worthless, more pathetic than Facebook shy of bottled water and religion. I throw out a lot of insults about people and stupidity ... some joking, some not ... but all kidding aside, I think you really have to have some sort of neurological disorder to have a Facebook account. To be so shallow that every little thing you do in life needs to be posted for everyone else to see .... it's so pathetic!!!!!

I have been fortunate enough to have been granted permission from My loving wife to be allowed to view Her Facebook account after the little 'divorce prank' I pulled last year. I swore up and down that I'm only on there to observe and that's all. And so that is what I've done, I've observed people and what they type, how often, and what they type about. And for all you who fell for the 'divorce prank' ... I say "GOOD"! I hope you lost sleep and grew some gray hair over it .. why? Because you need to get a FUCKING LIFE and worry about yourself!!!!!!!

I swear, I look at what you people type and think, "Oh shit ... we're doomed as a fully functioning society!" You people will type ANYTHING!!!!!!

-I rearranged My living room and I like it. WHO GIVES A SHIT, GET A LIFE!

-I took My kids for pictures and they turned out so cute. WHO GIVES A SHIT, GET A LIFE!

-I woke up tired and don't feel like going to work. WHO GIVES A SHIT, GET A LIFE!

-I can't believe how cold it is outside. WHO GIVES A SHIT, GET A LIFE!

-I'm cooking a roast today, and getting some laundry done. WHO GIVES A SHIT, GET A LIFE!

-I don't feel so good after going out last night. WHO GIVES A SHIT, GET A LIFE!

-I must get busy and get the kids ready for church. WHO GIVES A SHIT, GET A LIFE!

-I love My job, but it sure is hectic at times. WHO GIVES A SHIT, GET A LIFE!

-I'm thinking of taking the family on vacation next month. WHO GIVES A SHIT, GET A LIFE!

------------------

I could go on, and on, and on, and on, and on. You know why?? Because that's ALL Face Book IS!!! One person babbling (bragging) about absolutely NOTHING, after another person, after another person ... forever and ever!!!!!!!!!

And I know what your thinking. "If you hate it, then don't go on and read it!!!!!!!" Yes, yes, I know .. but your missing My point! I seriously worry about a society that seeks happiness by finding comfort in the fact of telling the rest of the world that "I had chicken noodle soup today and it was yummy!!" SERIOUSLY FOLKS ... this is what it's come to? REALLY!!!!!!

This obsession of constantly needing to know what everyone else is doing at any given time is NOT NORMAL!!!! And need I remind you that this is just ONE example of 'patheticness'. Add on the fact that you also have email, and cell phones with voice mail, and texting, and your regular phone and snail mail!!!!!!!! You people really, really worry Me! Do you EVEN know who your immediate family is anymore?????

I kind of see Facebook the same way as I see religion. Your either blinded by it and have NO idea how stupid it really is, OR your outside the bubble looking in at just how stupid it is. But I would encourage all you 'Facebookies' out there to take some time and actually LOOK at what you type, LOOK at what all your 'cyber freinds' type ... and view it OUTSIDE the bubble, and I think you'll begin to see just how pathetically stupid it really is!

And I would argue that most of you I'm sure are two income, ball busting, full time workers with kids. I wonder if you really ever spend time with them? I don't know how you can .. your ALWAYS typing of Facebook! I can picture it now ... "Mommy .. how come you never play with Me?" "NOT NOW .. Mommy's updated Her Facebook page!!!" OR "I'm too busy taking the 'How pathetic is My life' quiz on Facebook".

Is it really that hard to concern your time with ........ ohhhhhhhh ....... I dunno ... maybe people that you can SEE, and TOUCH, and MINGLE with (you know, that thing you call a family)! And I'm sure your excuse is .. "But that's what we DO on Face Book, keep in touch with friends and family." BULLSHIT!!!!!!!! All you do on Facebook is BRAG!! It's 'LOOK AT ME' syndrome ... and nothing else!! You people are so pathetic, your like a little two year old who constantly needs attention! You actually post "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY" just for the hope that some people will wish you well .. it's so sad!! But you don't come right out and say it ... noooooo .. can't do that! Your more sneaky. Some thing like "Jessica doesn't feel 37 today, She's more like a 20 years old with 17 years extra wisdom." Or you'll have your spouse write "Happy Birthday Honey, your the best!!" All in the hopes that SOMEONE will notice you!! But I would argue that no matter how you type it, it's the same pathetic 'look at Me syndrome' either way! Are all you really that starved for attention that someone typing you a 'smiley face' that winks as a response is enough to get you through the day???? REALLY!!!!!!! I'm curious .. what do you do for intimate needs? Let's see, going by your twisted Facebook mentality, sex with your spouse would be out of the question so I guess you take turns in the bedroom calling 1-900 numbers for satisfaction!

*****UPDATE****** As I'm typing this some shithead just typed, (I won't use the real name) "---- ----- is another day older today. Doesn't feel any different. LOL" A PERFECT example of yet another desperate plea for somebody, somewhere, somehow please pay attention to ME!!!!!!!! Absolute worthless LOSER!!!

And there's these yuppy idiots who type "Jeanie has an extremely hectic day today and is not sure how she's going to get it all done!!" Well now Jeanie .. apparently your day is not TOO TERRIBLY FULL since you've taken the time to write a totally useless note on Facebook. It would seem that Jeanie just want's what every Facebook dip shit wants ... someone to pay attention to her. Hey Jeanie, why don't you post your address so I can mail you my gun and you can put yourself out of misery since you apparently don't have a life to begin with!!

Also the idiots who thinks it a great idea to tell us when they wake up, and when the go to bed! What the fuck does anyone care if you slept in today???? GOOD FOR YOU ... You need a God Damn cookie you attention whore?? These people even post that they took a mid-day nap! I think some rat poison in your drink will solve the problem and hopefully cause a permanent nap!!

And you religious nuts out there. "Say a prayer for ME." "Say a prayer for ME TOO!!" Constantly asking for people to pray for you ... what a sorry lot of human dung you people are. "I'm going to take a shit .. keep Me in your prayers!" Like GOD is really interested that you sell you house quick, or that you get home safe after drinking all night. Not to mention prayer works about as well as 'wishing it were so'!!! So you can have 1000 people respond to your little 'look at Me' plea on Facebook, your odds are still gonna be the same shit luck as if NO ONE prayed for you. GIVE IT UP dumb asses!!!

-------

Well I can see that this topic can go on and on as I keep thinking of new crap that is so pathetic about Facebook. I may indeed have to make a 'Facebook Part Two' one day. In closing I would like to say that about 5% of Me would like to thank all you Facebook idiots out there ... you help fulfill my hobby of studying human stupidity, but the other 95% of Me would give it all up in a heartbeat to wipe out something as stupid and pathetic as Facebook from existence. And for the inventor of Facebook, may you be tortured until the end of time after you die for doing a huge part in increasing the stupidity of the human race. Amen!

Why believing in God is dangerous.

2010-01-10T23:44:00.002-06:00

'NUFF SAID !!

Cold is Hot

2010-01-10T06:18:00.005-06:00

The other night is was minus 19 degrees out in this God forsakin' land I live in. But that doesn't stand a chance against outer space.

The temperature in outer space is a balmy minus 454 degrees! Yeah ... not only cold enough to make your balls suck up into your body, but your balls would just plain fall off.

Minus 459 degrees is absolute zero. It cannot get any colder than that by laws of science. So the universe is a mere 5 degrees away from that. Hell, the dark side of the moon is minus 260 degrees.

I don't get how anything works at those temps? How do satellites move their intricate little parts? How does the space shuttle function? How is the Hubble able to adjust it's solar panels with it's little electric motors in that type of temperature?

It's hard to imagine the incredible coldness of outer space while laying on your back in the yard on a nice warm summer night. You just look out and see darkness, and total peace and comfort. But in reality, the universe in one outrageously cold, and extremely violent place.

So next time you get a chill because there's is a little nip in the air, 'Shut Your Piehole' because there are people living in planet Querletarizarbary that are freezing to death!

Something to make you think.

2010-01-09T06:12:00.002-06:00

What science tells us is that we are but one among hundreds of millions of species, that evolved over the course of 3.5 billion years, on one tiny planet among many, orbiting an ordinary star, itself one of possibly billions of solar systems, in an ordinary galaxy that contains hundred of billions of stars. Itself located in a cluster of galaxies, not so different from millions of other galaxy clusters, themselves whirling away from each other, in an expanding cosmic bubble universe, that very possibly is only one of among a near infinite number of bubble universes.

Is it really possible that this entire cosmological multi-verse was designed and exists for one tiny subgroup of a single species on one planet in a lone galaxy in that solitary bubble universe?

Seems unlikely.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Taken from Michael Shermer's book "Why Darwin Matters". It makes Me think just how absurd religion is to think that all that's out there is all for us humans and no one else. All that matters is one little species on one little microspeck of an seemingly endless universe and nothing out there exists because we are the special chosen ones made in His image. BULLSHIT!!!!!!!

No Media = Better living

2010-01-08T06:13:00.002-06:00

For the past ohhhhhh ... five years or so, I pretty much quit watching TV. I didn't do it on purpose, it wasn't planned, I just found other things to do. Maybe the internet took over, I don't know. All I know is that ever since I quit watching the boob tube, My life has slowly changed to viewing things a bit different than the rest of the world.

Now I admit, I use the internet. I love the internet. If the internet had a vagina I would ... well, you know! But I don't surf for porn, nor do I play online games, nor do I update 'My Space' or Facebook accounts (stupidest thing on earth). I spend a butt load of time trying to figure out shit, or learning how stuff works. It's the internet that help Me realize the history of religion, and that it's all bunk. It's the internet that I learned how to install in a wood stove. It's the internet that teaches Me about the Universe. It's the internet that showed Me how to adjust the clutch on My 4 wheeler. It's the internet that taught Me how to fix My 60 year old tractor. It's the internet that shows why Jesus didn't live with dinosaurs!!

It's research on life I guess. And I spend a lot of time looking at scientific backed sites. Even You Tube has sites that are created by real scientist, with real degrees, from real universities, all over the world. These are intelligent, rational, people who have spent a huge amount of their life devoted to figuring shit out, and as a bonus, they put out videos for morons like Me to help explain the stuff that they've figured out!

Anyway, it's interesting to mingle with society now that I'm working a little again. It seems that everyone has a very different version of life than Me. I know, I know, I'm the one who's retarded, everyone else is normal. FINE .. if that's how you see it, I don't care. Just listening to people in conversation is so weird to hear what they talk about. Most of it is so pointless, so meaningless. People get worked up and stressed about all this shit that I really don't have much memory of getting stressed at anymore. Their views on life used to be My views, until I quit watching the TV. I can just listen to them, and hear what they say as the same thing the media says. In essence, their brainwashed into believing what they hear. It's kinda sad and a little scary actually!

And in case your thinking that I'm spouting off on how much better I am than you .. DON'T. That's not it! I'm no better than anyone else out there, I'm just way more judgmental than any of you .. and as a bonus I like to point that out, LOUDLY I might add. Don't worry .. I catch Myself in the stupidity moments also, and I also try to point that out too.

So I think some blog I wrote, long, long ago I mentioned to try to give up TV and see how you like it. But here I am again, with the same plea to you. Stop watching TV and you'll slowly notice the world seems to get dumber and dumber, right before your very eyes.

False Alarm

2010-01-07T16:00:00.003-06:00

I thought I had strep throat. But then upon closer examination, the white spots were just leftover saltine crackers crumbs in the back of My throat.

ConfusLes

2010-01-07T06:09:00.001-06:00

ConfusLes say: The one man in the world who never believes He's mad is a madman.

To Much Damn Gum

2010-01-06T06:23:00.001-06:00

Do you have any idea how many gum's are out there?? A FRICKIN' LOT!!

I can't believe how many types of gum there are, what the hell happened? I remember the day of Wrigley's Spearmint, and Peppermint. And you had your Hubba Bubba and Bubblicious. And maybe a Trident or two. That's it!! Now there is over 50 different kinds of damn gum on the shelf when I looked!! I imagine there is probably twice this many in reality. Is it really that important? Do we need this many types of gum in our lives?? Does it take this many flavors to get rid of your damn breath?

And they come in these fancy boxes now. These slim packs that look like a little wallet or something. NO .. you know what they look like? They look like some fancy cigarette packs that the upper class smoke. You open up your gum pack by lifting the little flap and it unfolds displaying all your pieces lined up so nice. "Well aren't YOU SPECIAL!!!" High society gum!!! I say "Take your gum and shove it up your ass!"

And there aren't any regular flavors anymore either. They went and got fancy too. Names like 'spring rain' or 'raspberry blush' or 'ice chill' or 'shivermint' or 'fusion strawberry'. Come on!!! Give Me a break! Why do we always gotta think we're better than we really are by putting all these fancy names on shit? It AIN'T fusion strawberry ...it's plain old strawberry and you know it!

Let's get back to basics and have 5 or so flavors of gum and call it good. And quit pissing Me off by trying to complicate everything so damn much. Amen!

Money saving tip #9

2010-01-05T06:11:00.002-06:00

Here is yet another great money saving tip, this time it's for saving money on those damn money sucking things called kids.

If you have kids, chances are you've been to a local carnival or fun night of some sort. Now at those fun nights they sell tickets, and those tickets usually cost 25 or 50 cents apiece. Then you go around and your kids try and throw a ball in a bucket, or catch a rubber duck with a net, or stand in line at a cake walk. Well as time goes on these tickets add up, especially if you have more than one kid. And in the end you've spent 20 or 30 bucks on tickets and in return you have a bunch of plastic, made in china, nickel toys that will eventually be laying around the house getting caught in the vacuum beater bar next time you clean.

Well I just happened to be in Walmart the other day doing My exclusive, high end lifestyle shopping and I walked down the isle and seen these rolls of tickets in the stationary section. A thousand tickets for $3.88. Now that's a hell-of-a-deal. Those 1000 tickets are worth 500 bucks at 50 cents a ticket. And who the hell is gonna catch you?? This is a little carnival put on by volunteer mothers at the ticket booth, and a bunch of high school kids running the games. Not very high tech. All you have to do is make sure you have the right color tickets and your in business.

And if you want to take it to another level, you could stand out in the parking lot of your local school and make a killing on selling these tickets at discount prices. Meanwhile your kids are inside having a blast for FREE!! It's another win-win situation.

And for those of you who think it's rude to take advantage of the school fundraiser. UP YOURS!!!!! The whole damn school is nothing but a fundraiser!!! Every time I turn around they're selling books, and t-shirts, and cookies, and nuts, and candy bars. JESUS H. CHRIST ... I somehow thought the purpose of school was to LEARN ... not to become salesmen!!! And the last time I looked at My property taxes, a HUGE chunk of it was for the school system. If I recall, it was about $1000.00 of MY taxes went to the school, and yet these greedy bastards always want more!!! Now if 1000 people are giving 1000 bucks in taxes each and every year ... I'd say you have enough money to put some chalk on the blackboard. What the hell do you think you are? A CHURCH??

So go out .. buy some tickets, and start taking back some of the money that YOU DESERVE!! Amen!

The heat is on!

2010-01-04T06:42:00.006-06:00

Current outside temperature when I wrote this - MINUS 24 degrees!

Current inside temperature - A balmy 74 degrees!

So what's the big deal? Well .... all My thermostats are turned OFF!

Yup, while most of you out there are fretting how much your heating bills will be this winter, I'll take the logical choice and get My heat totally free.

A wood burning stove does cost around $500, and another $500 for parts to install, but since they last a lifetime it becomes dirt cheap. Add to the fact that typical heating bills can run from 600 to well over a 1000 or 1500 dollars a winter, one might see just how stupid it is to be connected to the grid, and a slave to the system.

I think back to Thanksgiving day when We had family out and were heating the house with the wood burning stove and had all the thermostats turned off. During dinner we actually had to open the outside doors it was so hot in the house. And need I remind you that the cost of getting the house that warm was totally free!! And I have yet to be able to describe the difference of wood heat, but there is something better about it. It's more ... uhmmm ... warming?? I don't know!! All I know is that the heat registers do NOT heat your body the way the stove does. For some reason you can have it be 70 degrees with home heat and feel cold, but 70 degrees with wood heat and your toasty. I can't prove it, but it's true for all My family members.

Yes, much like most things in life .. heat is free. So is water for that matter. And I would argue that in the very near future, electricity will be extremely cheap also. Science is in the process of making solar cells that can literally be printed on a sheet of paper off a computer printer. Well it's a bit more complex than that, but in general that's the truth. We are on the verge of going from $2.50 per solar watt, down to 25 CENTS a solar watt. A ninety percent savings .. not bad.

And before I go, I know what your thinking. "But I don't have trees all over that I can just cut down and use for the winter." In other words .. that sounds like work. I would argue that just about any farmer out there would have some dead trees that he would love to have cut down and taken away. Taking out the dead ones promotes more life for the good ones. So anyone out there COULD get free wood if they 'wanted', but nobody does. I've read a dozen ads this year on the internet alone advertising free wood from people who want old tree rows tore down and stuff. I am fortunate however that I just have to go in My backyard and start cutting.

I would add that most people can't have a wood stove because of a very stupid reason. They never sit their ass down long enough to let a fire heat a house. I'm sure most of you would have a tough time dedicating a good chunk of your day just staying home and relaxing and you would be out driving around in a couple hours running your countless errands, getting a movie, or going to get your 'fast food' supper for your family. And since it's best not to leave a wood stove burning while not at home, your forced to pay for it. You see .. once again, there is such balance in nature.

So I'll leave you with a quote that's kinda cheesy, but is really true as it's great exercise.

"Firewood is the heat that warms you twice. Once when you cut it, and again when you burn it."

'Driving' Me Crazy

2010-01-03T06:10:00.001-06:00

So I'm currently looking for a used vehicle and I'm in shock at how many miles people put on their cars!

What the hell is wrong with you people?? Do you EVER stay at home??

- 1995 Honda with 190,000 miles! That's 13,500 miles a year!

-2001 Chevy with 161,000 miles! That's 20,000 miles a year!

-1997 Subaru with 219,000 miles! That's 18,000 miles a year!

-1999 Chevy with 231,000 miles! That's 23,000 miles a year!

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These are REAL ADS in My area folks!!!

How in the hell do you put on 23,000 miles every year?? That's over 60 miles a day!! And I know damn well you didn't drive it every single day for the past 10 years! What could you possibly need to do that is so important to feel the need to drive that much all the time??

Are you aware that the distance around the earth at the equator is about 25,000 miles?

So each year you have a car, you basically drive around the f-ing EARTH!!!!!!!! Now take that car going around the earth times a billion cars or so!! Now if that's not putting on a hell-of-a-lot of miles, then I don't know what is!! I'm lucky if We put on 4 or 5 thousand miles a year! And I live out in the country far away from the city and the movie place, and the grocery stores, and the malls. I should be the one with HIGH mileage, but instead, all you pricks who live 3 blocks from everything manage to still put on way more than I do. To put it another way, if we had a race around the earth, by the time you crossed the finish line, I would be FOUR YEARS BEHIND YOU!!!

Does this possibly prove My theory about all you dumb asses living in the rat race of life?? I think so!!! Your never home to enjoy YOUR FAMILY ... YOUR LIFE!!! Constantly going going going for NO reason at all. Gotta put in extra hours at work, gotta get the kids in advanced kickboxing, gotta get My clothes to the cleaners, gotta get My hair done, gotta gotta gotta until your dead and buried from the stresses of your life and nothing to show for it. Sit your ass down and have some Country Time Lemonade for Christ Sake!!!!!!!!!

So I would like to thank my pleasant society that I'm forced to live with for making a simple task of purchasing a nice used vehicle a total pain in the ass because every vehicle out there is probably run into the ground with all the God damn driving all of you do!! PRICKS!!!

I'm going to go look at bicycles!!! Screw you all!

2009 - Year in review

2010-01-02T06:39:00.006-06:00

Well 2009 is in the books, and the first day of the new year I love sitting down and going over all our finances for the previous year. I spend literally hours going over how much we spent and where and why. I think if others practiced this even a little bit, they wouldn't be broke all the time.

I'm amazed at how little it takes to live off of. I'm serious! Life is cheap .. it's your LIFESTYLE that makes it expensive. We just finished out 2009 with ONE income probably a bit higher in the pay scale than your average McDonalds worker. That's right, ONE income that didn't even make enough to get out of poverty level, and it took care of a family of 4 pretty damn well. We ate good, the kids are spoiled, we took a trip, we bought some decent non-necessities that were pretty expensive (generator, wood burning stove, etc..). And we did it all with NO government handouts. Were not on food stamps, we don't get heating or living assistance. Hell, FEMA came to My door last spring to hand Me some money for the severe flooding in the area and I basically told them to fuck off! It's just not that hard to live on less, and yet nobody does it or else doesn't believe Me.

Why anyone wouldn't want to cut their work life in half, be debt free, and have no stress is beyond Me but yet nobody does. We don't own credit cards, we have no loans other than the house, and we just watch what we spend. And in return we have all the freedom in the world to enjoy life.

By government standards, we're basically living in poverty. I would argue the exact opposite! Do you know what happens when you live under government standards?? You don't pay taxes! Do you have any idea what a financial burden that is lifted off your shoulders?? And I'm not breaking the law .. I'm not even bending it. I'm simply CHOOSING to live on less because I see what a rat race life is for most of you out there. It's just not worth it! I also choose this because our government is arguably the least fiscally responsible entity I've ever seen in the existence of eternity!! They SUCK!! Why in the hell would I give My hard earned money to someone who can't even come close to balancing their checkbook (the budget)!! And I don't feel guilty about it one bit .. why?? Because I don't ask for government handouts, and I'm not milking the system. I like to think of Me and the government as a annulled marriage .. it just kinda dissolved away. I don't need their help, and they sure as hell won't get mine.

On the flip side I'm not anti government by any means. Taxes on gasoline to pay for roads .. good idea. Taxes to pay for schools, police, fire departments .. great! However .. taxes to go around the world 'nation building', or bail out fiscally irresponsible people .... FUCK YOU!! I'm simply saying the government is extremely inefficient and irresponsible from the money they take from you and me.

Dammit, I'm getting way off track! Back to humble living.

For almost all the months of the year, we (a family of four), lived on less than $2000.00 per month. Of course we had months that are inevitable, like when property taxes are due, or home owners insurance is due ... hey, shit happens. But when you average it out, I would say that a family can easily live a very comfortable life on around 2 grand a month. If you take all the non-necessities out of our spending for the year, it's less than that! But we all gotta live a little, so I included things like vacations, and big boy toys and stuff.

Now I'm pretty certain that most of you make more than double that ... and are still broke at the end of the month. All I can say is "HOW?" How is this possible? I can't even begin to think what we would do with 4 grand a month! Maybe go to Disneyworld every couple weeks! In fact now that I'm working (ha ha), we have extra money to just throw in the bank at the end of the month. And might I add that each month a pull in a 5 DIGIT income .. if you include the cents!! I'm not kidding either, if you think I pull more than a grand a month at what I do, you are sorely mistaken. And in case you forgot, our MAIN source of income is another menial job that gets us health benefits and stuff.

For a very short time I thought since the kids are both in school now, I'm going to go out and get a good paying job with lots of hours and we'll be rolling in dough. Thank God common sense stepped in and stopped Me. If I had done that, I would hardly be with My wife, rarely see My kids, and everything would get complicated and hectic and stressful. You know ... like your typical family!!! Well typical I AM NOT, and with any common sense, I never will be. It just ain't worth it.

So in conclusion, the world would have you believe that getting a good paying job, and climbing the ladder to success will give you all the freedom in the world. I have seen just the opposite come true. You have no time to live your life, tons of stress, and your left with always wanting more more more. The benefits of living the opposite of what the world tells you to live are beyond description. It's just to damn bad that no one will ever believe Me.

FAILURE !!

2010-01-01T06:31:00.004-06:00

Failure .. yup that's Me ! It's time to go back and pull My large foot out of My mouth and then start eating My own words.

This time last year I made some pretty big claims in the form of New Years resolutions. I did this for a couple of reasons. One, I wasn't working. What a perfect time to go out and take on 'brave new worlds', to take some chances and go for it! Two, I had hope that boastfully publishing My goals on the world wide web for all of 10 people to read it would FORCE Me to keep My promises, as apposed to just making resolutions and keeping them to Myself.

Well, it's not ALL doom and gloom. I'm a prick, and that includes being a prick to Myself as well. I feel if I didn't go out and do EVERYTHING, then I did nothing at all. So let's get this over with so we can move on to more important issues in the world. Here is the list of My 2009 resolutions.

1. Eating all natural for as long as I can. - Well now 'as long as I can' leaves it kinda open ended don't you think? At any rate I did it for a month, felt great, then quit. How's that for stupidity?? I still wonder why I quit???

2. Not shaving My beard until I lost 50 lbs. - I did lose 26 pounds, and probably gained it all back since then. It kinda goes with #1 resolution. Quit eating healthy so why keep the beard for losing weight. I think I made it until April-ish and I just decided to shave everything off, including My hair. I still have it all in a zip lock bag if your interested. It's going for $212/ounce.

3. No haircut until I lose 50 lbs. (see #2's response)

4. Not leaving My property for 30 days. - HEY .. I made this one with ease!! It was fun! Shutting out society in full is not only a resolution, it's a goal in life!!!!!! I had a blast for a month, moved some snow, cut down a tree by hand, built a fire and cooked some food in the middle of a field with 6 feet of snow all around Me.

5. Not dragging the rest of the family into living on rice, rocks, and sticks. - Yeah, I made this one too, they all lived a pretty normal year considering their Daddy is only partially sane.

6. Grow a corn maze. - Yeah .. I blew this one big time! In fairness, everything I planned to make this work came apart. The neighbor with all the stuff decided to sell all His equipment to the buyer of His house (major problem for Me). The stuff I wanted to sell to raise capital for this venture turned out to have problems and no one bought it. We had one of the worst winters on records which in turn made for an extremely late planting season. No farmer out there would even think of doing My little 5 acres in His spare time (they didn't have any!!!) And finally, the person who bought My neighbors property said He was going to continue doing a corn maze every year. Now how many people by a house because it has a corn maze with it??? Apparently ONE did!! *odds of that- 1 in 1,252,043.*

7. Making less than poverty to avoid paying taxes to a spend-happy government who bails out big corporations. - I think we made this one too, in fact, I was happy to do it! This is another one of those goals in life that makes total sense to Me.

8. Not going back to work for a year. - Well I was a few days shy of a year, but I guess that's close enough. Had I found a way to make some money without working for the man in the last year, I wouldn't have gone back to work!! But I guess the few hours I put in each week don't really justify as work, just a way to keep the guilt off for not contributing to the family funds while both kids are now in school full time. Besides, I spend a great deal of time passing along My life's philosophy to My fellow co-workers who are half My age. Start 'em young!!!

9. Not fall into a 'made up' religious belief. - NO PROBLEM!! If nothing else, I am a sound believer in rationality and reason today!! I am THRILLED to say I have totally broken free from the religious chains that have kept Me caged in for 36 years. What a feeling this has been. AMEN!!

10. Continue to be a stubborn ass. - Again, no problem! Some days all I have to do is wake up to make this happen!

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There you have it! I fully admit it! I yelled LOUD about doing it, and I didn't make it! In closing I would say I don't know what the hell happened to Me. I used to be the guy that said something, and DAMMIT, I would get it done!! Maybe it's age, maybe it's good old American laziness. Whatever the reason, I'm not happy with it, nor proud of it, but for some reason I'm living with it.

Sorry for the long boring post about My personal life. I try hard not to type about stuff like this as it makes it like so many other blogs out there .. stupid and boring! But when it comes to stuff I said about ME that I failed at, I wanted to cover it ALL, so I wouldn't be the typical hypocrite that so many of us are today! All in all, My life is fantastic! I barely work, I play with the kids, I have ZERO stress, I have no debt, and more free time than anyone could ever hope for, and I'm married to the coolest person on earth. I'm not sure what else you could want, shy of 72 virgins when you die, and we all know what a bullshit story that is.

As for 2010 resolutions, well .. let's just say I'll continue to kick society and the typical way of life in the balls whenever it comes to close to Me and leave it at that.

D.D. Lane

2009-12-31T06:20:00.001-06:00

In the spirit of New Years Eve and stupid drunks on the road, I would like to propose a similar complaint along the same lines.

We need to add a new lane on all public roadways. The D.D. Lane.

What is the D.D. Lane? It's a lane for .. distracted drivers!

Times have changed and people are dumber than ever on the roadways now-a-days. Drunk drivers are becoming the minority. We need to have a separate lane made for all you idiots out there who find that playing with your electronic gadgets more important than driving!!

This goes for all you dickheads with cellphones, or you intelligent schmucks who like to 'text' your buddies while driving, or surf the internet and email on your God damn phone. Or people with GPS's showing them how to get from their house to the mall that they've lived 10 blocks away from all their life.

All you people need your own lane so you can smash into each other and with any luck, take a major chunk of the gene pool with you.

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So I guess since we don't yet have a DD Lane, here's hoping that many of you will be out bar hopping tonight, getting plastered, and then driving home while watching your GPS unit and talking in slurred speech to your buddies on your cell phones. May luck be on your side and you have a head on with a telephone pole, or a fellow drunken idiot. With every one of you who perishes tonight, know that you have made the road just a wee bit safer for the rest of us. Thank you.

ConfusLes

2009-12-30T06:00:00.000-06:00

ConfusLes say:

I've worked. I've not worked. ............... Not work is better.

The snowball

2009-12-29T06:02:00.000-06:00

The American way of life is like a big snowball that we create. I'm sure it's like this all over, but I speak of Americans because that is what I know.

People think they need a job. OK, you go and get a job, but it isn't that simple. To have a job you probably need a car. And not just a car, a dependable car. And if your like a lot of yuppies out there, you need a car that also uplifts your image to show off to your fellow co-workers. Now that car takes money. There's gas, and oil changes, and repairs, and insurance. And how about interest on the loan? I doubt many of you own your car outright, how sad. Most people pay 1000's of dollars in interest before they pay off their car. And might I mention that most people have more than one car? So a big chunk of the reason you got a job (money), is now gone so you can have a car to get to work. SMART THINKING!

And what about the schooling it takes to get many jobs? Think of all the money you dumped into your job and the loans you have to pay for .. all to make money? I wonder how you can make money if your money your making is to pay for the money spent for your job?

And then there is clothes. Most jobs you have to dress nice for (well yuppy jobs anyways). If your a banker, or a Realtor, or such, you need to have nice clothes. And not just nice clothes, you have to have many different outfits so it doesn't look like your wearing the same stuff everyday. And these clothes that you have to buy don't come cheap either. So once again, the reason you got a job (money), is sucked up by your clothing upkeep.

And then there is time. So much time is eaten up at work. Take your typical 8 hour shift. If you count getting ready, driving, taking a lunch, and driving back home your 8 hour day easily becomes 10 or more. So about 1/2 your day is now shot. And considering that you sleep 8 hours, your only left with 4 hours to go. Of course you don't have time to raise your kids, so you put your children in daycare. More money down the drain .. all so you can go out and apparently make money.

And with the stress of the job, you can't always deal with making a nice home cooked meal. So you spend 4 times as much ordering in a pizza or some other food which takes ... you guessed it, more money!! Again I say .. all so you can go out and apparently MAKE money!!

Speaking of kids. Since you don't have time to raise them, you feel guilty about not being a good parent. And to fill this gap, you buy them stuff .. all kinds of stuff. Somehow you feel that all this stuff will fill the void of never raising your own kids, but your kids know better. By the way, all that 'stuff' you buy them takes even more money! Just so you can go out and make money!

And if you want to live the 'good life', and take trips now and then, and live in a nice home, and a nice neighborhood, and have all the toys that the Jone's have, you must work even more!! You make more so you can spend more, so you can make more to spend more! What a snowball we live in.

I purpose, (and have many times) that WORK should be the last thing of importance on our list. So many people think having a career is the top priority in their lives. How sad. When you make that your first goal, then everything else falls down the priority list, like your kids, your spouse, your 'living of your life'!! It's important to note that these snowballs you create are not forced upon you, they are the choice YOU make, even though it seems like you have no choice. YOU DO!!

So let's all go to work today and tell our bosses to "Shove it up His ass!" Let's all stay home, raise our family, grow some food, build a fire, and reset the world to the way it should be. Amen.

Thanks Santa

2009-12-28T06:43:00.004-06:00

Thanks a lot Santa, you drunken fat ass!!

All I wanted for Christmas was 3 simple things! Any ONE of which I would have been happy with.

1. Peace and quiet. - Now this could have been accomplished in many ways. My wife and kids could have been in a coma for a few weeks. We could have gotten MORE snow so nobody could make it anywhere so I wouldn't be forced to go visit family every other frickin day. I could have wandered out during the blizzard and magically got lost and had to start My life over by digging a shelter in a field out in the middle of no where.

Instead I have 2 kids strung up on adrenaline and sugar, family in town with a billion kids screaming and yelling, and other relatives who INSIST that I come visit! Is it that hard to ask to want to be alone ... just Me and the dog, and NOTHING ELSE??? SHIT!!

2. A bigger penis. And it doesn't take a hell-of-a-lot of effort to see that by just looking down, I'm stuck with the same old shriveled up tube of skin that I've always had.

3. A bag of weed.

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So in closing, thank you so much Santa .. Your the best. May your fat ass fall out of the sleigh when your 10 miles up and have an untimely death!!!

In the news (retarded government and terrorism)

2009-12-27T06:11:00.005-06:00

Well during Christmas this year we almost saw a strange thing in the sky but it wasn't Santa Claus! It was a terrorist trying to explode a plane while it was preparing to land. And now our brilliant think-tank that we call our government is making NEW AND IMPROVED rules for flying so this will never happen again!!!

Does this bullshit sound all too familiar?? It does to Me! Like the time when some people smashed planes into the twin towers in NYC. Even though our government had plenty of warning that the World Trade Center was a major target for terrorists, they lied and said "We had NO idea this could have happened!" Then they fill us with bullshit rules and policies to give us this false hope that we are safe. We had every cabin of every plane secured with locks and steel and reinforcements and blah blah blah. Like we suddenly FOILED all terrorists from every doing evil again!!! Bullshit!!!!!!!

Then there was the mixing of the magic liquids on a bunch of planes to blow up over the oceans that happened a couple years ago. Well the government stepped in and said, "NO MORE LIQUIDS!!" Ha ha!! Gotcha .. You evil terrorist!! Now we can't have box cutters, guns, knifes, liquids soap, toothpaste, scissors, and I'm sure 20 other things that is suppose to give us the illusion of safety again. Bullshit!!!!

And then some whack-0 tried to light his shoe on fire to set off a bomb, and immediately the government said, "EVERYONE must now take off your shoes and have them scanned!!!"

And now we have some F-ing religious nutcase who is trying to set himself on fire on Jesus's birthday of all days (kinda funny actually)!! And of course the government has immediately stepped in to thwart another similar attack by passing NEW RULES that will AGAIN make us safe!!! What are these brilliant plans?? Well ....

1. NO FUCKING WITH YOUR CARRY ON BAGS ONE HOUR BEFORE YOU LAND.

2. NO LEAVING YOUR SEATS ONE HOUR BEFORE LANDING.

That's right ladies and gentleman, our most recent terrorist attack was about to happen during the last hour of flight, so our brilliant government has now stated that NO ONE will be messing around with their bags or getting up during the last hour of flight.

So in conclusion, any terrorist who wants to blow up a plane within one hour before landing will have a tough time doing so. However, if you planned on blowing up a plane during take off or mid-flight, you should have no trouble at all. BRILLIANT!!! Taxpayer money in action at it's best !!

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Now hopefully you can start to see the pattern developing. Maybe the pattern that the terrorists will ALWAYS be ONE step AHEAD of us?!?!?! That is, no matter what we do to protect ourselves, the bad guys will ALWAYS have a way to get at us ... ALWAYS!! So the government can keep taking away our rights, step by step, but they will NEVER do what they said they would do in the first place ... protect us! They can't!!!!!!!!

And when they instituted a million laws on every flight going around the world so basically you have to show up nude at the airport .. with NO luggage, and sit in your seat strapped in so you cannot move until you land .... then the terrorists will think of a new way to get at us .... like our water system, or our electrical grid, or one of dozens of ways they could get at us quite easily.

So dearest government, keep implementing new rules to take away every freedom we have until we choke to death from your policies because as you know, your policies rarely work! Just take this latest case of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab. He's been on your watch list for years as a dangerous person and HE STILL MADE IT THROUGH your safety net called 'Homeland Security'!!! Hell .. His own FATHER told the United States "Hey watch out!! My son is a religious nutcase!!" We've spent billions upon billions of dollars since 9-11 and still we have the same threat of terrorism as we did before it all happened. Now that's money well spent!! And even the terrorists know that all the money and policies in the world will not stop someone from doing some demented, screwed up thing, in the name of a 'Magic God' whispering in their ear, telling them to start the famous 'Armageddon' that all you religious nuts want to happen in the first place. Amen!

State of Les

New summer address

The End ??

The hottest woman in the world.

DAMN TAXES

Cyborgs

ConfusLes

Health Care Passes Vote

Work quiz

In the news : Home Schooling

N.M.D.

500

The asteroid belt.

Facebook Analogy Part 8

EARTHQUAKE

John 3:16

Genesis 1:16

ConfusLes

Corporate Greed

Flagellum

Ants

Facebook Analogy Part 7

Goodnight Dinosaurs

Who would YOU rather ??

Tip of the day.

Another damning video

Facebook Analogy Part 6

WHAT A DAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Thought for the day

Dick of the day.

First Ladies

Facebook Analogy Part 5

ORION

Who do you hate more?

ATTENTION PLEASE!!!!!!!!

Facebook Analogy Part 4

Praise Jesus

TED

Density

ConfusLes

Facebook Analogy Part 3

To celebrate Valentines Day, change your profile picture to you and your spouse/significant other and make sure to tell how long you've been together. Copy and paste this to you profile. --- and I have been together since June ---- *Wedding Anniversary -/-/--*

Facts you'd probably not guess about Me

A video for creationists

In the News (voting)

All My Rowdy Friends Have Settled Down

Money saving tip #13

Catholic Corruption

Facebook Analogy Part 2

Quantum Physics

In the news (Haiti court stupidity)

ConfusLes

Go Red For Women

My Solemn Vow

FaceBook Analogy Part 1

If your Dad is your hero, whether you are blessed to have your Dad still with you, or if he has gone to be with the Lord, copy and paste this with his name

*** is listening to Mason sing his little heart out to Johnny Cash...word for word!!!

**** well I am calling it a night..

Chad made vegetable soup and I made apple crisp. We make a great couple!

ConfusLes

Building an empire

In the news (Haiti kidnapping)

Evolution is only a theory

Mars Rover

The Universe

I'm a genius

Pray for Me

S.B.S.

In the News (Haiti Aftermath)

Haiti amputees face desperate quest for limbs.

250 THOUSAND PEOPLEz

WARNING !!!!!!!!

Money saving tip #12

The Rock

Stupidity Alert

Calling the shots

Money Saving tip #11

Breast Cancer

Money saving tip #10

A cell phone and Your asshole

To celebrate Valentines Day, change your profile picture to you and your spouse/significant other and make sure to tell how long you've been together. Copy and paste this to you profile. --- and I have been together since June ---- Wedding Anniversary -/-/--